Happy to hear Annelie is healing. :) Such a beautiful name Annelie. :)

So am I :) and yes, I have to agree, it's a very pretty name, Lynn. :) In fact it's so pretty, I got briefly very very jealous, and could barely post for almost a whole minute after first coming across it. I'm over it now though ;)

You don't "persuade" your other half, YOU as the carer make a judgement call yourself

There is a point I think when someone can get so sick and tired of being in hospital, or lying in accident and emergency for 15 hours or more waiting for a bed to be found before they even begin being "in hospital" - especially at weekends - then lying in a ward listening to the suffering of other patients, and phones that ring and ring and ring and never got answered - that the thought of doing so again must pall, and me putting him through that over a false alarm only adds to that sense of utter utter weariness with it all :( And the problem with ambulance staff when they assess him, is as soon as it's mentioned that they're dealing with a dialysis patient on warfarin for blood clots in his lungs - they always without fail - take him in as a precaution, whether it's needed or not. But you are right, Chris - I know what I should do... :)

It boggles my mind sometimes how insensitive people can be.

I can't improve on the replies you've already received here, Gordon, other than to say I know of what you speak and have myself often been left with painful toes after dropping my jaw on them. I'm sure they're intended to be well-meaning platitudes, but silence, or crossing to the other side of the road to avoid speaking to you at all - can actually leave you feeling better than watching their lips move at close range.

I'm so sorry :(

Hospital care works very well and there is no lack of money.
It's politicians and hospital managers that it's the problem.
Managers that sits in front of their computers all day long with a crappy system giving results that later politicians make some crappy decisions from!
Been there, met them as the "Expert":(
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKorP55Aqvg&feature=youtu.be
So is my sister Ann who works for British NHS administrators:)

Happy to hear Annelie is healing. :) Such a beautiful name Annelie. :)
Kind thoughts and prayers to the three of you. :)

Thanks.
Annelie has many names.
Sirka Maarit Annelie
Sirka means cricket in Finnish:)

And it's a small world.
Her father comes from Vaasa where she had a lawyer named Korpela:)

How to deal with sick near and dears with mood swings?
I have no idea!

Hospital care works very well and there is no lack of money.

Really? Which country are you talking about?

Britain and Sweden of course.
Two countries that I know very well how the national health services works.
And many other countries like Finland.
It's all about priority.

Speaking of priorities in health care.
Why do hospital staff insist giving food to diabetics that contain so much sugar?
Makes no sense.
My GF is a diabetic and that's why she had to amputate a leg.
Do the staff want to get rid of her?

Britain and Sweden of course.
Two countries that I know very well how the national health services works.
So is my sister Ann who works for British NHS administrators:)

Then I suggest that living in Sweden, you know nothing about the British NHS, and are maybe relying on second-hand information from your sister.
I further suggest that you read again the first hand facts that Annie recently posted

lying in accident and emergency for 15 hours or more waiting for a bed to be found before they even begin being "in hospital" - especially at weekends - then lying in a ward listening to the suffering of other patients, and phones that ring and ring and ring and never got answered -

Having done that then I even further suggest that you tell her again that

Hospital care works very well and there is no lack of money.

It appears that you are unaware of hospital care in your own country, let alone anyone else's.
NNS crisis 1
NHS Crisis 2
Swedish hospital Crisis

What do you mean?
That I'm stupid?
Second-hand information?
Of course it is!
Do you have first-hand information?
Of course not.
You haven't worked for NHS like my sister does.
As far as I know you have only worked for BT at their back office!

And I have beeing part of developing a surgery computer planning system for Danderyds and Karolinska hospital!
Yes meeting administrators and doctors!
They gave me champagne after a successful implementation!
And we had a nice dinner and one sang an opera song!
How many of them have you met!

And Expressen that you link to is a tabloid very much like Daily Mail!

And why do you bring in Annie in this matter?
Where's your manners?

Janne

Hospital care in the UK is not all good, most hospitals do not have enough money to run efficiently.

Too many bureaucrats have been created and many hospitals struggle.

The people who work on the front line are usually exemplary.

But I don't think many in the UK would hold the NHS up as a model health service.

Janne
Hospital care in the UK is not all good, most hospitals do not have enough money to run efficiently.
Too many bureaucrats have been created and many hospitals struggle.
The people who work on the front line are usually exemplary.
But I don't think many in the UK would hold the NHS up as a model health service.

