I am told my fathers diagnosis is ALS, and kidney failure. He is in home hospice now. No more treatments or doctors. There is a lot of uncertainty at the moment, for a lot of reasons not mentioned.

Steve

---

Warning, addicted to SETI crunching!
Crunching as a member of GPU Users Group.
GPUUG Website

I am told my fathers diagnosis is ALS, and kidney failure. He is in home hospice now. No more treatments or doctors. There is a lot of uncertainty at the moment, for a lot of reasons not mentioned.

Steve

Kind thoughts and best wishes for you and your father as you deal with his condition, Steve.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

My thoughts and feelings go with you, Steve.

I understand where you are, after my Mother's stroke, and treatment via what was then the Liverpool Care Programme...

Also my father's Alzheimer's.

If you want to chat, I'm happy to if necessary.

---

Happy Crunching,

Graham

I couldn't do what nurses do even though I have a caring nature.

Yes, I understand.

I do things for my mother that I could never do for strangers. Those who go into the nursing profession and like it, are amazing people.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

More than amazing. Just returned from Addenbrookes. We had 3 apt's. 9:30, 10:45 & 12:00.

1st one over ran the 2nd, receptionist notified 2nd - sorted.

Attended 1 hr late & as doctor called us in, that receptionist contacted 3rd. - sorted.

While at 2nd an emergency app was booked for Tuesday, asked receptionist could it be re-arranged for Thursday as have a CT scan booked. Receptionist contacted CT dept who arranged CT scan before attending 3rd apt.

Treat doctors, nurses & receptionists with the respect they deserve, it works wonders :-)

I greatly appreciate that advice, Angela. Thank you. I will do so :)

@Steve: :( thinking of you

@

So I have a plan

That's not going well, people :/ I will persevere with it a little longer but it might turn into something I don't advise anyone try.

Anniet, Huggs!

---

Smiling really helps. My mother asked for "some more of that white water"(milk) today, and due to the political nature of things right now, I first thought of Clinton.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Well it has been five weeks since I moved in with my dad. Overall it has been a lot easier than I had thought.

My dad is still mobile and likes to do things for himself. However his main source of enjoyment, watching TV has also proved to be a frustration. He has had a PVR for many years and was able to set it to record the programs he wanted. Earlier this year it gave up and a friend got him a new one. This of course came with a different remote and a different menu and settings and as his eyesight is really poor he has not been able to get to grips with it. I have been able to help by setting it to record his favourite programs. Of course I have to set it to playback as he just cannot manage the remote. Lately he has started to become totally confused between "live" and "recorded".

He had been watching a recording and came in to ask me if I could switch it over to live as he wanted to watch a program the announcer had said was on next. When I tried to explain that he was watching a three week old program and the program he wanted was on three weeks ago he became even more confused. This happened again a few days later, when I once again tried to explain, he said, "why do they keep announcing programmes no one can ever see"

Then on Sunday he had managed to get the tv onto his favourite channel without my intervention. After several hours of watching he came in and said "this Sherlock Holmes programme keeps going, it hasn't stopped yet".

Quite sad for me to see. I know he had been able to record and watch programmes when my stepmother was alive but now he just cannot grasp it.

Also living "out of town" he has had to rely on friends and neighbours to take him shopping as he cannot walk far. He fell out with one neighbour and lost her help and has been restricted in the last year to a once a week trip, so he has become a hoarder, if he uses one of something in a week he has half a dozen stored, if he uses something everyday he has a cupboard full! Slowly he is coming to realise I walk into the town everyday and I have a car and can get whatever he wants whenever he wants. His fridge struggles to keep cool as it is always totally full to bursting. Hopefully, now I am here I can slowly get things onto a more normal level.

Gordon mentioned that it is important to be able to relax, I am extremely lucky that my father picked such a beautiful place to retire. With my love of photography and walking I have been able to relax and enjoy my surroundings. My only regret is that my dads eyesight does not let him share in my pictures.

So far it is a positive experience tinged with sadness as I remember the man my father was.

confused between "live" and "recorded".

I can totally relate to your father and the tv situation. My mother used to be self-sufficient at time-shifting programs, but now she looks at the remote and thinks it's a chocolate bar.

I keep her computer skills up by making sure she checks her email everyday. She's always really enjoyed the computer and belongs to a couple Yahoo groups. I got her online many moons ago, in the days of Windows 3.1. I remember we went somewhere back then and bought some clipart on a floppy disk for I think 25 cents an image. We both thought it was pretty darn cool, though.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

So far the only older relatives in My life are My sister in law and My cousin's wife Grace, Grace has Alzheimers, unlike My Grandma who is named Grace who died in Her 80's as healthy as a horse back in 1968, and My cat Grace, who yep is healthy as a horse, and when She runs almost sounds like one.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

So far it is a positive experience tinged with sadness as I remember the man my father was.

That is what it is :) all the time, it's just the tinging gets more achy some days :/

Grace, who yep is healthy as a horse, and when She runs almost sounds like one

I have a couple of heffalumps on their furry feet :)) not that I'm suggesting Grace is a heffalump of course ;)

I keep her computer skills up

I never had any luck getting my mother to take to computers unfortunately. She was a very fast touch-typist on manual machines though, but I don't think her joints would be up to the job. She doesn't do flatter keyboards because she can't get a dialing tone.

Smiling really helps.

It does :) Especially after getting over the new feature of my mornings - the full blown panic attack outside her bedroom door.

What you're experiencing is not uncommon.

Thank you for saying that :) The way questions are phrased at me, I'm often left feeling like it is something I am not doing properly. I am struggling to establish a routine for her. It should be easier with my other half now back in hospital but it isn't. I miss him chuckling whenever I flop face down in a pillow stifling an aaaargh before treating him to a snippet of my day. There's no one to make light of it for :(

There is no shame in resorting to a care home for her. Remember that.

