I think I have a plan. I will let this thread continue up to 700 posts. I will also use my mobile device and see what happens. I also want those of you who use a moblie device to provide feed back to me Either here or PM.
Lets consider this a beta test for 700 posts.

I will also link this thread to the new one when it is needed. I also wont have such a long winded introduction:)

Thank you all for your imput. And Thank you for your particpation.

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[/quote]

Old James

Just revisiting to say my mother is doing fairly well in her physical/occupational therapies, and eating normally. Overall, if you've kept up with things, what I just said is a tremendous statement. She has trouble keeping her feet straight while walking with assistance, and gets cranky with the process, but she's doing great, and I plan to get her home soon.

The issue that I really haven't addressed here is her problem with short-term memory. Even before the recent events that landed her in the hospital, she was having issues with recent things sticking. In fact, she has lots of sticky notes in several places around her house. She is good about writing down a nugget of information she wants to remember, but then forgets why she needed it. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that(I sure can). Her illness has magnified the murkiness she has about recent stuff. She has trouble understanding the passage of time - for instance, she gets confused about morning and night(understandable under the circumstances of being cooped up in a hospital setting). What upsets me, however, is her forgetting that I was with her all morning, and in physical therapy with her. When I remind her, she just doesn't remember, and tells me that must have been a few days ago, but "not today". This is very depressing and draining for me.

On the other hand, she is razor sharp about past events older than a year or so, and I can steer the conversation in a more comfortable direction that way fairly easily. When we talk about getting back home and all that we remember there, she is fine. She just gets very discombobulated about the present, and the reason she's in the situation she's in now. In talking to the doctors and therapists, this seems to be symptomatic of dementia, not Alzheimer's. I sure hope that's true. I can deal with forgetting today and a few days ago, but if she loses her memory of me, I will fall apart, literally. I don't think that's going to happen, but my stress and anxiety hurts.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Thank you for the update Gordon.

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Pluto will always be a planet to me.

Seti Ambassador
Not to late to order an Anni Shirt

Just revisiting to say my mother is doing fairly well in her physical/occupational therapies, and eating normally. Overall, if you've kept up with things, what I just said is a tremendous statement. She has trouble keeping her feet straight while walking with assistance, and gets cranky with the process, but she's doing great, and I plan to get her home soon.

The issue that I really haven't addressed here is her problem with short-term memory. Even before the recent events that landed her in the hospital, she was having issues with recent things sticking. In fact, she has lots of sticky notes in several places around her house. She is good about writing down a nugget of information she wants to remember, but then forgets why she needed it. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that(I sure can). Her illness has magnified the murkiness she has about recent stuff. She has trouble understanding the passage of time - for instance, she gets confused about morning and night(understandable under the circumstances of being cooped up in a hospital setting). What upsets me, however, is her forgetting that I was with her all morning, and in physical therapy with her. When I remind her, she just doesn't remember, and tells me that must have been a few days ago, but "not today". This is very depressing and draining for me.

On the other hand, she is razor sharp about past events older than a year or so, and I can steer the conversation in a more comfortable direction that way fairly easily. When we talk about getting back home and all that we remember there, she is fine. She just gets very discombobulated about the present, and the reason she's in the situation she's in now. In talking to the doctors and therapists, this seems to be symptomatic of dementia, not Alzheimer's. I sure hope that's true. I can deal with forgetting today and a few days ago, but if she loses her memory of me, I will fall apart, literally. I don't think that's going to happen, but my stress and anxiety hurts.

Thanx for the update Gordon:) It may seem at one point she doesn't remember or recognize you anymore but when you keep giving her that positive energy, she will feel well. Does she still listen to music? You have to hold her hand a lot too, so she feels your presence.

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Thanx for the update Gordon:) It may seem at one point she doesn't remember or recognize you anymore but when you keep giving her that positive energy, she will feel well. Does she still listen to music? You have to hold her hand a lot too, so she feels your presence.

She's fine with normal long-term memory, but it's her retention of new information that is the problem, and even with that, if I can find the right trigger, I can get her to say, "oh yeah, that's right.". When she is having a particularly foggy moment, I can also steer the conversation to something she is comfortable with, so it's ok. Right now, the 24/7 nursing attention with daily PT/OT is still worth it, but I am getting her home soon because I know that will ease general overall anxiety for both of us. Her house is the safe zone.