I know.
Same thing here!
But a model health service only exist in Utopia.
Why?
Too many administrators that get it all wrong!

Hospital care in the UK is not all good, most hospitals do not have enough money to run efficiently.
Too many bureaucrats have been created and many hospitals struggle.
The people who work on the front line are usually exemplary.
But I don't think many in the UK would hold the NHS up as a model health service.

Sadly Bernie, I will agree with you entirely. But al least we have an NHS here, albeit creaking at the seams, not some Obama care that was. Although personally I have no cause for complaint in any of my treatment, I can see that others may well have.

Hospital care in the UK is not all good, most hospitals do not have enough money to run efficiently.
I know. Same thing here!
Hospital care works very well and there is no lack of money.

WHAT?
Are you suggesting that other countries than Britain doesn't have healthcare?
Please explain!

I'm sorry about mentioning the bit about A&E waiting times for beds :( I should have qualified that with the observation that throughout, the nurses, doctors, porters, tea people, cleaners etc are wonderful, with few exception. Where criticism at health staff could be levelled is purely down to understaffing.

Why I need to cling to a home in London, IS because the staff in my other half's dialysis unit have done so much to keep him alive. They know all the ins and outs of how tricky the fistula in his arm is and just how much care and time must be spent on getting him on the machine. He's only ever dialysed once at a different hospital, when they cut the electricity cable at the Olympic park whilst it was being constructed. He ended up in hospital for weeks as a result because his fistula blew. One needle of the two the staff had put in in the other hospital, had simply gone in at an angle that just wasn't appropriate for him. No one's fault.

So please don't anyone worry :) As to seemingly conflicting views - where some see confliction, I see different experiences and different knowledge and thereby stimulating conversations :)

Now - to another matter. My other half was discharged from hospital yesterday. YAY!! :) He's still a lot poorly but he's enjoying being home. I still have things I've been meaning to post here, but they've only been written in my head so far. I will try to get to doing them over the weekend, but what spare time I might have is likely to become somewhat eroded.

I hadn't expected I'd need to post this post when I popped in today. No :) I'd hoped to make a start on one of the ones in the pipeline instead. No matter :) You're all just going to have wait a bit longer for it now :))

Now - to another matter. My other half was discharged from hospital yesterday. YAY!! :) He's still a lot poorly but he's enjoying being home.

Nice to hear Annie:)
xxx
Janne, Annelie and Tosca

We do not pay fees as hospital patients as those in Sweden do.

Now you are insulting me and others!
I know very well what we pay for health care here in Sweden.

High-cost protection!
The high-cost protection means that you pay a maximum amount of patient charges for one year. Once you have reached the maximum amount, you will receive a free card entitling you to free care.
High-cost protection means that you do not have to pay more than a certain amount of patient fees for one year.
Patient fees include both the fees you pay at the county council's receptions and fees from the private healthcare providers who have an agreement with the county council. Visitors to other county councils can also be counted.
If you are looking for care in another county council, these patient fees are also included in the high-cost protection. High-cost protection applies throughout the country. This means that you can get stamps in your high-cost card and that the free card applies to all other county councils. The fees in other county councils are governed by the regulations of each county council.

Fees!
Open healthcare, medical treatment and some dental care: SEK 1100
Medicine: 1,800 kronor
Technical aids: SEK 2,000
Sick travel: SEK 1,400

Maybe you wonder why we have to pay fees at all?
It's because to get rid of free loaders!

Hi Annie, very good to hear that the other half is home today :-)) But as you rightly say, the current NHS staff are very good, even if there are not enough of them. But the question is this. If you had lived in Sweden or the USA for the last few years, could you have afforded the specialist knowledge and treatment you outline, that was necessary to keep him alive?
You have nothing to apologise or be sorry for in my mind, A&E waiting times are a pressing problem that needs to be addressed sooner than later, although probably not by this latest government :-(
There are no conflicting views here either. There are simply facts that can be publicly verified that some are just not aware of before they post.

Please Chris.
I hope you know that this is Annie's thread about "Caring for others".
Not any platform to criticize other countries national health services that you absolutely doesn't know anything about !
Back to topic "Caring for others" wherever you are from.