I can't have too many more weeks like the last two, and I am ashamed of that :/ But thank you so much for the advice :) I'm not ready to give up quite yet though.

Awwwwwww :) thank you, Ian

*share Ian's hug with everyone here*

:)

*share Ian's hug with everyone here*

:)

It's hard, and I have friends who think they know, but they don't, and they say things that don't help. In the grand scheme of things, I know the way I'm taking care of my mother is the right way for both of us. My mother is always asking me if she can kiss me. I'm going to miss that when she's gone.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I've had some people think I get government assistance to take care of my mother, but unfortunately that isn't the case. Even if Iva was on Medicaid, the payment to me as an in-home care-giver would only be $2,500 a year. Iva doesn't qualify for Medicaid because she has independent investment income(she's not rich, but her private investment money means she can't qualify as destitute). She is on Medicare - That just means her medical care is covered up to a point governmentally, and then her supplement(Anthem in her case) covers the rest. Her entire March to July 2014 hospital incarceration didn't cost her a penny due to the combination of Medicare and her supplemental insurance.

I quit my job to make sure my mother is safe, healthy and happy. I'd rather go out in the backyard and shoot myself than put her in a nursing home.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

There are days when I think about my stepmom as she ages. She's in her early 60's and her memory is not 95%.
That is not a pleasant thought Mr. Lowe. We would like you around for years to come.

---

Since I know what a heffalump is, I've seen and read a lot, but then I worked in a library at one time(that does not exist anymore, though the building still exists), I won't worry about it, and Grace could care less, She's a cat who knows I love Her and protects Her.

I come home and She is here, I'd rather have someone here with Me, than a home that had no love at all, except for Her, I live alone here where I live at.

I almost had a GF, but She found a man, She moved away with Him, and as soon as He gets a job, She has said She'll marry Him, I can't compete with someone else, I can be kind, understanding, humorous even, but He lived with Her, so I was at a distinct disadvantage, He may never get a job though, He's an ex-con, though He is friendly and I don't bear any grudge against Him, even though She did like Me, as did Her 4 Dogs.

I can't live here forever, and I don't want to leave My home to the park, and to the neglect I've seen so much of here in other mobile homes...

I still need to get some pics of the park, but I got sidetracked today, a friend called and needed a ride to and from Barstow CA, I got the car's gas tank almost fully filled today as a result.

This park used to be a good place to live at, one of My friends is fixing junked cars from time to time to raise extra money to move out, I need to move out of this dilapidated slum of a park, and I'm taking My mobilehome with Me and Grace. It's what I can afford, I can't stand to pay anymore rent increases, not on My current income. $17,000 to maybe $35,000 is what I need to move and do setup on private property elsewhere, the 7405 sqft of land(see pic below($9,999.00)) would be $10,299 at most(includes closing costs, which could be paid by the seller($300.00)), the rest is disconnecting umbilicals(electricity, nat gas, water, sewer, phone, and cable), moving(My furniture and the home), and setup(which includes a new septic system, in addition to the other utilities), I've done this before, so I know the routine, I'd need 2 permits(building & utility installation from the paved street), any required for moving the contractor would get. The Joshua Trees are a bonus.

---

The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

It is 1:30 am in the morning my time(EST), and my mother just called out for help. She's in bed, but for whatever reason she thinks she's in her car, and "can't get my car started", and "can't make the turn"(out the doorway of her bedroom). I think this anxiety is related to her inability to get up out of bed and do what she wants to do. Her back and legs never got strong enough during that 4 month hospital hell for her to regain independent mobility. I go through this almost every night, just like I go through trying to re-explain to her why I need to bathe her everyday. Does it make me frustrated? Yes!! But... I can help her, and I'm going to help her.

Yesterday, after I told her I was going to brush her teeth, she started singing "this is how we brush our teeth, brush our teeth, brush our teeth; and then she sang "this is how we wash our hair, this is how we wash our hair, this is how we wash our hair" in the bathtub. I have an 80 year old baby, and she's a good baby, but I just wish people as they age to a point where they need infant type care would shrink down to basinet size.

This is not all to say my mother is gonzo mentally. She's always had a very bone dry sense of humor, and sometimes I see a smirk on her face when she says off the wall things, and then I realize she's just being normal. I write a daily diary of what I call Iva-isms because she has a lot of things that make me smile and I want to remember them. I do audio recordings of us, too, and of course take pictures.

I don't want the end for her to be in a nursing home, and I am doing my best to make sure it won't be.

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place

It's been brought to my attention that elements of my opening post here are liable to be viewed as a gross breach of a vulnerable old lady's right to privacy.

My decision to reveal what I did was not taken lightly. I wrestled long and hard with my conscience in coming to the decision I did, but I concede that it may well have been the wrong one.

I have told the person that I will not object to them red-xing the post if they wish. I just wish the problem was that easy to resolve.

edit: you know... when people walk into my house and sniff, and I know they can smell the urine emanating from my furniture no matter what I do to remove it, I always apologise and falsely attribute it to cats with cystitis. I just thought I'd mention that.

last edit: But I should also say I appreciate the honesty with which the matter was brought up with me.

... Earlier this year it gave up and a friend got him a new one. This of course came with a different remote and a different menu and settings and as his eyesight is really poor he has not been able to get to grips with it. ...

Eric and I had a similar experience with my 92 year old aunt. She needed a new phone. We got her one especially designed for seniors, but it was too complicated for her and we are now on a second, cheaper model. It is working out better for her. Sometimes, with elders, cheaper models of things are better because they have fewer features.

---

Our phone has nice big number buttons that light up. I even found her a lighted computer keyboard. We both love it!

---

The mind is a weird and mysterious place