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Profile James Sotherden
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Message 1548235 - Posted: 27 Jul 2014, 0:47:50 UTC

Its time for the second installment of the PTSD thread.
If any of you are new to this thread I ask that you read,First PTSD ThreadYou will gain some insight as to what we are here for.

As allways no one is forced to post. And if you do post, Only post what you feel comfortable posting.

To those who have posted, I thank you and your fellow PTSD friends thank you.
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Message 1548592 - Posted: 27 Jul 2014, 19:05:38 UTC

Thank you for the new thread James:)
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Message 1548639 - Posted: 27 Jul 2014, 21:01:31 UTC - in response to Message 1548592.

Thank you for the new thread James:)


+ 100 :)

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Message 1548924 - Posted: 28 Jul 2014, 12:36:49 UTC - in response to Message 1548639.

Thank you for the new thread James:)


+ 100 :)

+200 :)

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Message 1550183 - Posted: 30 Jul 2014, 22:25:11 UTC

This post may be a bit off topic for the thread but I feel some of the members of this thread might benefit from the information I have. Forty years ago I had been living with a personal condition for over 10 years. The pressure of living with it had built to the point where I made a decision. I was inches from turning the lights out permanently when a thought crossed my mind that I hadn't attempted a medical solution to my problem and it might be a good idea to see what the doctors could offer. If the doctors didn't work, I could always come back and finish the job. Eight years, a pile of money, three doctors and several mistakes later, I had put my problems behind me and went on to live a happy life. The condition for which I was treated will remain unnamed because even today it stirs emotions that don't belong on this thread or board. I am comfortable talking about it, but this isn't the place to do it. My goal is to show others how to work medical care to obtain the best results at the lowest cost, something I could have used 40 years ago.

The symptoms you are having may lead to a self diagnosis. This is a good thing if it gets you in the office door however let the doctor do a full work up and come to his own conclusion. Many people don't understand that what you are feeling could indicate you have another condition that you are unaware of. While rare, it is possible to have two conditions that require treatment at the same time and only a doctor who can view you at a distance will be able to sort this out. In the last few weeks, I made email contact with a person only to discover an untreated 40 year old schizophrenic. This person has had the condition between 20 and 30 years and the only reason I was able to pick up on it was because of a very distant relative who is famous and has the same condition. While not common, the link I am providing describes some of the other conditions that are possible and why a good work up is required to rule them out.

The first rule is you can fire your doctor. I had to do it to my first two doctors. The first doctor early in treatment admitted he didn't have the skills to deal with my problem and he didn't know of any doctors locally who could treat me. When I was ready, he helped me locate a doctor that had treated my condition but the problem was I needed to move 400 miles because I would require weekly therapy sessions and I couldn't afford air travel once a week.

My second doctor had treated others like me but my sessions amounted to sitting there telling him what was on my mind and getting next to nothing back from the doctor. I knew I needed a treatment where the doctor would provide some guidance. I already knew a good deal about my condition from personal research but not enough to treat myself. I was paying him the big bucks to get me around my road blocks and wasn't getting the help I needed.

The third doctor was something I never expected. I discovered him by accident through another patient. After my first meeting took two weeks to sort it out my brain and while I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, I knew this was where I need to be. I spent three years with this doctor and the program I was in had a followup period associated with it. I think for me the followup period was my way of giving back to other who were dealing with the same issues.

If you feel you aren't benefiting from your treatment, talk to your doctor about it. It can take time to work through a problem and your doctor should educate you on what to expect from treatment. While costly, you can have more than one doctor at a time. By this I mean, you may want to look for/talk to another doctor while you are still seeing the first. That leaves the option open for you to return to your first doctor if you are unable to find anything better.

Beside not getting what you need from the doctor, you may also feel uncomfortable with the doctor. For you to get the most from a doctor, you need to tell him your deepest secrets and to do that, you must trust the doctor.

Next, there are different forms of treatment and you need to pick one you are comfortable with and one that is able to treat your issues. With the internet, you can do a little research to find what has worked for others and why. Just remember that everybody is different and as you learn more about yourself, you may need to change your game plan.

The most common type of help talked about is a psychiatrist. In simple terms, a psychiatrist would say, you have a problem and I am going to cure it. Should your treatment require drugs to aid your recover, this would be the person to see. My first two doctors were psychiatrists and neither was big on feed back so mostly what you would do in a session is to talk out your problem.

The next type of treatment would come from a psychologist. This type of treatment can best be described as you have a problem, thats tough, live with it. In life, people have many problems that will always be a part of their life and can't be eliminated by any amount of talking. The solution to that type of problem is to diminish it and put it in its place where the memories remain but the pain is gone. In this type of treatment drugs aren't normally used but that's not saying they are never used.