Once again I find this thread has been taken over by petty bickering.

I am a regular user of this thread and am sad to see people who seem to have no idea what this thread is here for.

So, as a carer it is often extremely helpful for me to put my problems down and let others read them, it is a release of sorts. One I need at this moment.

However, I cannot I suppose, expect those who have never experienced being a full time carer to understand..

I won't hide all the off topic posts but I will abandon this thread for now.

I want a thread people will read not one they will avoid due to petty bickering.

Please no more post here unless it is related to the thread title

This is a plea from me, not the "mod"

*frank blink from podium*

People :) I appear to be leaving a trail of contention in my wake - you know... since my return :(

I did think here might be somewhere I might not :) Mainly because I was hoping not to add to my list of burgeoning talents - the ability to destabilise a thread about caring for others.

I sincerely hope Bernie won't be away for long. No. Actually, I sincerely hope he won't be away at all :)

edit: I am currently choosing which topic to write about first... an update on my mum (and the method that's worked at averting lunges) ; or some observations on psychotic depression. So, I may be some time :)

I think in some ways, by having had children, it might perhaps be a bit easier to muddle along backwards with an elderly relative - you know - along those milestone charts infants are expected to meet as they grow older, yet have no idea about whilst they're doing it. It doesn't mean as your parent's "parent" you are necessarily any more able to predict the next step down you'll be problem-solving as your journey with them progresses, but you do have a resource of experience to draw from that might help as they do. Obviously - they're not likely to prove to you that there are 67 ways to descend a slide without doing so the way you expected *boggle eyes at planet* but it could explain how they might have got wedged between the wall and the toilet in the second you took your eyes off them.

I know what you mean about how precious those moments are when a child pops home to help bear some of the weight that caring for a loved one inevitably deposits on your shoulders, Chris. I'm glad you were able to do that for your dad, and your mum :) With the world as it is now, the ease with which we can travel great distances and relocate ourselves to far flung outreaches of the planet, building lives and commitments far removed from those who brought us up, can seriously hamper us from doing even a little of what we know we would if we could.

Bernie and Gordon have been, and are, an enormous inspiration to me :) and Janne too :) I know I've often expressed some trepidation about my other half coming out of hospital and whether I will be able to meet the additional care needs that will come home with him. Annelie's illness is one of those life-changing ones. I'm glad she has someone to lean on as they both set out on the rest of their lives together, with Tosca too, of course :)

Now - as promised:

How to stop being thumped by your mum every time she sees you :)
1: Have an amazing daughter who, via social media, organises a group of her friends (some going back as far as primary school) to pop by in groups of twos and threes over the course of a few weeks, to give you big hugs and express enormous delight at seeing you, even if you can't remember their names. :)

2. Have your son, without your knowledge (and who knows his granny is almost pathological in her hatred of the colour black) buy a few plain tee-shirts and some fabric paint and write HUG HERE on them in large, pretty-coloured letters :) and wear them every day.

3. Have a bit of a cry over how wonderful your big little ones are :) and how fortunate you are to have them in your life :) wherever they are in the world, then enjoy the results of their efforts.

Not entirely foolproof, but with patience and a couple of wary flinches - success.!! :)

I know I've often expressed some trepidation about my other half coming out of hospital and whether I will be able to meet the additional care needs that will come home with him.

We have a saying here.
"Borta bra men hemma bäst" (literally: away (is) fine but home (is) best)
Meaning "There's no place like home" :)

Cheers and take care.

I think in some ways it was good that I never married or had kids because my mother's illness would have more than likely have caused arguments about care. As the only child and living relative, I was the sole decision maker, and glad because there was no stress involving other people. I get irritated thinking about how so many parents get pushed into nursing homes like pieces of inventory. I just never could have done that. It would have killed me.

Even though everyone tells me I'm unfair to myself thinking this way, I still feel bad about moving out after I graduated from college(University of Louisville), and establishing some independence. My mother was alone, and so was I, just in different ways, and no good really came from my time to myself. I didn't commit any crimes or anything, but I shortchanged my quality time with my parent.

As often as you can, tell the people you love that you do love them and hug them and kiss them. You will never be sorry about that.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

You reminded me of a term used in the prison business.
I don't care to know exactly how many seniors have been "warehoused" in old folks homes. I am happy not all people are treated this way.

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