You reminded me of a term used in the prison business.
I don't care to know exactly how many seniors have been "warehoused" in old folks homes. I am happy not all people are treated this way.

Well, I don't like thinking about it, either. I've had friends tell me I should volunteer my time in those places, but I just can't. It's too depressing for me.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

If your parents had you and they were young, by the time they need care you will be well advanced in your own life and have resources.

If your parents had you later, you will need to stay in the workforce, because you can't take a few years off and ever expect to then have enough for your own retirement.

Unfortunately, life isn't fair.

@Gordon, those people making comments about getting your life back, are they people who you only told stories about the bad days and situations? Never told them about the good days and the joy? Could they have gotten the impression that it was a very tiresome chore you really didn't want and are simply telling you what they thought you wanted to hear?

---

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

If your parents had you and they were young, by the time they need care you will be well advanced in your own life and have resources.

If your parents had you later, you will need to stay in the workforce, because you can't take a few years off and ever expect to then have enough for your own retirement.

Unfortunately, life isn't fair.

@Gordon, those people making comments about getting your life back, are they people who you only told stories about the bad days and situations? Never told them about the good days and the joy? Could they have gotten the impression that it was a very tiresome chore you really didn't want and are simply telling you what they thought you wanted to hear?

The people who have said, "well at least you got your life back" are actually old friends who know the background, and that's what makes their comments so hard to take. I get the impression they are speaking for themselves and ignoring my reality, telling me what they want to hear because it makes them feel better about their reality.

Some people are lucky, they can care for their parents. Some people can't.

Many people can care for their parents, but they choose not to.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Does caring for other include colleagues?

A story about how difficult it may be to get help when you really need one.

My GF Annelie lived and worked for Nitro Nobel in the Manila Philippines, and it happened an accident.
They had a demonstration in a mine, but a stupid Swede took off his helmet too early to light a cigarette.
The blast went off and he was hit in the head with stones.

He was taken to a hospital of course, but it turned out he had a very unusual blood group.
Annelie took on the task of searching for new blood.

In Manila, the United States has a military base called Clark Air Base.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clark_Air_Base
She contacted them MANY times because she knew they have blood from many blood groups.
They said that blood is only given to US soldiers!
After many calls and many tears, they finally gave in.
They sent a helicopter with the blood but unfortunately ...

Too late!

Sigh...
Every time nurses are doing re-bandages on my GF they ALWAYS forget to bring what they need to do the re-bandage!
No wonder why health costs are so expensive!
It takes more than one hour to do it.
I can do it in less in ten minutes.

And of course.
When I talking over the phone with her she is ALWAYS abrupted!!!!!
Happened just right now!!!!!!

Fixa och Molly:)
Two dogs from the short-term living where my GF now stays.
They even make the patients 80+ smile despite suffering from dementia.

At 4.30 am I was woken by my dad who was having trouble breathing.

He said he had no pain but his breaths sounded like a death rattle.

He told me not to call an ambulance, but you can hardly stand there and watch your father in obvious distress.

Something I found out, they have "first responders" here, a paramedic fireman from the local station turned up and checked dad over, giving him oxygen, which was a big help as dads breathing got better straight away.

Then the ambulance arrived and took him to St Marys which is a 20 minute drive away.

Spent 5 hours in A&E while he had all the tests and medication to stabilise him. He has been admitted and I have quickly popped back to shower, change and have something to eat.

All signs are that it was another heart attack, but he was resting OK when I left, the next door neighbour will go into to see him this afternoon.

A draining morning!!

What a way to wake up. Glad it wasn't a tragic scene. Hope the best for you and your dad. May he be home soon.

---

+1

999?
It's better to call 112.
11 February (11/2) is the European 112 Day.
At this occasion, events take place to promote the existence and the appropriate use of the EU emergency number.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/112_(emergency_telephone_number)

In the UK if you call 112 you will access the emergency services in the same way as calling 999. 112 will work across Europe but not in every country world-wide.
You can call 111 when you need medical help fast but it’s not a 999 emergency. When you phone 111 your call is handled by a health adviser who can advise on what treatment you need and how to access it.
101 is for non-emergency calls to your local police force. You can use this number to report incidents to your local police force that don’t require an emergency response.

