Puns O Fun 24

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Message 1338146 - Posted: 14 Feb 2013, 18:30:25 UTC

Some just relish the art of the pun.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1338152 - Posted: 14 Feb 2013, 18:38:36 UTC

My condiments on all the great puns.

Bed time for me.
[/quote]

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Message 1338160 - Posted: 14 Feb 2013, 18:57:08 UTC

I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.

Goodnight James:)
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Message 1338181 - Posted: 14 Feb 2013, 19:18:38 UTC

Some are just Mustards of the puns and some arr knot.
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Message 1338184 - Posted: 14 Feb 2013, 19:24:23 UTC

Oh that's the wurst!
#resist
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Message 1338520 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 16:54:06 UTC - in response to Message 1338184.  

Oh that's the wurst!

You BRAT, You were being quite FRANK:)

I will be working toight so I leave you with this.

Many years ago I read a book called Death by Rope. I didnt like the ending though, It left you hanging.
[/quote]

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Message 1338574 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 18:53:33 UTC

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.
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Message 1338581 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 19:28:03 UTC - in response to Message 1338574.  

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

Time to make the donuts.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1338582 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 19:29:59 UTC

Mmmm...Duncan donuts...I always had them when I was in the States. Can't find them over here.
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Message 1338623 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 21:31:13 UTC

I have a resistance to being oiled.


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Message 1338652 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 22:53:14 UTC

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Message 1338658 - Posted: 15 Feb 2013, 23:25:34 UTC

I have an alergy to being soiled.


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Message 1338675 - Posted: 16 Feb 2013, 0:11:51 UTC

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Message 1338807 - Posted: 16 Feb 2013, 7:58:06 UTC

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill...
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Message 1338809 - Posted: 16 Feb 2013, 8:06:03 UTC
Last modified: 16 Feb 2013, 8:06:22 UTC

My mommy told me my daddy was such a pistol.
Explains why I am such a son of a gun.
"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

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Message 1341127 - Posted: 27 Feb 2013, 1:32:09 UTC

I know this isn't the usual style of this thread, but I'm stealing this from a Facebook friend.

1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

11 Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line

12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone

14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle

16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds

17. 52 cards = 1 decacards

18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton

19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

22. 10 rations = 1 decoration

23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration

24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

25. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms

26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

David
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Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

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Message 1341128 - Posted: 27 Feb 2013, 1:51:51 UTC - in response to Message 1341127.  

26. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

My father worked as a computer programmer back in the days of huge mainframes. He was a member of the Mark IV Users Group. It, or an offshoot of it, was called the IV League. They smugly pronounced it as though it were spelled Ivy. I preferred to pronounce it like the the medical treatment they most likely needed.

David
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Waiting for a message from a small furry creature from Alpha Centauri.

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Message 1341235 - Posted: 27 Feb 2013, 11:33:52 UTC

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.
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Message 1341301 - Posted: 27 Feb 2013, 16:47:47 UTC

Very good puns everyone. Sorry if I seem to be neglecting my own thread.

I keep a pair of scissors at my computer desk to cut wayward payment slips from the rest of the bill. Trouble is when the grandkids are visiting they use them for what kids use them for and never put them back. One day after they had left I could not find them. I looked in the places where I saw them being used but still no luck. I gave up the chase and just plopped down in my computer chair. I found them, Only now they are called INSCISSORS.
[/quote]

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Message 1341600 - Posted: 28 Feb 2013, 11:35:42 UTC

I finally got rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying. I'm ex-static!
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Message boards : Cafe SETI : Puns O Fun 24


 
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