Along with the short-term memory problem is an ADD sort of thing in which she has trouble focusing on a book, but she does recognize and enjoy her old music that I have copied off records and brought in, as well as pictures and scrap book stuff, and yes I do hold her hand and keep my arm around her a lot. Honestly, I think we both feel more secure when we're together.

She has a strong attachment to her computer. I got her online with Prodigy back in 1994ish, and she loves email, groups, and looking stuff up. You might ask why not bring in a laptop for her, but she is so accustomed to her particular set-up at home, a wireless laptop with a smaller screen, and without her scanner and printer in the familiar place would throw her for a loop. I correspond with her online buddies, and relay and print messages. So, for the time being, I'm her computer proxy, too. :~)

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

The physical news is so good, Gordon!!! :) Really pleased to hear. She's made amazing progress!!! Wish there was something I could say that would help you with the issue of her fading memory though :(

I am confident that forgetting who you are, is going to a long way off in the future - and may not happen at all! Also - once she's home - you may see a marked improvement in how she is at the moment. I know there were already problems before she went into hospital though.

Learn some relaxation techniques NOW if you can :) and maybe how to smile in a dazed unfocussed manner into an empty space inside your brain and imagine [fairies, yeti's, unicorns... whatever takes your fancy really] are real :) I say this... because it's the "having to repeat the same thing over again and have it received as if it's the first time it's EVER been raised" that makes me contemplate mindlessly chewing the walls :)

What upsets me, however, is her forgetting that I was with her all morning, and in physical therapy with her. When I remind her, she just doesn't remember, and tells me that must have been a few days ago, but "not today". This is very depressing and draining for me.

Yep :( It may be because she has dozed off in between the therapy session, and you then visiting her again later in the day, given as...

She has trouble understanding the passage of time - for instance, she gets confused about morning and night

(I tried a calendar for my mum once, before she came to live with me :) The idea was that she would mark the calendar each morning and so would be able to tell which day of the week etc that she was "on". She got through January and February in a fortnight due to her naps. The year positively whizzed by :))

What your mum is forgetting are chunks of time - not you. Where a chunk has gone missing (that she knows must have happened, eg the regular physical therapy) her brain patches the hole with a memory of "physical therapy" and it's unlikely to be a complete memory. Knowing she's lost a chunk (for however briefly she realises it) will make her anxious, and so the copy paste will be inexact and will leave out any other details that would normally have been part of the copied memory (you being there for example). As the therapy is not exactly the highlight of her day, anything positive from the pasted memory is very likely to be left behind and not duplicated. Does that make sense?

I can deal with forgetting today and a few days ago, but if she loses her memory of me, I will fall apart, literally. I don't think that's going to happen, but my stress and anxiety hurts

Gordon - it's not going to happen. You're there for her - every day :) She may sometimes just need a few moments longer to reboot if something has made her anxious or confused. That's all. :) Try not to fret - it does hurt terribly - I know :( Now, when my mum is un-discombobulating, I find myself saying things like "you've forgotten who I am again haven't you? I could tell you anything and you'd have to believe me..." with a big mischievous smile. Maybe it's the smile that she remembers, or maybe the extra few seconds just gives her the time to reboot, or maybe a little bit of humour makes for a lot of de-stressing her. You'll find what works best for your mum, if and when you need to :)

I know how you feel Gordan about your mom not knowing who you are. I had that happen with my dad. He had just enterd the 4th stage of Parkinson. And had pneumonia bad. We all thought he was going to die then. when he finally came out of it He didnt know I was his oldest son. That was actually crushing to me. And I knew then his time on this earth was short. The next day he knew who I was. But thats when his Dr. told all of us he had six months at the most. He lived for 4.
I will allways miss my dad. Just like he missed his dad, Who died at the age of 58. My dad was 81 when he passed on.
Its the circle of life Gordan. At one point you are the youngest in the family. At the next the oldest.
Just do what you are doing Gordan. You and your mom will make the best of it.

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[/quote]

Old James

HI Gordon,

thanks for sharing. I think - James Sotherden, Julie, and Annie have said it much better than I ever could,

and I share their Good thoughts and advice.

I am not an educated person but ........

