What happened to compassion and understanding?I think more of this is needed in these days and times.Help others and they will help you.Abit like Pay It Forward.Do a good deed and you will be given one back.I think long working hours and stress here in England has made people immmune to some things in life.They spend less time with their families and more at work getting stressed.Do you know your neighbour?Would you know if your elderly neighbour was ill?Would you go round if you saw milk two days old on their doorstep?I think the community feel has been lost here as people are too busy to look, really look at other people.When walking down the street for example.Do you smile at other people?Do you say hello to passers by?Here in England we tend not to.We tend to rush around in our own little bubble.I notice when I visit Spain people are more friendly and open.They smile, they say helloo.Also they have large families living together.They look after their elderly.2-3 generations live in the same home.Guess that's why I like Spain so much.People have the time for eachother more.
I guess it is the time of year etc.My neighbour opposite, I do not even know her name.An elderly lady.I think that is so wrong.I will send her an Xmas card this year.
What is your community like where you live?Is it a tight knit thing or is not not much of a community at all?

Thanks

Rachel.

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......In Space No One Can Hear You Scream......

> What happened to compassion and understanding? My neighbour opposite, I do not even know
> her name.An elderly lady.I think that is so wrong.I will send her an Xmas card
> this year.
> What is your community like where you live?Is it a tight knit thing or is not
> not much of a community at all?
>
> Thanks
>
> Rachel.
>
Take her a plate of cookies or something else you bake well. Heck, take her an invitation to dinner with you and your husband/boyfriend/significant-other!
It does not have to be "for the Holidays" it can be after the Holidays, the point is MAKE AN EFFORT! You just may find a new friend!

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> What happened to compassion and understanding?I think more of this is needed
> in these days and times.Help others and they will help you.Abit like Pay It
> Forward.Do a good deed and you will be given one back.I think long working
> hours and stress here in England has made people immmune to some things in
> life.They spend less time with their families and more at work getting
> stressed.Do you know your neighbour?Would you know if your elderly neighbour
> was ill?Would you go round if you saw milk two days old on their doorstep?I
> think the community feel has been lost here as people are too busy to look,
> really look at other people.When walking down the street for example.Do you
> smile at other people?Do you say hello to passers by?Here in England we tend
> not to.We tend to rush around in our own little bubble.I notice when I visit
> Spain people are more friendly and open.They smile, they say helloo.Also they
> have large families living together.They look after their elderly.2-3
> generations live in the same home.Guess that's why I like Spain so much.People
> have the time for eachother more.
> I guess it is the time of year etc.My neighbour opposite, I do not even know
> her name.An elderly lady.I think that is so wrong.I will send her an Xmas card
> this year.
> What is your community like where you live?Is it a tight knit thing or is not
> not much of a community at all?
>
> Thanks
>
> Rachel.

What a kind Christmas message, Rachel (and from an atheist no less). Thank you for stepping back and looking at these boards from a view other than the tit-for-tat, you say this and I say that, bickering that has been going on here.

I don't think it will stop, but have a Merry Christmas, and know that you have contributed in a positive way. (Not much more you can do).

P.S. I myself am not as tolerant of the things being said in the various threads here, but I'll work on it.

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I live in a very small town in central U.S., and people are very friendly. I know all of my neighbors.

Two years ago however, I lived in Boston, MA, on the east coast U.S.-- there, on my way to work I would pass by probably 5,000 faces every day, on the subway, etc. Saying hello was pointless, as there were just thousands of new strangers every day. The world is getting big. :-)

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www.onlinetasklist.com

bump

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......In Space No One Can Hear You Scream......

Guess it depends on the size of it all.The bigger the place, the less we get to know people.With I was in Spain right now.Chilling out and relaxing.

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......In Space No One Can Hear You Scream......

Guess it depends on the size of it all.The bigger the place, the less we get to know people.
It's kinda odd you should mention that. Being a New Yorker, I've seen many "commuter communities" - That is that people who share the ride to and from work. These are people who live within a mile or two of each other. On the train or bus, they're great buddies, some of them for decades! But once they're off the LIRR, it's like they don't know each other - Even the next-door neighbours!

Maybe the context of the community should be taken into account.

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I once went to New Zealand. toured the northern island. Once back I tell everyone that we(USA) have much to learn from them. The 1st store I went to to get a Power cable for my laptop GAVE me the cable. even when i offered money.
I went to a flea market. and they all seemed friendly and chatty. In most cases they discounted the prices for me. I was blown away at the friendlyness the whole time I was there. One person even offered to pump my gas even though it was self service.
I visited the Mauri reservations. I'm Cherokee. They were all friendly and have a lot in common with our native americans here in the states. It was a pleasure to meet people that friendly.
I'm from a small town in the Appalachian mountains of Virginia. There people where fairly friendly as well. But now I live in the city of Tampa Florida. In comparason, It is not as friendly at all. Maybey someone will hold a store door open for u if u behind them but they seem afraid to even say hi when u walk through.
I was at the gas pump the other day. and noticed a woman was trying to push the state owned truck that she was in. I finished pumping my gas and didn't even walk toward her but asked if she needed some help and she got back into the truck and called someone and wouldn't even look out at me to tell me yes or no!

There was even a tow truck beside her at the gas pump. The driver heard me ask. and looked at me as if offering help. I just threw my hands in the air. as I didn't know what to do. he shook his head and we both left.
I think most people are friendly people but it is fear of others keeps them from doing so. And I can't really blame them. I have Helocopters searching my neighborhood often and shootings on regular bases. We have the news showing nothing but the bad things that happen to people. And of course people seem to remember to tell stories of the bad things that happen more so than the good things others do. So this compounds it.
I had candy( no drugs or razor blades inside) for Halloween but know one knocked on my door. I don't expect carolers at christmas to go door to door either.
this seems to be the society we live in

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My neighbours in Spain took us out for a meal while we were there.They sent us an email yesterday offering to do the same thing again when we next visit.Cannot wait as the chinese where they take us is amazing.Wonderful food and wine at a great price.Good atmosphere too.

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......In Space No One Can Hear You Scream......

The best Chinese food I've ever had was in Santiago. The place is called the "Danubio Azul" (That's right, the Blue Danube!), but the food was exquisite! Not too expensive either!

One of these days I'll have to head back.

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The best chinese food I had was in China...and it had nothing to
do with western "chinese" restaurant. Think it was dog stew. Yummy.

> The best chinese food I had was in China...and it had nothing to
> do with western "chinese" restaurant. Think it was dog stew. Yummy.
>
Grrrrrrr

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Account frozen...

Never been to China as yet.Would love to go though.My mum's hairdresser went for one month.Jammy cow,lol.

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......In Space No One Can Hear You Scream......

I've contemplated why people are the way they are, standoffish and antisocial towards strangers. I think there's a lot that goes into it, and just pointing to one thing like overcrowding is too simplistic. When I was in Japan, I met many people in cities that were very helpful even to the point of putting themselves out.

Availability of media could have something to do with it. We don't have to entertain each other, we have machines to do it for us. Nobody sits on the front porch and talks or plays in a jug-band anymore. We are far more detached from each other than we used to be, even a few years ago. Before the Internet became cheap to access, us old guys had Bulletin Board Systems, which were simpler local computer setups we could do the same thing we're doing now. Occasionally, we'd organize breakfasts or picnics (or a medieval court or a game of Starfleet Battles) and see each other face to face. I doubt we'd be able to organize an effective "SETI breakfast", with folks flying in from Europe and Argentina and the like, so in a way the Internet is sort of a barrier.

Crime and fraud have to do with some of it. Around here there's a common tactic of panhandling for "five bucks for gasoline." And it's often not straightforward either; the person tries to engage you socially first. There's the door to door and mall prowlers that try to sell magazine subscriptions by claiming to be taking a survey. Add to that people who are directly trying to steal from you, like the guy who asked my Mom for the time of day then tried to yank her watch from her wrist. Enough examples of this and one gets to believe that anyone talking to you is trying to get something from you.

I believe in part that the loss of more complicated social interactions in various cultures is part of it. Over the years, celebrations have gotten bigger, but much less participatory, and few involve people outside the family. To me, this is an understandable loss. Life is FAR more complicated today, with far too many things to learn. Imagine for a second, that Benjamin Franklin (for those outside the US, pick someone intelligent from a few hundred years ago in your country in place of Franklin) was suddenly transported through time to you and you had to explain everything you do during the day. He didn't have to learn to operate a car or a web browser or keep up with telephone calls. Then you ask him about what it was like in his time, and he'd tell you about arcane esoterica of social interaction that you would never have time to deal with.

Still it's sad that we've lost basic kindnesses. When I was in school in Plymouth, Massachusetts, my Dad built a removable carriage on our riding lawn mower and welded up an attachment for a huge snowblower. Being a middle class neighborhood, the kids didn't shovel snow for extra cash. Since it took Dad longer to suit up than it did to plow the driveway and the long trail to the back door (Dad tends to overkill when he builds things), he plowed out everyone up and down the block. Now even in suburban Massachusetts, you don't get real friendly with your neighbors. We'd had a fight with the people next door who built their fence eight feet over the property line. So they were the first ones to show up at the door quizzically asking about the plowing, then trying to pay Dad for it, then just leaving gifts on the doorstep for it. The rest of the neighborhood followed. A "thank you" would have been just fine, but these people were just too confused about why someone would ever do something for someone else "just because".

I've said more in this post than I ever have to nearly all my neighbors.

> The best chinese food I had was in China...and it had nothing to
> do with western "chinese" restaurant. Think it was dog stew. Yummy.
>
It's my understanding, in the United States if you raise dogs, you own a kennel. In Asia, if you raise dogs, you are a farmer.

Just some "food" for thought..

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<p><img src="http://boinc.mundayweb.com/one/stats.php?userID=97">

I once lived in a neighborhood where we occasionally had "block parties". Where everybody brought a main dish and a desert dish to share...
Was great fun and really got to know all the neighbors. Made the neighborhood feel more like home.

Really miss that here where I live now.

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<B>.&nbsp; 0   <A HREF="http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-patriotspage">My Web Page</a>
.&nbsp; |L  Later,
.(__)  QuadMan2</B>

Growing up in Chicago, I think I knew every family on our block, but I don't know if my parents (who both worked) could say the same. Now, in the cul-de-sac where I have lived for 20 years, I have met everyone, but people move in and out, and we only see eachother to talk on rare occasions, like New Year's Eve or a power outage.

I leave home about 5:30 AM and return home after 6:00 PM, when many families are having dinner and then putting kids to bed. On the weekends, sometimes the two little girls in my loop will come over and ask if my little dog can come out and play with them (my dog is great with kids), but their dad watches from his side of the loop and I from mine, and we usually do no more than just wave hello.

Another reason I don't socialize very much with my neighbors is that my wife's sister and nephew live so close, that we often spend holidays together. So some of those times that neighbors might meet (4th of July, Memorial Day) we are either not home or our house is filled with family.

Actually, I understand the value of being involved in one's community, but I have not worked at it much; and the way things have turned out are okay with me.

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> Growing up in Chicago, I think I knew every family on our block

I found a place where everyone's a cousin to everybody else.
You'd think so because the nuclear family is strong and grandma's down the street.
Boomers in the states have done alot of dispersing, moving off- following careers.
In a place where families have been there for a century or more and live inside a 30 mile circle,
A familiarity among the community in general is enhanced and supported by so many family ties.
I lived a long time in rural Alaska and found that sense strong without the larger family influence mainly because you know you're going to need help and so not careless about extending it to others.
In rural America, many of the kids go off as opportunity is limited. In the suburbs- well, the suburbs.
I need to live where people are friendly.
Backwater living- up in the hills, down in the swamps- for me it's where it's happening.

> I need to live where people are friendly.
> Backwater living- up in the hills, down in the swamps- for me it's where it's
> happening.

I must admit I am somewhat jealous of this. I cannot live there. Over the years my own heart has become hard. I love humanity. I am polite and follow the rules just because I see the need for community and commonality. But I find myself despising humans on an individual level. It's a flaw of mine.

If we keep reminding each other of what we know in our hearts to be forever true, as some are doing in this thread, the light cannot be overwhelmed by the benighted few.
Hear the cynic's laughter?
If a pickpocket stands before a saint, all he can see are the pockets. In many ways, we live in a world with its head up its ass. But it's just a matter of direction. Is it going in or coming out?
Yesterday, I noticed a FedEx truck parked next to a DHL truck, and the drivers of the two delivery vehicles were loading boxes and packages at high speed. They both had a lot of boxes. The FedEx guy finished first, paused, looked over at the other guy, and said, "Hey man, can I give you a hand?" The global-scale competition of the two delivery-business giants vanished in an instant, to be replaced by two guys helping each other out.
Listen to the cynic's howls of derision. See him cover his eyes to rid himself of the light cast by the spirit of the two truck drivers and by Rachel's kind concern for her elderly neighbor. This spirit is contagious. All should catch it, so that the light can grow in an ever-widening circle of Peace on Earth and Good Will to All.
Robert

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