Her life force is no longer with us.
Tigger has left this plane.
And so, with mine does.

We shall all meet another day.
Not mine to say.
No more cuddles from Tigger/////.
Now I have only two.
Bandit and Purrball.

If not for them, I would follow Tigger.


Meowsome.,

Life has to go on.

Bandit and Purrball will need a little bit extra attention, a bit more loving as they are down a companion as well.

It may be a bit early but think of all those poor pussies down at the rescue center that are looking for a good home, every day counts for them.

Take care.

I am taking care as well as I am able to.
It's not like it was a sudden event, as much as the brick road came up.

And I have been looking for and stumping for the shelter kitties for years and years and years now.
If I ever need some more pussy, you know exactly where I shall go.........and than would not be a chicken shack....LOL.
My kinda pussy is found only at the Fox Valley Humane Society... Otherwise now known as Fox Valley Pets.org......

Any wishing to commemorate Tigger's passing may direct such kind efforts there.
Lori has adopted from them, and if I am ever to get more kitty companionship in my future, that is where they shall come from.

As you may understand, I am far too fragile and wounded to consider that at this moment............................

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

To my few remaining friends here................

You cannot, I suppose, understand the pain and suffering I have been through for the past few months regarding Tigger.
Her passing was not a sudden event.
It was something that due to her passing of cancer, required much of my time and life energy for many months.
It has wiped me out both emotionally and monitarily.
I had her from a kitten that could literally fit in the palm of my hand until today when she passed.

Will take a long time to recover from.

I do thank the few of you that have responded here or via PM to try to console me. It is very much appreciated. Even Lori's support has collapsed with the weight of the situation.

I understand my weighing on the support available has taxed everybody including myself beyond belief.

Tigger was an exceptional kitty, and losing her has taken me beyond what most can accept as simple emotional grief. Her fight to live and stay with me was a most emotional tale. And I realize that many here on Seti simply are not in my state of mind regarding cats.

I consider them at a state of evolution above mankind, kids.
I do. And given that stature in my life, there is little I would not do for them.

I don't think that Bandit and Purrball will be impacted by this very much, as Tigger had kinda distanced
herself from the herd, so to speak, for a long time.
She would interact with her sisters, but on a limited basis. And usually kept to herself. I could have intercepted this as trouble coming on months before I found the lumps in her neck, but was clueless. Now I understand more.

If all this had come about 35 years ago, I would be more grateful for the experience. But as it stands now, at 59 years of age, I am not sure I can do much more for the kitty community.

I have said and done much more for kitties at large than most have.
Both homed and still needing homes. And there are still so many.

I can take this to my grave with much of my life fulfilled regarding kitty husbandry. At the very least, although I cannot give them all homes, I have raised the awareness level of their plight thousands of times over.

I am the original kittyman on Seti. And this gives me much pride and joy, and perhaps a few kitties some homes.

Please give the all a few extra kitty kisses, snuggles, or simply a petting behind the ears. Whatever your personal kitty requires. They live such shorter lives than we do, so their hours are like our years. And so, a minute of love shown by you might mean months of love to a kitty...here is a simple Cat to man life calulator.] Tigger pased at about 72 year of age, by our standards.
Think about that whilst you are simply petting your pussy.Your love and attention mean more than you suspect.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Mark.

---

Poor Tigger dead and gone.............
Left me here to sing her song.
Pretty little kitty with a tail so long,
Poor Tigger dead and gone........

Meow meow meow meow meow meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

And ya know..............
When suddenly you have no other reason to live for................
And when that one you had is taken from you?

There is suddenly a vast silence.

Two cats, and one is gone,. They are looking at me like I did something to take their sister from them. Cats do not understand cancer. None of us does.

It is simply a cruel, complicated, dedicated, and relentless disease.
In cats or otherwise. We cannot seem to control or conquer it.
It is, in reality just a series of cell mutations. We can map the entire human genome, but cannot stop cancer in it's tracks????

I could give two reasons for that.
1. There is more than I know to prevent our total knowledge of our being.
2. And this is the reality of the situation..................
There actually IS a conspiracy in the medical community that benefits from patents and drugs being withheld from the market until their maximum benefit.........to the pharmacies. There are certainly mathmatical formulas that can calculate cost to benefit ratios. And the big pharma are inersted in nothing than those ratios. Not the cost to cure ratio,. Not the cost to insurance, they will always pay.
And you know what I am saying is true.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Every single day, for months now.................................................................
I have walked into my bedroom at night wondering how Tigger was doing.

And suddenly.....................nothing.

I am uncertain if I can recover from this.
I may or may not.

I may or may not be back to crunch again .

I have nothing I can tell you for sure right now.
My life existed upon Tigger,And now that she has left, I am not sure of my direcdtion.
Things have really changed.
Fundamentally, totally changed.
A life's dynamics changed.

The one and only thing that has escaped me for months how.





I gave her everthing. Now it is my time to perhaps sleed.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

For Tigger, my love and lost companion.

The words are so appropriate.
For Tigger, wherever I may find her.....................

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Just an early morning and very sad check in.
Just went down to the kitchen for a drink of water and realized there is no longer any need to watch out for Tigger there.