I once posted about my nervous breakdown, when my beloved father was dying of incurable cancer,

and how I witness my mother commit suicide when I was ten years old.

and how I now support and I am a caregiver to my younger Brother - who has suffered from Bipolar condition all his Life.

I know many people have gone thru much worse than I have. I guess we all have.

at that time you offered me help and counseling for my depression.

Gordon ... if there is any way I can help, please contact me.

Byron

What your mum is forgetting are chunks of time - not you. Where a chunk has gone missing (that she knows must have happened, eg the regular physical therapy) her brain patches the hole with a memory of "physical therapy" and it's unlikely to be a complete memory. Knowing she's lost a chunk (for however briefly she realises it) will make her anxious, and so the copy paste will be inexact and will leave out any other details that would normally have been part of the copied memory (you being there for example). As the therapy is not exactly the highlight of her day, anything positive from the pastedmemory is very likely to be left behind and not duplicated. Does that make sense?

Annie, that is very well-put. I follow that.

And going along with that, simple, "nice" short-term memories, like a BLT with Benedictine, that we talked about getting a few days ago, are recalled easily. Another example is how she doesn't like Neil deGrasse Tyson compared to Carl Sagan.

It seems like all the memories are in her brain somewhere. I just stumble onto keys for different rooms where they're being stored. Her longer term memories(in my definition, those older than two years or so) seem to be in safer rooms with much better access.

She may sometimes just need a few moments longer to reboot if something has made her anxious or confused.

Absolutely. I see this, too.

HI Gordon,

thanks for sharing. I think - James Sotherden, Julie, and Annie have said it much better than I ever could,

and I share their Good thoughts and advice.

Thanks, Byron.

I know how you feel Gordan about your mom not knowing who you are. I had that happen with my dad. He had just enterd the 4th stage of Parkinson. And had pneumonia bad. We all thought he was going to die then. when he finally came out of it He didnt know I was his oldest son. That was actually crushing to me. And I knew then his time on this earth was short. The next day he knew who I was. But thats when his Dr. told all of us he had six months at the most. He lived for 4.
I will allways miss my dad. Just like he missed his dad, Who died at the age of 58. My dad was 81 when he passed on.
Its the circle of life Gordan. At one point you are the youngest in the family. At the next the oldest.
Just do what you are doing Gordan. You and your mom will make the best of it.

Thanks, James. We both actually do say to each other a lot, "we're doing the best we can".


p.s. One of the nurses today asked her if I was her only baby. She laughed and said, "yes, who needs more than one big baby?". Priceless.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Do you know what? I never cease to be moved by this thread :) Okay, it's often to a soggy, or near-soggy-eyed state :( but that's what empathy does to you I suppose, and I wouldn't have it any other way :) Loving is one of the hardest things we do to ourselves – because it sets us up for inevitable loss in so many tragic ways.

I am so glad it was only a temporary lapse that terrible day when your dad did not know who you were James... and so sorry that what must have been such a wonderful moment of relief on the day that followed, had to be cruelly dashed by the news from the doctor. That's one awful rollercoaster ride :(

And you are absolutely right... (Gordon – James is absolutely right :)) ... when you say:

Its the circle of life Gordan. At one point you are the youngest in the family. At the next the oldest.
Just do what you are doing Gordan. You and your mom will make the best of it.

... and there will be many good, heartwarming and utterly endearing times ahead too :) Just like this one...

One of the nurses today asked her if I was her only baby. She laughed and said, "yes, who needs more than one big baby?". Priceless.

:))))))))))))))))))))) (I would love to meet your mum! :))

Just remember to focus on your here and now as much as you can, each and every day, giving every moment the maximum squeeze possible! :) I'm glad my previous post made sense with regards the memory lapses – and yes! It's all about finding those triggers that lead to those misplaced keys :)

And Byron :) I know you will pooh-pooh this... (er... ahem... apologies for bringing the tone of the thread down there rather dramatically everyone... :/) but you greatly underestimate yourself. :) Do you have any idea how many extra smile wrinkles you've given me with every one of your posts?! No? Yes! I thought not! :)

You have risen above some truly tragic circumstances, starting at such a tender age :( and when you posted some of that to the thread, it broke my heart to hear them :( It's just as James said though – the circle of life... Your younger brother is blessed to have such a wonderful caring sibling looking out for him. And we at Seti are too. :)

PS: Isn't it brilliant SETI didn't stay broken for too long! :)

We All have a lot to contribute here. And like Annie, I have shed a few tears reading about some of the heart breaking stories told in here.
The one lesson I have learned, And I see it echoed in here is,
Yes I have had it tough, But I choose to go forward and live and enjoy life. Not dwell on the bad parts.

