Pres is bad. Really really bad. We're lost. Time to implode!


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Message 1306971 - Posted: 16 Nov 2012, 23:57:11 UTC
Last modified: 17 Nov 2012, 0:36:22 UTC

Jerry: "It was like I was on some sort of Bizarro world."

George: "It was the summer of Bizarro. October surprise, baby!"

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Message 1306984 - Posted: 17 Nov 2012, 0:36:04 UTC

The Prez was in a pool! The prez was in a pool!!!

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Message 1307011 - Posted: 17 Nov 2012, 4:19:30 UTC - in response to Message 1307004.

America voted.
Republicans noted,
that history left them behind.

All in a tiz,
with no one to dis,
they all blamed a global warming.

The cry went out,
to all who would listen,
that this is a fight to the end.

In the end,
we'll all find,
that republicans my friend,
are nopublicans et al.


"The Marble Thinker"
by me
sometime in Fall 1994 or Winter 1994/1995.

Truth -
permeates our existence.
Falsehood -
hinders our persistence.
What will you offer up
in resistance?
Will you swallow it
hook, line & sinker?
Prime-time,
boob-tube
marble thinker.

What they're trying to sell ya -
It's called
propaganda.
Truth rearranged,
money's exchanged.
Truth become lies, bought.
Never given a 2nd thought.

We -
are watching from the fence.
Watching
them fight for the defense.
Just takes a few thousand dollars,
for them to put a spin on the evidence.
Will we swallow it
hook, line & sinker?
Prime-time
boob-tube
marble thinker.

What they're trying to tell ya -
could it be
they have an agenda?
It's all perception.
If there are 2 sides to every story,
is there no such thing as deception?
Artful depiction -
leaving only 1 choice for the jury ...
Not enough evidence for conviction.

Truth -
"It's all relative" isn't what Daddy said.
Falsehood -
is what we keep getting fed.
I will offer up
a fight until I'm dead.
No, I won't swallow it -
hook, line & sinker.
I define the fine line
between an open mind & a marble thinker.

So awkward and out of place -
I see
you're charmed by my smiling face.
Put me on the stand -
raise my right hand.
Of course, you believe me.
"He couldn't be lying, could he?"

Listen to it now!

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Message 1307192 - Posted: 17 Nov 2012, 22:22:44 UTC
Last modified: 17 Nov 2012, 22:23:59 UTC

This is doing the rounds at the moment:


A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

-----------------------

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

------------------------

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

-------------------

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

-----------------

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

----------------------

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

----------------------

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

--------------------

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

-------------------

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

-------------------

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

---------------------

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

---------------------

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

---------------------

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

--------------------

13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

-----------------

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

---------------

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!



PS: Only share this with those who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!



God Save the Queen!


:-)
Martin
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Message 1307274 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 4:14:26 UTC

I'm in!!!

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Message 1307320 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 9:27:50 UTC
Last modified: 18 Nov 2012, 9:29:34 UTC

I just love it!! But I'm afraid I will have to call for amendments to Items 6 and 15, and a new 16 and 17.

Item 6
Henceforth you will use the traditional Imperial measurements and drink your beer in real pints of 20 fluid ounces not 16.65 fluid ounces. Also you will adopt a proper ton of 2240 pounds not 2000 pounds. You have been short changing people for years and this will now stop.

Item 15
You will use the proper tea which is Earl Grey.

New 16
Your automotive industry will use the correct terminology for components. A hood will become a bonnet, a trunk will become a boot, a fender will become a bumper, and a tire will become a tyre. You will drive on a motorway not a freeway, and pedestrians will walk on the pavement not the sidewalk.

New 17
In fast food outlets you will instruct your staff to refrain from shouting out "pastrami on rye, hold the Mayo, to go". The correct terminology is to say in a quiet voice, "The customer wants to order Pastrami on brown bread, without any mayonnaise, and wishes to take it out, not eat in." Likewise you will refrain from saying "have a nice day".