The last type of treatment is group therapy. You have seen some of the benefits of this type of treatment on this thread, but in a professional environment the group has a psychologist leading the conversation where it needs to go. Groups can consist of people with different problems but I found that a group of people dealing with the same issue was very effect. In such a group, everybody talks and listens with the psychologist taking control as needed. This provides a mirror to your problems and by have others farther along in treatment than you are, you receive obtainable goals. Sharing stories makes you realize you aren't alone and you learn how others have been able to gain control over their problem.

Another advantage to a group is cost. Most of the time you don't have an hours worth of things to talk about. The price you pay for a group reflects this by charging a fraction of what you would pay in private session. Should you decide you do need a private session, you can see the doctor in private at additional cost.

I don't know how it works today, but I was treated in the pre internet days and this was our only option to meet with others like us. After the meeting room was closed, we had an informal meeting. This could take place in the parking lot as many did or sometimes, as the meetings were late, we would go out for dinner together. I often thought we transacted as much business after the meeting as we did during the meeting.

My psychologist maintained contact with two other psychiatrists. The reason was two fold. Sometimes he had a patient that required the type of treatment that a psychiatrist could offer and other times the psychiatrists were needed as part of the evaluation process. It never hurts to ask a doctor what other resources they have to draw from should they be needed. A doctor who maintains professional contacts is more likely to hand you off if you can get better care elsewhere.

Now there are many places to look for a doctor that can treat your condition so don't stop looking when you find the first doctor. If your issue is service related, the VA or veteran groups/web sites may be a resource. Others source include your personal doctor, local hospitals, professional doctor groups and local medical schools. Remember you are an employer and you want to find the best person for the job and like any employer, the bigger the pool you have to draw from, the better you selection will be.

In closing, if you have emotions that are interfering with your life and happiness,there are treatments available that can help you. They do take time and for a while may dredge up a good deal of pain but the results will be worth it. If somebody has a question they wish to ask of me but don't wish to ask in public, feel free to PM me. I may not have the answer but I might know where to look and will be happy to help you if I can. As long as it's not illegal/causes harm to others, your privacy will be respected. It was an almost 20 year journey for me to find happiness and if I can help one other person, it will be worth it.
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Message 1550284 - Posted: 31 Jul 2014, 2:10:17 UTC - in response to Message 1550183.

Remember you are an employer and you want to find the best person for the job and like any employer, the bigger the pool you have to draw from, the better you selection will be


People told me that when my mother was in various hospitals. They wanted me to know I didn't have to stick with a certain doctor or hospital just because that's where my mom was at the time. I'm glad you reiterated that point here. I was in a traumatic situation with my mom, scared to death, and feeling very weak, which made me just hope and trust things were being done the best way possible.
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Message 1550295 - Posted: 31 Jul 2014, 2:53:00 UTC - in response to Message 1550183.

Dena -- It appears, that you've managed to more than cope with your condition.
As with, perhaps, other threads, I've recommended investigating/joining
NAMI, probably the largest mental-health organization in the country.

It gives very good support, of all kinds.

Good luck,
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Message 1550304 - Posted: 31 Jul 2014, 3:53:45 UTC - in response to Message 1550295.

Dena -- It appears, that you've managed to more than cope with your condition.
As with, perhaps, other threads, I've recommended investigating/joining
NAMI, probably the largest mental-health organization in the country.

It gives very good support, of all kinds.

Good luck,


I will have to look into NAMI and learn more about it. I am a bit committed right now but that may not always be true. People with my condition don't alway have a good out come and I figure about 1 in 20 have serious problems. While I haven't though much about mental health in about 32 years, some news items made me aware that I have the knowledge that will help others avoid a bad outcome. I have a much larger document I am working on for people with my condition and this is some of the information it contains in a more general form. I was luck and found some of the best care available and I would like that to happen to everybody regardless of the condition they suffer from.
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Message 1550371 - Posted: 31 Jul 2014, 6:58:26 UTC

Dena,You are not even close to being off topic. You have shared some very helpfull insights and observations. Thank you for posting.
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Message 1550469 - Posted: 31 Jul 2014, 13:18:40 UTC - in response to Message 1550371.
Last modified: 31 Jul 2014, 13:20:42 UTC

Dena,You are not even close to being off topic. You have shared some very helpfull insights and observations. Thank you for posting.


+ 1000 :)

I think we're often intimidated a little by the medical profession. I know I can be, and often allow myself to be bundled out the door with my wits scattered to the four winds. (Julie has recently suffered that, from someone who should have KNOWN better, although it was worse because there wasn't even a DOOR involved... just a voicemail!!!! :( scuse me - I have to do some prolonged glaring... ... ... and now I have to apologise to Julie for suggesting she may suffer from scattered wits... :))

I think your advice, Dena, is a good benchmark for the minimum standard we should be able to expect, no matter WHAT problem we have gone to them with. Thank you for putting it on the table for us to learn from! :)

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Message 1550809 - Posted: 1 Aug 2014, 5:57:58 UTC - in response to Message 1550469.

Dena,You are not even close to being off topic. You have shared some very helpfull insights and observations. Thank you for posting.


+ 1000 :)

I think we're often intimidated a little by the medical profession. I know I can be, and often allow myself to be bundled out the door with my wits scattered to the four winds. (Julie has recently suffered that, from someone who should have KNOWN better, although it was worse because there wasn't even a DOOR involved... just a voicemail!!!! :( scuse me - I have to do some prolonged glaring... ... ... and now I have to apologise to Julie for suggesting she may suffer from scattered wits... :))

I think your advice, Dena, is a good benchmark for the minimum standard we should be able to expect, no matter WHAT problem we have gone to them with. Thank you for putting it on the table for us to learn from! :)



+2000 :)
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Message 1550835 - Posted: 1 Aug 2014, 6:46:23 UTC

I think that both Julie and Dena (and others) have been very brave in posting what they have done here about things, which are by their nature very personal problems. And to do it in the hope that it will help others says a lot about both of them.

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Message 1551166 - Posted: 1 Aug 2014, 23:47:30 UTC - in response to Message 1550835.

I think that both Julie and Dena (and others) have been very brave in posting what they have done here about things, which are by their nature very personal problems. And to do it in the hope that it will help others says a lot about both of them.

I lost my fear and pain over 32 years ago. What remains is the memories and the desire to help others avoid if possible or at least diminish the pain they have to face. My motives are a bit on the selfish side because I enjoy the feeling I get when helping some one in need. It only cost time but I gain so much more.
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Message 1553862 - Posted: 8 Aug 2014, 20:51:26 UTC - in response to Message 1551166.

I think that both Julie and Dena (and others) have been very brave in posting what they have done here about things, which are by their nature very personal problems. And to do it in the hope that it will help others says a lot about both of them.

I lost my fear and pain over 32 years ago. What remains is the memories and the desire to help others avoid if possible or at least diminish the pain they have to face. My motives are a bit on the selfish side because I enjoy the feeling I get when helping some one in need. It only cost time but I gain so much more.


That's exactly how I feel Dena!
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Message 1554159 - Posted: 9 Aug 2014, 6:40:22 UTC
Last modified: 9 Aug 2014, 6:40:58 UTC

Mark everyone has pain from the past or in the present, And all will have some pain in the future. And there is nothing wrong with saying you havent dealt with it very well. Sometimes I havent dealt well with what has happend to me in the past. Im sure others in here can say the same thing.

You can never forget what has happend. And I dont think its a good idea to even try that route. But you can choose to move on.Is it easy? HELL NO!

For me, I hate hearing about kids dying in a house fire. I found a 5 year old girl in a fire. She was the same age as my youngest daughter at the time. That was in 1982.

Its still an image that haunts me. But I had to decide that I cant let it take over my life.

And that was the hardest part.
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Message 1554181 - Posted: 9 Aug 2014, 7:37:36 UTC - in response to Message 1554159.

Mark everyone has pain from the past or in the present, And all will have some pain in the future. And there is nothing wrong with saying you havent dealt with it very well. Sometimes I havent dealt well with what has happend to me in the past. Im sure others in here can say the same thing.

You can never forget what has happend. And I dont think its a good idea to even try that route. But you can choose to move on.Is it easy? HELL NO!

For me, I hate hearing about kids dying in a house fire. I found a 5 year old girl in a fire. She was the same age as my youngest daughter at the time. That was in 1982.

Its still an image that haunts me. But I had to decide that I cant let it take over my life.

And that was the hardest part.


I totally agree James.
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Message 1554184 - Posted: 9 Aug 2014, 7:47:16 UTC

Mike, Rosie, Roy and I, will always miss the children lost.
I had to watch my son die. Why because I, we where too young.
I have learned since then. Cookirtaster is my Jewel.
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Message 1554264 - Posted: 9 Aug 2014, 14:14:13 UTC

If an event in your life has caused you so much pain, you aren't able to function or if a year or more after such an event you are not getting better, you need to seek professional help. It's not a sign of weakness that you have encountered a problem in your life that you are unable to resolve. I have been through the deaths of my father, brother and roommate. Something like that can take the better part of a year to fade into the past. I had family and others for support, to keep me moving in that year but some people don't.
You can't judge yourself by others because some people are able to get quite old before they have the first major event in their life. People handle pain differently and just because someone else was able to handle the pain is no reason why you should be able to handle it in the same way. Take an honest look at your life and if you do need help, there is no reason to delay getting it.
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Message 1554299 - Posted: 9 Aug 2014, 16:51:08 UTC - in response to Message 1554264.
Last modified: 9 Aug 2014, 17:35:17 UTC

Thank you Dena. Since James started the original thread & with reading what many posted, I often wanted to post on a particular event, but felt too embarrassed & indeed some days ashamed to as I felt that being the age I am, should show maturity.

However, bit busy atm & when finished need to gather my thoughts.
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