But you mustn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't possibly have been in a position to have done anything about Julie. This is why it is so important to leave ones wishes in good time with people that you trust will carry them out.

Thank you Chris. I think that making a last will, no matter what age you are, is always a good idea.

I made My own "last will".

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The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

But you mustn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't possibly have been in a position to have done anything about Julie. This is why it is so important to leave ones wishes in good time with people that you trust will carry them out.

Thank you Chris. I think that making a last will, no matter what age you are, is always a good idea.

I made My own "last will".

I haven't yet but I made so many notes already, if people find them, they will know exactly what went on inside my head.

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Well, I have posted many notes here on Seti.....
Some most convoluted.
The most important is that the kitties are taken care of.

Nothing else matters much.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

But you mustn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't possibly have been in a position to have done anything about Julie. This is why it is so important to leave ones wishes in good time with people that you trust will carry them out.

Thank you Chris. I think that making a last will, no matter what age you are, is always a good idea.

I made My own "last will".

I haven't yet but I made so many notes already, if people find them, they will know exactly what went on inside my head.

A lawyer really should be used to make things "official". I know some people don't like lawyers, but my dad was an attorney, so I have no problem with them. ;~)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

But you mustn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't possibly have been in a position to have done anything about Julie. This is why it is so important to leave ones wishes in good time with people that you trust will carry them out.

Thank you Chris. I think that making a last will, no matter what age you are, is always a good idea.

I made My own "last will".

I haven't yet but I made so many notes already, if people find them, they will know exactly what went on inside my head.

A lawyer really should be used to make things "official". I know some people don't like lawyers, but my dad was an attorney, so I have no problem with them. ;~)

Good idea. Uli once advised me to trademark my poetry. Still have to look into that.

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

But you mustn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't possibly have been in a position to have done anything about Julie. This is why it is so important to leave ones wishes in good time with people that you trust will carry them out.

Thank you Chris. I think that making a last will, no matter what age you are, is always a good idea.

I made My own "last will".

I haven't yet but I made so many notes already, if people find them, they will know exactly what went on inside my head.

A lawyer really should be used to make things "official". I know some people don't like lawyers, but my dad was an attorney, so I have no problem with them. ;~)

My Grandpas last will was broken cause He wrote the will on Typewriter Paper, printer paper today.

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The T1 Trust, PRR T1 Class 4-4-4-4 #5550, 1 of America's First HST's

Perhaps most important of all is to appoint an Executor of your estate, and make sure that they know what your final wishes are.

That's true, but it's part of what a Will does, and backups for the Executor/trix need to be in writing, too, and best done through an attorney.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Perhaps most important of all is to appoint an Executor of your estate, and make sure that they know what your final wishes are.

My will is known to all here.
Cats are going to be taken care of, anybody can have the rest, such as it is.

Purrball, Bandit, and Tigger II are all arranged for.

Whether you know or accept it, I can now pass with much solitude and peace, for my life has passed with many events and now what I have written has passed.

There is little more for me to say or do in this lifetime.

I have done what I set out to be done, I guess.

And, kids...........I am quite at peace with it.
And, I am sure as hell that many of YOU cannot say that.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

A lawyer really should be used to make things "official". I know some people don't like lawyers, but my dad was an attorney, so I have no problem with them. ;~)

My Grandpas last will was broken cause He wrote the will on Typewriter Paper, printer paper today.

ANY will can be "broken" if the Executor and Heirs are all in agreement that that is what they want to do..

A will written without a Lawyer can stand up in court if properly witnessed and Notarized. There are Do-It-Yourself kits available on the Web (NoLo Press is a reputable site).

If you own property, have investments, or artwork, or children, or have special bequests, you should work with a reputable attorney. And as has been said, pick Executors/Trustees that you trust to carry out your wishes.

But the important thing is to PUT IT IN WRITING, and make sure that your heirs know what you want and where the pertinent documents are.

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

where the pertinent documents are

A bank box is a really good idea.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

where the pertinent documents are

A bank box is a really good idea.

Just make sure your Executor has access to it. Some banks are very hard-nosed about access by folks not on the title card, without a Court Order.

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

where the pertinent documents are

A bank box is a really good idea.

Just make sure your Executor has access to it. Some banks are very hard-nosed about access by folks not on the title card, without a Court Order.

Yes, that is very true, and if a lawyer is used, a copy of the Will should be in the office files.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I do believe, That it was I who started this side discussion of what the final wishes were.
I wish it to continue.
My opinion is that should also be considerd as PTSD.

I know first hand as some of you also do. That some things cant, Wont, Or be written down for what ever reason.
And it can and or does leave baggage for us survivors.

So in my opinion, I think we should include any discussions of wills or last testaments, And how we feel about them as open for this thread.

But I will leave this up to all of you to decide on. As allways, This is your thread also.

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[/quote]

Old James

This could probably be the start of a whole other thread on Alzheimer's and Dementia, but what has puzzled me ever since my mother's hospitalization and return home is her pronoun usage. She insists on using the plural "We", and "They", rather than referring to herself as "I", or me, as "You"(We is herself, and they/them is me). I have worried that she has multiple personality disorder or thinks she's still in the hospital when she refers to "them", but after some time to get used to her new idiom, I think it's just her way of expressing herself nowadays. It's just weird.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

This could probably be the start of a whole other thread on Alzheimer's and Dementia, but what has puzzled me ever since my mother's hospitalization and return home is her pronoun usage. She insists on using the plural "We", and "They", rather than referring to herself as "I", or me, as "You"(We is herself, and they/them is me). I have worried that she has multiple personality disorder or thinks she's still in the hospital when she refers to "them", but after some time to get used to her new idiom, I think it's just her way of expressing herself nowadays. It's just weird.

I think you're right with the latter :) My mum has always suffered with paranoia, and unfortunately her alzheimers has just made that part of her personality much worse. I can say the same too about her passive-aggressive ways when dealing with people, unfortunately.

Much of what my mum comes out with now, comprise disjointed memories which I think are visually strong in her mind, but increasingly feature what I can only describe as pockets of fog, so her brain fills the gap with a different "actor". So for example, a little boy said something funny to her in the post office five years ago (I was there so I know the source of the memory) became my brother who died when he was six. I made the mistake once of correcting her, but will never do so again :)

You may not be that far wrong though in using the term multiple personality (just drop the disorder) :) As memories lose their flow/connections and become more like islands rearing up out of a foggy sea - the one person who once had total recall - becomes the many who remember fragments (thus we). You are her constant "they" - because you're always there for her :) but sometimes you're not her son, you're your dad, or even her dad... maybe?

What you all have in common is that you are the people who loved/love and who cared/care for her. :)

Much of what my mum comes out with now, comprise disjointed memories which I think are visually strong in her mind, but increasingly feature what I can only describe as pockets of fog, so her brain fills the gap with a different "actor".

As memories lose their flow/connections and become more like islands rearing up out of a foggy sea - the one person who once had total recall - becomes the many who remember fragments (thus we). You are her constant "they" - because you're always there for her :) but sometimes you're not her son, you're your dad, or even her dad... maybe?

Very thoughtful and well said, Annie. Yes, she often calls out "mother", and when I come to her, she did indeed mean me, but she was extremely close to her mother, and it's natural under the circumstances for her to call out that name. My daddy died in '82, but she often calls me "Bob", his name, or talks to me about me, as if I'm not me. I'm glad to be associated with good people in her collective, "they". :~)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Just wanted to share something pertinent to what I've been talking about regarding my mother's "reality". I received this today from a friend in an email about the situation:

...but know there is nothing wrong with going along with her reality; I think you will find that to be helpful. Because the truth is, if she tastes the word help or hears the color blue you can accept it to be her reality. Likewise if she feels that her mother is alive and that is real to her, no doubt bringing her comfort, there isn't any point trying to get her to see it otherwise. Maybe she is still alive and YOU are the one living in a parallel universe. You can't prove that your not ;)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Just wanted to share something pertinent to what I've been talking about regarding my mother's "reality". I received this today from a friend in an email about the situation:

...but know there is nothing wrong with going along with her reality; I think you will find that to be helpful. Because the truth is, if she tastes the word help or hears the color blue you can accept it to be her reality. Likewise if she feels that her mother is alive and that is real to her, no doubt bringing her comfort, there isn't any point trying to get her to see it otherwise. Maybe she is still alive and YOU are the one living in a parallel universe. You can't prove that your not ;)

Yes, it is much easier, and less disruptive, to just roll with it, than to try and correct her, and start a fight. Although, when my mother woke up at 0200 on a Sunday morning and was frantic that she had to get dressed and get to school, it took a long time to calm her down, convince her it was Sunday and there was no school that day, and get her back to bed.....

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

Good luck Annie and good luck to all sane people all across the USA, We're going to need it...

+1

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Just wanted to share something pertinent to what I've been talking about regarding my mother's "reality". I received this today from a friend in an email about the situation:

...but know there is nothing wrong with going along with her reality; I think you will find that to be helpful. Because the truth is, if she tastes the word help or hears the color blue you can accept it to be her reality. Likewise if she feels that her mother is alive and that is real to her, no doubt bringing her comfort, there isn't any point trying to get her to see it otherwise. Maybe she is still alive and YOU are the one living in a parallel universe. You can't prove that your not ;)

There is a condition called synthesesasia (or some thing like that)where people do see mumbers as colors, Or taste colours. Or smell words.
I read about in a Smitsonian magazine many years ago. Most people are born with it and take it for granted other humans are the same way. Scients think is a crosswired brain delivering sensations to what isnt supposed to get them.
Maybe in an older person, That could be the brains wireing is either breaking down or just rewireing itself?

My wifes stepfather has early stage alhzhiemers.

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[/quote]

Old James