Oh, God. Please help me now.
You sent her to me, now I need some help when I had to send her back to you.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

This always help just a little bit.
Love Meow.com.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

RIP Tigger.

Just a song for Tigger.
Most of you shall understand the reasons and hurt and pain of the duality of both the song and what is still means today.
Take this, and try to explain the pain away.
Every time I listen to this, it brings back nuances of that night at Alpine Valley.
His last show.

He says......."mostly, I am happy that I am alive today"

I think he is petting Tigger now, for she knew how much I loved him as well.
Not much of a reach to wish for.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Just an early morning and very sad check in.
Just went down to the kitchen for a drink of water and realized there is no longer any need to watch out for Tigger there.

That unfortunately is normal...

So is looking for their food bowl at meal times or calling for them when handing out treats.

I also find myself calling the "wrong" name to a new dog.

This will occur less and less over the coming weeks but its lightly to happen when you least expect it.

I also find I get this after passing on a dog that I have had in for training for a couple of months to a new owner, the advantage with these is that I often get to see them again.

---

Kevin

Life itself is a most amazing mystery.
Given from above and taken away at times for no reasons we can here on earth determine.
I look beyond for answers.
None have been found as of yet.

But that does not mean we should cease looking.

Perhaps not in my lifetime.

But I can say most definately that I helped to answer the question.
Even if not the answer I was seeking.

You, and I, and thousands of others, have at the very least, posed the question to the heavens and earth to wonder WHY we exist. Who we are, and why we exist on this cool blue orb that orbits the sun unlike any other in existence.

Just the proper distance from the sun...........over millions of miles.
This in itself, should give you pause to reflect.

And the loss of my little kitty is so small in the big picture, and yet so large to myself. Hard to know just how it all fits together.

I will travel yonder one day, and perhaps the Lord above shall show me how all the pieces together.
Or if, in the case that some folks make, there is no God, at least I shall cease to exist altogether.
I am prepared for either eventuality.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Just an early morning and very sad check in.
Just went down to the kitchen for a drink of water and realized there is no longer any need to watch out for Tigger there.

That unfortunately is normal...

So is looking for their food bowl at meal times or calling for them when handing out treats.

I also find myself calling the "wrong" name to a new dog.

This will occur less and less over the coming weeks but its lightly to happen when you least expect it.

I also find I get this after passing on a dog that I have had in for training for a couple of months to a new owner, the advantage with these is that I often get to see them again.

I just went down to the kitchen to get a bite.
For the last few months, that required dancing about Tigger as she made her way or did not, to and fro.

I miss very much dodging her.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Shovel in hand, I tried this morning to do what must be done.
I could not.
Made it out to about 50 feet from the house and faltered there.
I could not take another step.
Fell to my knees.
Prayed for the longest time I have in many years.
Nobody watching other than my Lord above.

And then suddenly..........I swear............
I felt His hand on my shoulder and snapped around, expecting somebody to be there. Nobody but myself was there. I was ready for a fight..........

And then.....
This moment of total clarity and calmness overtook me. Hard to describe with words here.

I am sure or almost sure that it was my own mind saying this, but perhaps not.

"Son of God, son of Mary.....you are not alone. I have taken your Tigger kitty to a place where there is no more hurt, no more pain. She is at rest and happy now. Go rest now, and do what you must tomorrow."

I dropped the shovel and fell onto the snow. And cried for what seemed like hours. My tears stained the freshly fallen snow. And left it there.
I am sure now that my tears were Tigger tears.
And released her from the world I kept her in for 15 years.
She is free now. She is pain free. She can run and jump and play like she used to do.

And THAT is how I shall forever remember my Tigger.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well....
Time for the ol' kittyman to gather my strength and head back off to work.
It will probably be a good thing for me to keep my hands busy and try to get my mind off of painful thoughts for at least a little bit once in a while.

I am sure it is going to be a very long week for me to get through, but get through it I must.

Meowsigh.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I have been there with kitties I have known and loved.

Sending good thoughts your way.

---

Mark, my thoughts and deepest sympathy to you. I've lost since January, my last Aunt, 2 close friends of half a century and on last Wednesday said farewell to another friend of 45 years. I grieve with you as Tigger was no less a person for not being human.

The Celebrant at my most recent friend's farewell said something that stuck with me to the effect "All of our Hopes and Dreams eventually collide with the reality of mortality. But the Hopes and Dreams do not pass with the collision but transform into warm memories of the life shared."

Namaste' my friend.

---

"Sour Grapes make a bitter Whine." <(0)>

Mark, my thoughts and deepest sympathy to you. I've lost since January, my last Aunt, 2 close friends of half a century and on last Wednesday said farewell to another friend of 45 years. I grieve with you as Tigger was no less a person for not being human.

The Celebrant at my most recent friend's farewell said something that stuck with me to the effect "All of our Hopes and Dreams eventually collide with the reality of mortality. But the Hopes and Dreams do not pass with the collision but transform into warm memories of the life shared."

Namaste' my friend.

Thank you for such a very kind and understanding post.
I send condolences for your losses as well.
Namaste' to you too, my friend. (bows slightly with much appreciation and a sigh)...
My own collision with reality has been very harsh and abrupt indeed, as death usually is.

The kittyman is still very much lost in no man's land and is struggling to defeat the forces of darkness that have set upon him. With limited success.
That is why I have not posted much for a while...I simply am at a loss for words, and I sense that some have exhausted their compassion for my mourning of my dear Tigger II.

The time force continuum that has been the greater part of my life for almost 15 years has been disrupted. In fact, quite torn asunder.
As you noted, my cats are almost human to me.
They sleep with me, are aware at the moment I may awake each day, and are no less children of mine than if I had sired them myself.
Genetically impossible, of course, but not emotionally so.

I have long referred to them as my kitty consultants as especially Tigger II, often came to snoopervise what I was doing with the crunchers. Every day for almost 15 years.

One has to realize that I took 3 little kittens into my hands one day almost 15 years ago and I promised them a forever home and forever love. And I have kept that promise. Bandit and Purrball are still doing very well, and bolster my courage to face each day since Tigger left us. And I shall care for both of them as their needs require no matter what. Just as I did for Tigger II.
And the original Tigger, and Squirrel as well. Each one got every second, vet visit, moment of attention, and best care they could have been afforded when their time came.

All of whom shall live forever in my memories and on the Rainbow Bridge until I get there.

It's been two weeks since Tigger II passed onward, and I am just now starting to get to the point where I am allowing myself to remember some of the better memories she gave to me....a few smiles through the tears, so to speak.
I opened a new bag of kitty food the other day, and remembered that usually when I did so in the past, Tigger would come bouncing across the bed to do an inspection and sniff test of the new kitty food bag...LOL. Every time, she would do that.

And, in real life, work has been keeping me very busy.......11 hour shifts, and 8 hours of OT on Fridays...heavy workload, but it keeps my hands busy and my sorry mind somewhat occupied.

Thank you to all who have shown me that some of you do, indeed care about the Setizen known as the kittyman. And understand that the way I got that moniker was and is why I am suffering such pain at present.

Best wishes and kitty kisses to you all.............
I am trying to maintain. Stumbling, but, one kitty paw in front of the other, I progress slowly.

Meow,
Mark

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Mark, my thoughts and deepest sympathy to you. I've lost since January, my last Aunt, 2 close friends of half a century and on last Wednesday said farewell to another friend of 45 years. I grieve with you as Tigger was no less a person for not being human.

The Celebrant at my most recent friend's farewell said something that stuck with me to the effect "All of our Hopes and Dreams eventually collide with the reality of mortality. But the Hopes and Dreams do not pass with the collision but transform into warm memories of the life shared."

Namaste' my friend.

Thank you for such a very kind and understanding post.
I send condolences for your losses as well.
Namaste' to you too, my friend. (bows slightly with much appreciation and a sigh)...
My own collision with reality has been very harsh and abrupt indeed, as death usually is.

The kittyman is still very much lost in no man's land and is struggling to defeat the forces of darkness that have set upon him. With limited success.
That is why I have not posted much for a while...I simply am at a loss for words, and I sense that some have exhausted their compassion for my mourning of my dear Tigger II.

The time force continuum that has been the greater part of my life for almost 15 years has been disrupted. In fact, quite torn asunder.
As you noted, my cats are almost human to me.
They sleep with me, are aware at the moment I may awake each day, and are no less children of mine than if I had sired them myself.
Genetically impossible, of course, but not emotionally so.

I have long referred to them as my kitty consultants as especially Tigger II, often came to snoopervise what I was doing with the crunchers. Every day for almost 15 years.

One has to realize that I took 3 little kittens into my hands one day almost 15 years ago and I promised them a forever home and forever love. And I have kept that promise. Bandit and Purrball are still doing very well, and bolster my courage to face each day since Tigger left us. And I shall care for both of them as their needs require no matter what. Just as I did for Tigger II.
And the original Tigger, and Squirrel as well. Each one got every second, vet visit, moment of attention, and best care they could have been afforded when their time came.

All of whom shall live forever in my memories and on the Rainbow Bridge until I get there.

It's been two weeks since Tigger II passed onward, and I am just now starting to get to the point where I am allowing myself to remember some of the better memories she gave to me....a few smiles through the tears, so to speak.
I opened a new bag of kitty food the other day, and remembered that usually when I did so in the past, Tigger would come bouncing across the bed to do an inspection and sniff test of the new kitty food bag...LOL. Every time, she would do that.

And, in real life, work has been keeping me very busy.......11 hour shifts, and 8 hours of OT on Fridays...heavy workload, but it keeps my hands busy and my sorry mind somewhat occupied.

Thank you to all who have shown me that some of you do, indeed care about the Setizen known as the kittyman. And understand that the way I got that moniker was and is why I am suffering such pain at present.

Best wishes and kitty kisses to you all.............
I am trying to maintain. Stumbling, but, one kitty paw in front of the other, I progress slowly.

Meow,
Mark

. . . simply wonderful Mark - well put & God bless your children

joanne & i send our best wishes my friend - be well Sir

Respectfully yours

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