What makes someone a M.C.P

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Darth Beaver
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Message 1673211 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 0:24:23 UTC

What make someone a Male Chauvinist Pig ?

I am not shore but seeing as some here say behind my back that i am one let's put it to the test shale we , as i think there comments show they are the MCP by back stabbing some one here in these threads and i suspect in other social networks like Facebook .

So to be a M.C.P you must have done all the comment below

1 put your life sayings into a joint account with your partner
2 have a mortgage in your name only but the deed to your house in both names
3 buy flowers every week for 9 1/2 years
4 do housework , cook , clean , wash dry and hang the washing our and iron it too without your partner asking
5 never forget valentines day , the day you meet , got engaged , and married without your partner reminding you
6 allow your partner to have 2 weeks holiday without you and never ask where what or who she meet
7 go out of your way several times a yer to plan book and have a romantic night at a 7 star hotel in your major city followed buy a a meal at the best restaurants in town follow'd buy a 20 min ferry trip to the Manly where on disembarking you would take a slow walk along the beach promenade follow'd buy anther 20 min trip back on the ferry to the hotel where in the morning you have a champagne breakfast and most importantly you can never do this just on Valentines day .
8 put up with constant threats of "i'll send you bankrupt if you leave me " and then being introduced and reminded of how your partner has a Aunt that was married with 3 kids and got divorced but after about 10 years they got back together and remarried , and constantly told that her song was Meat Loaf's 2 out of 3 an't bad
9 allow your partner to go out clubbing on a regular basis (once a week at least) while your at work and come home at any time which was usually around 4 am even thou the clubs and pubs closed at 1 am leaving only the single pick up joints open and never ask what where or whom she meet
10 after a separation sit down and right a list of good things and bad things in the relationship and you put on that list that after everything your partner changes her mind about having a family and breaks her marrige vows so you decide no family no marriage

YEP i Must be a real M.C.P all right

I bet most of the one calling me this DON't buy flowers or even do the dam house work let alone with putting up the the other crap i had to and therefore show's those that call me a M.C.P to be no more than spoilt little frat people that live on backstabbing others or being judgemental with out knowing all the facts .In my book there the low life's the one's whom point the finger but don't have the guts to say things to your face .

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Message 1673218 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 0:50:31 UTC - in response to Message 1673211.  

Glen IMO that's called being used.
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Message 1673287 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 6:20:27 UTC

Glen your number 9 would be the end of the line. I might buy it happening once. But the second time. Someones bags would be packed and set by the curb.
So that might make me a M.C.P., I dont really care. If you dont have trust or respect in a relationship. Then you dont have a relationship.
[/quote]

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Message 1673305 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 7:55:23 UTC
Last modified: 3 May 2015, 8:29:25 UTC

If that was your marriage Glenn then it seems very one sided to me, but it would be impertinent of me to comment further, apart from to say that is your list. How different would her list be? It always takes two people.

The point that ES99 has been trying to make is that most men come across as MCP or sexist even if they really aren't, and not only that they simply don't realise that they are doing it. So is that men's fault? ES99's crusade is trying to point out to men what they unconsciously do and try to get them to realise it and change. Can she really be blamed for that either?

If you want a real life example of MCP's here are some some. Many many years ago a pal of mine used to go to parties with his other half and introduce her to people as "You haven't met my first wife have you?". I used to cringe, she just said, it's his poor attempt at humour in a social situation where he is maybe a bit unsure of himself with new people. I thought she was being over generous, but there you are, they seemed happily married.

Another chap went to a party and was chatting up this attractive girl, and said "Play your cards right and you can have me tonight". 25 years and two kids later she says "So I did!". Then the other chap I knew that really really was a dyed in the wool MCP. He'd go to a dance or party, pick the prettiest girl there and say "Ok, get your coat, you've pulled!". But it damn well worked on occasions as well, that was the chagrin of it.

They all thought they were simply being Jack the Lad, and in the 60's you had a chance of getting away with it, not these days thank god.
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Message 1673448 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 17:25:15 UTC


Male Chauvinist Pig
Definition and a Little History


So in answer to Glenn's question, on the face of it, he probably does not fit the definition.

However, since he has pointed out that he held the financial power in the relationship there could be case for him being a MCP if he wielded that power for control.

Assuming we take everything Glenn has told us as the whole truth, then it is unlikely he did abuse his financial power as he willingly shared the money and I assuming there were no strings attached.

So in direct answer to Glenn's question, as far as his relationship goes, it does not appear that he was an MCP, but was rather in an abusive relationship with a woman who took advantage of the laws that were put in place to protect women from abuses of financial power.

In the end though her threats may well have been empty as I have no idea if the courts would have let her "take him for everything he had".

When you marry, the reality is that the other spouse is now entitled to half of what you have. This goes both ways and there have been many cases of men taking half of a women's property and income. However, as women still earn less than men and are still more likely to give up careers to stay home and raise children, which has a lifetime effect on their earnings, there does need to be some protection under the law for them. There will always be some women who take advantage of this law. However, most women end up far worse than the men after a divorce despite any claims otherwise.
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Message 1673472 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 18:53:55 UTC

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Message 1673477 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 19:28:31 UTC

Glen, I have another one to add to the list.
My boss worked for years starting from nothing to build a business and make his wife comfortable. She would count the money in his wallet each day and give him what he could spend. She worked in the accounting area and as we grew we added help as needed. One day she said we need to talk. Turns out she was running around with the other accountant and wanted a Divorce. How did he take it? He said he owed the accountant a big favor because it freed him from his wife's controlling behavior. He also carries several hundred dollar bills all the time because he can.

I think it comes down to do as I say and not as I do.
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Message 1673618 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 21:04:40 UTC - in response to Message 1673477.  

She would count the money in his wallet each day and give him what he could spend.

I guess I was a terrible 'wife' to my ex because in the end I had to do exactly the same thing because he would spend the money instead of paying the bills and the rent. Not ideal, but I had no choice or I would have been raising his children on the streets.

It certainly is the sign of a dysfunctional relationship and I should have got out then, but I was under the mistaken idea that the children were better off with a bad father in their lives than no father at all.

Now when I hear these stories I always wonder what the truth. Anyone can claim terrible things about their exes. For example he went around telling people that I had been cheating on him even though I hadn't. He even turned up at the pub were I was having an after work drink with my work friends and accused one of them of 'f---ing' me. He also told everyone that I was bleeding him dry with child support payments even though he never paid me a penny (I estimate that he owes me about $100,000 now in unpaid child support payments).

I only even put in a claim for child support after all my best efforts to co-parent with him and share the children half time failed because he wouldn't turn up when it was his time to take them.

He justified this in his head by telling me that I could keep the apartment we had bought together (there wasn't much equity in it though). So for years I paid the mortgage on my own to keep a roof over his children's heads. However, when I wanted to take the children he never saw to Canada he refused to sign the paperwork agreeing until I agreed he could have half the equity in the apartment.

Yet to hear the heartbreaking lies he tells people about what I supposedly did to him you'd think I'd bled him dry and turned his children against him while cheating on him with every man in a 100 mile radius. Those are just some of the things he has made up about me.

So please, tell me your stories of terrible exes and I will take them all with a pinch of salt because people lie.

Your anecdotal stories are just that and if they are the whole true story, I am sorry, but I'd also be surprised.
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Message 1673649 - Posted: 3 May 2015, 22:06:11 UTC - in response to Message 1673618.  

She would count the money in his wallet each day and give him what he could spend.

I guess I was a terrible 'wife' to my ex because in the end I had to do exactly the same thing because he would spend the money instead of paying the bills and the rent. Not ideal, but I had no choice or I would have been raising his children on the streets.

It certainly is the sign of a dysfunctional relationship and I should have got out then, but I was under the mistaken idea that the children were better off with a bad father in their lives than no father at all.

Now when I hear these stories I always wonder what the truth. Anyone can claim terrible things about their exes. For example he went around telling people that I had been cheating on him even though I hadn't. He even turned up at the pub were I was having an after work drink with my work friends and accused one of them of 'f---ing' me. He also told everyone that I was bleeding him dry with child support payments even though he never paid me a penny (I estimate that he owes me about $100,000 now in unpaid child support payments).

I only even put in a claim for child support after all my best efforts to co-parent with him and share the children half time failed because he wouldn't turn up when it was his time to take them.

He justified this in his head by telling me that I could keep the apartment we had bought together (there wasn't much equity in it though). So for years I paid the mortgage on my own to keep a roof over his children's heads. However, when I wanted to take the children he never saw to Canada he refused to sign the paperwork agreeing until I agreed he could have half the equity in the apartment.

Yet to hear the heartbreaking lies he tells people about what I supposedly did to him you'd think I'd bled him dry and turned his children against him while cheating on him with every man in a 100 mile radius. Those are just some of the things he has made up about me.

So please, tell me your stories of terrible exes and I will take them all with a pinch of salt because people lie.

Your anecdotal stories are just that and if they are the whole true story, I am sorry, but I'd also be surprised.

There are a number of reasons to watch your spouse's spending and sometimes it needs to be controlled. In my bosses case, he would spend thousands of dollars at a time for the business so he wasn't careless with money. In this marriage, it was a matter of control for the wife. She didn't trust him even though he never gave her any reason to suspect he wasn't worthy of her trust.
Because I worked very close with my boss, he would sometimes tell be bits of information that he didn't tell others in the company. He trusted me because I am an honorable person and to some degree he knew I wasn't connected to the company grapevine. It was only after the breakup that he started looking around. He is the type of person that's best when he's married. He ask very little out of the marriage for himself and is graceful for what he gets out of the marriage. In case you are thinking it, I am not nor ever will be his type.

In my new job we have a guy that works for us part time and he married a woman with a child. The father of the child more or less vanished until our employe decided to adopt the child. We think it might be because our employe saved his money and bought a house giving the appearance there might be a way to get some money out of this. The good news is the the judge took look at the father, listened to the father then awarded the adoption without conditions.
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Message 1673717 - Posted: 4 May 2015, 4:58:21 UTC

I read your account ES and I would say that does and has happend here in the states also. My ex wife had a child before we married. The father never paid a dime nor even ever cared if he had a daughter. I adopted her. Had two more daughters with ex.
After I won the divorce from my ex I paid child support and stayed in their lives as best I could . They did live 1000 miles a way.
My wife now, When we met had two teenagers. Wifes dead beat ex never paid a dime for them either. Never cared about them either.

Some of us males do take the high road when it comes to our kids.
[/quote]

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Message 1673754 - Posted: 4 May 2015, 7:57:50 UTC

Isn't it the case that all peoples relationships are different, what works for one won't work for another. Some wives are better at managing the family finances and budgeting than some husbands are. They forget to pay bills or save for the holiday. Other men will drink it all away down the pub or buy un-needed gadgets. My dad always ran the finances and mum was happy to let him. He paid the mortgage and all the bills, saved for the holiday, ran the car etc, mum got the weekly housekeeping and a personal allowance for herself.

Dad held the main bank a/c himself but split it into sections all written in a little notebook. If mum wanted to know how much was saved towards the holiday she only had to look, and she could check what bills had been paid etc. Dad took out so much for his personal expenses but that was all listed too. Before anyone asks they were of the age group that just didn't have joint accounts in those days of the 40's-60's. When mum worked part time later when us kids were teenagers she has a post office account then for her own money.
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Message 1673787 - Posted: 4 May 2015, 11:18:59 UTC - in response to Message 1673448.  

However, since he has pointed out that he held the financial power in the relationship there could be case for him being a MCP if he wielded that power for control.


Realy that's a good one ESS . My ex had a good paying job no loans her own account I was not allowed to look at .

All the bill's where in my name yes so she wasn't liable and that included the mordgage .

I was left with $80 to by smokes and petrol and any thing else she spent $200 on herself and the rest was in her account which I could not access so I was the one that did not have control of my money . And where did all the money she earnd go . Well $45,000 I found out after went to her perents .then there was the holidays she had

The only thing she payed for was the marriage and $5,000 Deposit on the house and a pool which she wan'ted me to get a loan for even thou she had 12,000 in her bank account . she didn't like it when I said yeh babe if you want a pool then you will have to pay for it as I don't have any money too and it is your idea .Oh and before you jump the gun I had $20,000 for the house and had to take out a $30,000 loan

So she had control of her own money , I had no say on what she spent it on and had no finincal power at all . God forbid if I made her pay for any bills or even suggested she help out and why I was doing 16 hr shits at least 3 times a fortnight in fact I did so much overtime I was part of what was called the 200 hrs club that's 200 hrs per fortnight to pay for everything .
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Message 1673960 - Posted: 4 May 2015, 21:45:09 UTC
Last modified: 4 May 2015, 22:07:04 UTC

Wow...Glenn. I think you need some therapy (not meant in a negative way in any fashion)-you're a wee bit angry but I'll tackle these from my point of view:

>1 put your life sayings into a joint account with your partner

Nope we maintain separate accounts but she manages the money and bills are paid on time every month.

>2 have a mortgage in your name only but the deed to your house in both names

Nope both of our names are on mortgage and deed

>3 buy flowers every week for 9 1/2 years

I buy roses often because I like them but not weekly

>4 do housework , cook , clean , wash dry and hang the washing our and iron it too without your partner asking

I don't cook/do laundry (laundry is in the basement and cooking is near dangerous) but I dust n vacuum per agreement with my wife.

>5 never forget valentines day , the day you meet , got engaged , and married without your partner reminding you

I *never* forget these days ever.

>6 allow your partner to have 2 weeks holiday without you and never ask where what or who she meet

This would never happen with us.

>7 go out of your way several times a yer to plan book and have a romantic night at a 7 star hotel in your major city followed buy a a meal at the best restaurants in town follow'd buy a 20 min ferry trip to the Manly where on disembarking you would take a slow walk along the beach promenade follow'd buy anther 20 min trip back on the ferry to the hotel where in the morning you have a champagne breakfast and most importantly you can never do this just on Valentines day .

Sounds awesome if it was reasonable for my wheelchair but I don't travel well so we drive where we want to go.

>8 put up with constant threats of "i'll send you bankrupt if you leave me " and then being introduced and reminded of how your partner has a Aunt that was married with 3 kids and got divorced but after about 10 years they got back together and remarried , and constantly told that her song was Meat Loaf's 2 out of 3 an't bad

If she did this I'd try therapy-if it didn't work, we'd be done

>9 allow your partner to go out clubbing on a regular basis (once a week at least) while your at work and come home at any time which was usually around 4 am even thou the clubs and pubs closed at 1 am leaving only the single pick up joints open and never ask what where or whom she meet

You need therapy

>10 after a separation sit down and right a list of good things and bad things in the relationship and you put on that list that after everything your partner changes her mind about having a family and breaks her marrige vows so you decide no family no marriage

I see nowhere here where couples therapy is mentioned (separation sit down?)...if she made her choice, then so be it if you're not willing to try therapy.

Yes I am an advocate of therapy which I think you should get some at some point soon to put your heart at peace.


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Message 1673982 - Posted: 4 May 2015, 23:08:58 UTC - in response to Message 1673960.  

Wow...Glenn. I think you need some therapy (not meant in a negative way in any fashion)-you're a wee bit angry but I'll tackle these from my point of view:

>1 put your life sayings into a joint account with your partner

Nope we maintain separate accounts but she manages the money and bills are paid on time every month.

>2 have a mortgage in your name only but the deed to your house in both names

Nope both of our names are on mortgage and deed

>3 buy flowers every week for 9 1/2 years

I buy roses often because I like them but not weekly

>4 do housework , cook , clean , wash dry and hang the washing our and iron it too without your partner asking

I don't cook/do laundry (laundry is in the basement and cooking is near dangerous) but I dust n vacuum per agreement with my wife.

>5 never forget valentines day , the day you meet , got engaged , and married without your partner reminding you

I *never* forget these days ever.

>6 allow your partner to have 2 weeks holiday without you and never ask where what or who she meet

This would never happen with us.

>7 go out of your way several times a yer to plan book and have a romantic night at a 7 star hotel in your major city followed buy a a meal at the best restaurants in town follow'd buy a 20 min ferry trip to the Manly where on disembarking you would take a slow walk along the beach promenade follow'd buy anther 20 min trip back on the ferry to the hotel where in the morning you have a champagne breakfast and most importantly you can never do this just on Valentines day .

Sounds awesome if it was reasonable for my wheelchair but I don't travel well so we drive where we want to go.

>8 put up with constant threats of "i'll send you bankrupt if you leave me " and then being introduced and reminded of how your partner has a Aunt that was married with 3 kids and got divorced but after about 10 years they got back together and remarried , and constantly told that her song was Meat Loaf's 2 out of 3 an't bad

If she did this I'd try therapy-if it didn't work, we'd be done

>9 allow your partner to go out clubbing on a regular basis (once a week at least) while your at work and come home at any time which was usually around 4 am even thou the clubs and pubs closed at 1 am leaving only the single pick up joints open and never ask what where or whom she meet

You need therapy

>10 after a separation sit down and right a list of good things and bad things in the relationship and you put on that list that after everything your partner changes her mind about having a family and breaks her marrige vows so you decide no family no marriage

I see nowhere here where couples therapy is mentioned (separation sit down?)...if she made her choice, then so be it if you're not willing to try therapy.

Yes I am an advocate of therapy which I think you should get some at some point soon to put your heart at peace.

Good advice. It does sound like Glenn's relationship was abusive and the best way to move on and to figure out how he got into such a bad relationship in the first place is to get some therapy.

Talking of therapy, this thread has inspired me to try again to get child support out of my ex. I have now filled in all the paperwork again and look forward to watching him hide behind his new wife and avoid getting served.

If by some miracle I actually get any of the money I'm owed I'll make a small donation to seti in his honour.
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Message 1673997 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 0:55:41 UTC - in response to Message 1673982.  

If by some miracle I actually get any of the money I'm owed I'll make a small donation to seti in his honour.

Donation are appreciated but your family comes first.
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Message 1673999 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 1:03:50 UTC - in response to Message 1673997.  

If by some miracle I actually get any of the money I'm owed I'll make a small donation to seti in his honour.

Donation are appreciated but your family comes first.


I'll 2nd Dena's thought.

Hopefully you can get some (or all?) of what you're rightfully owed.


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Message 1674021 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 3:38:07 UTC
Last modified: 5 May 2015, 3:38:32 UTC

Good advice. It does sound like Glenn's relationship was abusive and the best way to move on and to figure out how he got into such a bad relationship in the first place is to get some therapy.

Talking of therapy, this thread has inspired me to try again to get child support out of my ex. I have now filled in all the paperwork again and look forward to watching him hide behind his new wife and avoid getting served.

If by some miracle I actually get any of the money I'm owed I'll make a small donation to seti in his honour

Don't know anything regarding Child Support Laws of Canada.

A Father Needs/Must/Has To, support his children.

Good luck.
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Message 1674185 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 16:22:55 UTC - in response to Message 1673997.  

If by some miracle I actually get any of the money I'm owed I'll make a small donation to seti in his honour.

Donation are appreciated but your family comes first.

If I ever see any of this, my boys will have grown up with the support of their stepfather who has done more for them than their own father ever did. The time when the money would have made a real difference to them has passed.

If I did get any money I'd put most of it aside for college funds. I just looked at the original court order and to date he actually owes me $62,310.

However, the amount is moot as I won't see a penny. He never understood that it wasn't the amount, it was just some recognition that he bears some responsibility for taking care of his children. I would have settled for him buying them a pair of shoes every now and then.

Still, child support debt never goes away, so you never know...
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Message 1674209 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 21:37:26 UTC - in response to Message 1674185.  

Still, child support debt never goes away, so you never know...

No it doesn't and on this side of the border they will garnish you until you are pushing up daisies or pay it off.
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Message 1674213 - Posted: 5 May 2015, 21:52:08 UTC - in response to Message 1674209.  

Still, child support debt never goes away, so you never know...

No it doesn't and on this side of the border they will garnish you until you are pushing up daisies or pay it off.


Unless the scumbag hides their money which I'm seeing in a family friend's divorce situation.


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