And to be honest back in my younger days, I did dwell on the bad. I realised after a fashion that was foolish thinking. Get over it and move on. Time is short the older you get. Screw the past, Lets see the future.

And I thank every single one of you for reinforceing that.

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[/quote]

Old James

I knew it! :)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

I really have to apologise for the source in this instance, but I hope that this may be of some relevance here.

Sharing

Well, now the scientists have proven what many of us learned from experience.

And note the sidebar about stress and anxiety being contagious? Isn't that one of the principles of crowd psychology / herd mentality? That we react to, and feed off of, other people's emotions?

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired

The people taking care of my mother are great. I plan to get a bunch of these things for them in the morning.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

I really have to apologise for the source in this instance, but I hope that this may be of some relevance here.

Sharing

Well, now the scientists have proven what many of us learned from experience.

And note the sidebar about stress and anxiety being contagious? Isn't that one of the principles of crowd psychology / herd mentality? That we react to, and feed off of, other people's emotions?

I work with a person(the Security Guard I mentioned several weeks ago) who likes to stir things up, and she really likes to see other people having a hard time because I think it takes her mind off her own problems.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Had a great talk with my mom's doctor today, and he's going to remove what's left of the feeding tube on Thursday, and I can take her home any time after that. I just need to arrange Home Health. She has come a long way, and her doctor just reiterated to me what he said at the beginning of this ordeal, back in March, that he thought she was falling apart(and might die), but by golly, she has come back, and I am very happy and excited to get her home asap.
He said he's still mystified as to why she went down hill as much as she did, but he said sometimes medicine just doesn't even know.

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The mind is a weird and mysterious place

Had a great talk with my mom's doctor today, and he's going to remove what's left of the feeding tube on Thursday, and I can take her home any time after that. I just need to arrange Home Health. She has come a long way, and her doctor just reiterated to me what he said at the beginning of this ordeal, back in March, that he thought she was falling apart(and might die), but by golly, she has come back, and I am very happy and excited to get her home asap.
He said he's still mystified as to why she went down hill as much as she did, but he said sometimes medicine just doesn't even know.

Gordon ... this is Great news!

Please give your Mum our Love and Best Wishes.

you must be very happy and pleased.

God Bless you and your Mum.

Best Wishes
Byron

Had a great talk with my mom's doctor today, and he's going to remove what's left of the feeding tube on Thursday, and I can take her home any time after that. I just need to arrange Home Health. She has come a long way, and her doctor just reiterated to me what he said at the beginning of this ordeal, back in March, that he thought she was falling apart(and might die), but by golly, she has come back, and I am very happy and excited to get her home asap.
He said he's still mystified as to why she went down hill as much as she did, but he said sometimes medicine just doesn't even know.

Gordon ... this is Great news!

Please give your Mum our Love and Best Wishes.

you must be very happy and pleased.

God Bless you and your Mum.

Best Wishes
Byron

+ 1000 :) Truly wonderful news! :)

Had a great talk with my mom's doctor today, and he's going to remove what's left of the feeding tube on Thursday, and I can take her home any time after that. I just need to arrange Home Health. She has come a long way, and her doctor just reiterated to me what he said at the beginning of this ordeal, back in March, that he thought she was falling apart(and might die), but by golly, she has come back, and I am very happy and excited to get her home asap.
He said he's still mystified as to why she went down hill as much as she did, but he said sometimes medicine just doesn't even know.

Gordon ... this is Great news!

Please give your Mum our Love and Best Wishes.

you must be very happy and pleased.

God Bless you and your Mum.

Best Wishes
Byron

+ 1000 :) Truly wonderful news! :)

+2000 :)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Modern medicine is not as exact a science as some practitioners want (and want us) to believe. So much depends on the attitude/mental state of the patient. And once in a great while, a little Divine Intervention.....

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Donald
Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired