But as Chris points out, if you reasonably could or should have known, when the condition presents itself, fraud can be alleged, and the contracts terminated, leaving one without job, home, or life insurance when it is most needed.

That's what I think. We have a friend who works for Scotland yard as a fingerprint man and he knows of at least two people he's had to fingerprint in the last year when their employers went beyond cancelling contracts, and prosecuted them for fraud for failing to disclose medical conditions on their job applications :(

My son doesn't lie, not even teeny weeny white ones :( I'm not fooling myself. His autism has made him that way. I know this is going to sound weird, but ever since his primary school teachers abused that knowledge and used him as their "grass" in class (then left him unprotected from the consequences in the playground) I've spent years trying to teach him how. He just can't do it beyond saying the words then immediately confessing they're not true, so from the moment he knew he might have PKD he was in this situation anyway, but I can't get his dad to see it :(

In eight weeks we might find out he hasn't got it... And if that isn't to be, it's not the end of the world... it's just bigger battles I'll help him prepare for that's all.

Thank you for being so supportive everyone :) Your voices in my ears are keeping me the right side of sane :)

Thank you for being so supportive everyone :) Your voices in my ears are keeping me the right side of sane :)

I have something written down for my mom that says, "Everything is going to be ok". I wrote it, and signed it, and when she looks at it, it calms her. It's simple, but it works. :~)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Not trying to polute this thread with Music, but it sums up how I felt coming out of my deep depression.

Music helps so here is Gloria
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNDl41HfvxI

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Pluto will always be a planet to me.

Seti Ambassador
Not to late to order an Anni Shirt

My best, to you and your son, Annie.

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Not trying to polute this thread with Music, but it sums up how I felt coming out of my deep depression.

Music helps so here is Gloria
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNDl41HfvxI

This song also helped me a lot Uli:)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

It goes without saying, that writing (pick your forte) is, also, very therapeutic.

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Decided to go on a health kick :) Might brush up a little on safety too given my recent entanglement and berk certification :) Hoping to gift part of me and want it to be in the best state possible when I do :) Would like to gift more than one but it's not allowed unfortunately :/ Last ten days have not been too brilliant :( Genetic test wasn't good news. Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement since my last posts here, and for all your lovely posts elsewhere since, that have kept me smiling. Now I wait to find out how good a match I am - and which one of my children I might be able to help before I pop my clogs... when hopefully I will be able to help the other one too :) ... as long as I do it an orderly manner and not as a splat :/

Good luck Annie and good luck to all sane people all across the USA, We're going to need it...

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The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

I know that sometime there is nobody around to physically touch. Just when you need it the most. So this is the best a person can do at those times. This goes out to those who need one.

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Annie. I wish you well, And know that you will press on.
Thats why we are here. For you.

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[/quote]

Old James

Best wishes for Annie :)

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Thanks Lynn :) and Vic :) and Admiral Glover :) and James :) and Chris :) and everyone else too :) You're all lovely and I'm so grateful to you.

Cute picture Admiral :) thank you and yes... we all need a hug and don't always have someone near to hand... not so on seti though. SO! Everyone ready to hug their monitors? 5... ooops... where did that come from? Sorry, was supposed to be a 3... okay start again... 3... 2... 1... GROUP HUGGY!! :)

Much better now :)

@Chris... certificate is so cooooooooooooool :)))) and runner up sounds so much better than hop-along :)))) Thank you :)

So, do any of you experienced in care-giving to a family member ever get frustrated with people who just don't "get" it? I have encountered a lot of people who just look basically puzzled when I explain to them I'm taking care of my mother, and I will do everything in my power to keep her out of an assisted living facility. I always knew I would do what I'm doing if I needed to, but I think a lot of people are just so in their own little worlds, they can't fathom anything else. People say they want me to take care of myself, and sure, I do too, but they don't understand that part of taking care of myself is taking care of my mother.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Maybe they don't understand the taking care or the one's that took care of you idea.

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Maybe they don't understand the taking care of the one's that took care of you idea.

Didn't have much time and made a short post earlier.
Taking care of the one's that mean the most. Doing what you can as long as you can. Just giving back to your parents the care they gave you. It can be a powerful "peace of mind" knowing that they are being taken care of in their later years.

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I so far have never been a care giver to a parent. My mom had to take of my dad in the last stages of parkinsons. But us kids were there for her to help out. I was a temporary care giver to my wife on 3 occasions.
She fell and broke her hip. That was 5 months of healing. Then a year later the rod they had in her thigh bone broke. So a few more months there. Then two years later she falls in the kitchen breaking her pelvis and shattering her left shoulder so bad they had to put a shoulder joint relacement in. She had bone fragments in her muscle tissue. I cant remember how many moths that was.
I love my wife very much, But caring for her got to be a pain. I still had to work. Plus do the chores that she normany did in addition to my own. And take care of her.
Thank goodness I had family that stepped in to take some of the burden off me. And my wifes girlfriend next door. She did a lot to help out.
Would I want to relive that whole thing over again. Hell No. But I do not regret doing it for one minute. I think they call that love.
So Gordan, Dont care what other people say. You have to do it your own way.

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[/quote]

Old James

Best wishes for Annie :)

+1!:)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

So, do any of you experienced in care-giving to a family member ever get frustrated with people who just don't "get" it? I have encountered a lot of people who just look basically puzzled when I explain to them I'm taking care of my mother, and I will do everything in my power to keep her out of an assisted living facility. I always knew I would do what I'm doing if I needed to, but I think a lot of people are just so in their own little worlds, they can't fathom anything else. People say they want me to take care of myself, and sure, I do too, but they don't understand that part of taking care of myself is taking care of my mother.

People who know me would probably trip over their jaws with shock if I wasn't doing some kind of caring for someone else. The ones who don't know me well, look at me like I've dropped-in (partially - or mostly - deranged) from another planet... to the extent I've been tempted to emit regular, quiet "beeps" throughout the time I am listening to them volubly inform me (midst near shudders :/ I kid you not) how they "could NEVER do that" with an undertone suggesting that there must be something wrong with me because I can.

With regards assuming a caring role for a mother, or another elderly relative - the puzzlement seems most profuse amongst many of a "western" mindset. Other cultures and regions of the world tend not to park their elders and former care-givers into "facilities" and are pleasantly surprised when we buck the trend, no more. So don't you worry Gordon! :)

It takes a degree of selflessness to assume a burden of care. It also takes immense patience and a finely-tuned sense of humour :) We're not all blessed equally in that regard - so not everyone IS going to be suited to the role of carer, and when the least blessed are faced with someone who is - they may lack the tools to compute the complexity of the algorithm. That doesn't mean they might not reach a point one day when they can. Loving someone is a great teacher of the skills we need to care for them at every level :)

It's not easy as James has pointed out. There are many times when I would gladly walk into a distant sunset and not return - but getting there in the few seconds THAT feeling lasts is beyond my top speed at present :) But that can make you feel lonely at times too... being surrounded by people who at the first chink in your armour - pounce assertively that you should have done it "their way" :( instead of just listening to you vent over a cup of tea and offer the occasional practical (or not - it doesn't matter :)) suggestion.

I'm facing that next Saturday :( Because my sister will be going to live in India - the idea has been floated ("to take the burden off annie") for my mum to be put in a home. A family "summit" has been called - and I have been summonsed to appear WITHOUT her, and told that a social care assessment has been booked to "review" the care she receives with me in my home, against that which she will receive in an institution of care.

It would be a death sentence for her mind first, and then her body, at some indeterminable time later :( Her mental facilities are only where they are now because every minute of every day we fight the cruel rot that alzheimers wreaks. I'm hurt and I'm angry and over the coming days I'm going to recite to myself what you wrote here:

I will do everything in my power to keep her out of an assisted living facility. I always knew I would do what I'm doing if I needed to... part of taking care of myself is taking care of my mother.

You're a wonderful son Gordon! I completely understand your frustration. Don't let them get to you!


@Julie: thankyou :)

So, do any of you experienced in care-giving to a family member ever get frustrated with people who just don't "get" it? I have encountered a lot of people who just look basically puzzled when I explain to them I'm taking care of my mother, and I will do everything in my power to keep her out of an assisted living facility. I always knew I would do what I'm doing if I needed to, but I think a lot of people are just so in their own little worlds, they can't fathom anything else. People say they want me to take care of myself, and sure, I do too, but they don't understand that part of taking care of myself is taking care of my mother.

People who know me would probably trip over their jaws with shock if I wasn't doing some kind of caring for someone else. The ones who don't know me well, look at me like I've dropped-in (partially - or mostly - deranged) from another planet... to the extent I've been tempted to emit regular, quiet "beeps" throughout the time I am listening to them volubly inform me (midst near shudders :/ I kid you not) how they "could NEVER do that" with an undertone suggesting that there must be something wrong with me because I can.

With regards assuming a caring role for a mother, or another elderly relative - the puzzlement seems most profuse amongst many of a "western" mindset. Other cultures and regions of the world tend not to park their elders and former care-givers into "facilities" and are pleasantly surprised when we buck the trend, no more. So don't you worry Gordon! :)

It takes a degree of selflessness to assume a burden of care. It also takes immense patience and a finely-tuned sense of humour :) We're not all blessed equally in that regard - so not everyone IS going to be suited to the role of carer, and when the least blessed are faced with someone who is - they may lack the tools to compute the complexity of the algorithm. That doesn't mean they might not reach a point one day when they can. Loving someone is a great teacher of the skills we need to care for them at every level :)

It's not easy as James has pointed out. There are many times when I would gladly walk into a distant sunset and not return - but getting there in the few seconds THAT feeling lasts is beyond my top speed at present :) But that can make you feel lonely at times too... being surrounded by people who at the first chink in your armour - pounce assertively that you should have done it "their way" :( instead of just listening to you vent over a cup of tea and offer the occasional practical (or not - it doesn't matter :)) suggestion.

I'm facing that next Saturday :( Because my sister will be going to live in India - the idea has been floated ("to take the burden off annie") for my mum to be put in a home. A family "summit" has been called - and I have been summonsed to appear WITHOUT her, and told that a social care assessment has been booked to "review" the care she receives with me in my home, against that which she will receive in an institution of care.

It would be a death sentence for her mind first, and then her body, at some indeterminable time later :( Her mental facilities are only where they are now because every minute of every day we fight the cruel rot that alzheimers wreaks. I'm hurt and I'm angry and over the coming days I'm going to recite to myself what you wrote here:

I will do everything in my power to keep her out of an assisted living facility. I always knew I would do what I'm doing if I needed to... part of taking care of myself is taking care of my mother.

You're a wonderful son Gordon! I completely understand your frustration. Don't let them get to you!


@Julie: thankyou :)

Thank You Annie:)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

I Hated My Mom and Dad. Glad my Younger Brother saw Them to Their Deaths.

Their Deaths were Not Pleasant. GOoD. Neither was Being Their Child.

Maybe Dr. HOHUM should be Looking Down at Them and Not Up.

HOHUM. Beating The Death Rattling DRum DRum.


' '

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May we All have a METAMORPHOSIS. REASON. GOoD JUDGEMENT and LOVE and ORDER!!!!!