What?

999 was chosen as the emergency number in the UK because it could be dialled 'blind' (in dark or smoky conditions) in the days of rotary-dial telephones. Having a single number for all emergency services also made it easy to remember in the days when few people had even a landline at home. It's free to use on all phones and all lines.

No doubt every country chose their own individual numbers in those days, but now 112 has been chosen as the European standard. Both 112 and 999 work as emergency numbers in the UK.

The other three-figure numbers Chris mentioned have been added gradually and inconsistently, leading - IMHO - to added and unnecessary confusion. I certainly can't remember them all.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father, Bernie.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

999 was chosen as the emergency number in the UK because it could be dialled 'blind' (in dark or smoky conditions) in the days of rotary-dial telephones. Having a single number for all emergency services also made it easy to remember in the days when few people had even a landline at home. It's free to use on all phones and all lines.

I remember those rotary-dial telephones.
It's only about 5 years ago I had to let that phone go.
And I think the distress calls here in Sweden was 999 as well about 30 years ago.
999 is very hard to dial if you are old and perhaps very distressed on such phones.

999 was chosen as the emergency number in the UK because it could be dialled 'blind' (in dark or smoky conditions) in the days of rotary-dial telephones. Having a single number for all emergency services also made it easy to remember in the days when few people had even a landline at home. It's free to use on all phones and all lines.

I remember those rotary-dial telephones.
It's only about 5 years ago I had to let that phone go.
And I think the distress calls here in Sweden was 999 as well about 30 years ago.
999 is very hard to dial if you are old and perhaps very distressed on such phones.

Come on Janne. Don't tell me you have forgotten that we had 90000 as the emergency number, before we went to 112?
We never had 999.
https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/90_000

LOL:)
I forgot.
That's even worse.
Getting old...

But I remember 594886 that was my parents phone number when I was young still living with them:)

A draining morning!!

...is I'm sure, an understatement.

Glad he's more comfortable, Bernie :) I hope you get a good night's rest tonight. It's not always easy to switch off a full-time carer's brain and senses. They don't always let you relax, when meeting someone else's needs has temporarily shifted to other shoulders elsewhere. Add to that the worry of knowing they've taken a knock back in their health, doesn't help either.

Best wishes to both of you, and a big hug especially for you, just in case you need one.

I don't have any hints or tips. In my case both my parents died very shortly after the first indications of problems.

But I do wonder why some families seem to get all the bad luck.
On Monday I will be attending the funeral of the 30 year old son of my one time next door neighbours and friends. They have also had the experience of having a daughter who had Downs Syndrome and Leukemia who died at 14 in the early hours of Christmas day 1990.
Their surviving daughter was a classmate of my youngest son.

---

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father, Bernie.

---

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your father, Bernie.

+1

Thank you all.

Dad has been stabilised and was looking a lot better when I visited him this evening.

He just wants to come home! I have explained that as his carer I want to make sure he is well enough as I do not want to go through that again.

They think that rather than a full blown heart attack, the valve damaged in his attack in November 2015, had a problem and rather than the pain normally associated, it caused dads breathing difficulties.

I am pretty sure that having the "First Responders" helped a lot as he came from the local fire station, 5 minutes away, whereas the ambulance came form Newport 20 minutes away.

Also technology allows much speedier diagnosis and treatment, he connected the BP cuff and "finger sensor" and the displays told him enough to start the treatment, which the ambulance crew took over.

So now they just want dad to be strong enough to walk unaided (but with his stick). Not sure how long he will be in.

And it has been confirmed as far as possible that he has dementia (I was sure but it is nice to know) everyone who treated him that I spoke to recognised it straight away and one of the doctors asked him several simple questions, like what date is your birthday, what year is it, who is the Queen, etc, they only one he got right was when the doctor pointed to me an asked who I was.

Hopefully I will sleep tonight.