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Message 1307325 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 9:57:58 UTC

I'd certainly go for the banning of "Have a nice day" as a means of saying "Goodbye, and thank you for buying goods/services from us". In all the time I spent in the USofA I only heard it said twice in a manner that communicated that the speaker actually meant it - once from the Deputy Sheriff of a small town, who had treated us to lunch on hearing us speak, and the second the shop keeper in a small town.
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Message 1307329 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 10:19:53 UTC

To be fair Rob, I suppose the Yanks could quite easily compile a similar one taking the mickey out of us Brits. Oooops what have I said?


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Message 1307347 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 12:11:14 UTC
Last modified: 21 Mar 2014, 18:03:04 UTC

--

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Message 1307348 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 13:01:36 UTC

Item 15
You will use the proper tea which is Earl Grey.
Except at breakfast when English Breakfast Tea will be served.

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Message 1307356 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 13:52:09 UTC
Last modified: 18 Nov 2012, 13:58:49 UTC

Rule 12A:
You will also learn to understand why two teams can play a game for 5 days without anyone winning. (When will Ponting remember what a Cricket Bat is mean't for ? :-P )

[edit] The South African pace attack was dismal, Oh for the days when the West Indies had a worthwhile team. (sigh) [/edit]

T.A.

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Message 1307388 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 15:17:11 UTC

Rule 12B

All USA children will learn the rules of cricket by 11 years old.

You have two sides, one out, and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in, and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out the side that's out comes in, and the side that's been in goes out, and tries to get those coming in out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When both sides have been in and out including the not outs. That's the end of the game.

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Message 1307389 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 15:17:12 UTC - in response to Message 1307356.

The South African pace attack was dismal...


Coming right back at ya in Adelaide this week! ;)

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Message 1307435 - Posted: 18 Nov 2012, 16:50:25 UTC

COINCIDENCE?? OBAMA LOSES IN EVERY STATE REQUIRING PHOTO IDS

The liberal trolls are out in full force on this page. Once idenified they are immediatedly dismissed.

To those who read this I would but ask, "What are you doing here?" Should
n't you "compassionate ones," be busy today working out that "Hope, and Change?"

One such deluded soul just posted this; "Just face it Liberals outnumber you?" My reply before sending him out the door; "If you are so condident in this assertion why then are you afraid of photo id requirements?"

Remember all those lawsuits by Democrats demanding that any voter identification laws be repealed. Well, now we know why they filed them. They needed to steal the vote in certain key states so that Obama could be reelected.

Curiously, Obama lost in every state that requires a photo ID to be produced before voting. A list of closely contested state elections with no voter ID, which narrowly went to Obama include: Minnesota (10), Iowa (6), Wisconsin (10), Nevada (6), Colorado (9), New Mexico (5) and Pennsylvania (20). This amounts to a total of 66 electoral votes. When added to Romney’s total of 205 electoral votes, that would give Romney 271 electoral votes, enough votes to win even without Ohio or Florida.

Romney also likely had the states of Florida and Ohio stolen from him, which don’t require photo IDs. Ohio requires a non-photo ID. Would a library card do? Florida “requests” a photo ID, but doesn’t require it. So what happens if they request a photo ID and the illegal alien Haitian doesn’t have one? Do they just count the vote anyway?






Really? "OBAMA LOSES IN EVERY STATE REQUIRING PHOTO IDS" Really?

http://www.sos.state.co.us/pubs/elections/vote/acceptableFormsOfID.html

CO is shown in blue, meaning Obama won CO.

From its own Secretary of State webpage:

All voters who vote at the polls must provide identification. If you are voting by mail for the first time, you may also need to provide a photocopy of your identification.

Please note, a Social Security number (or last four digits) is not a legal form of identification for voting in person. Additionally, if any form of identification listed below shows your address, that address must be in the state of Colorado to be valid.

The following are acceptable forms of identification:

(a) A valid Colorado driver’s license;

(b) A valid identification card issued by the Department of Revenue in accordance with the requirements of Part 3 of Article 2 of Title 42, C.R.S.;

(c) A valid U.S. passport;

(d) A valid employee identification card with a photograph of the eligible elector issued by any branch, department, agency, or entity of the United States government or of this state, or by any county, municipality, board, authority, or other political subdivision of this state;

(e) A valid pilot’s license issued by the federal aviation administration or other authorized agency of the United States;

(f) A valid U.S. military identification card with a photograph of the eligible elector;

(g) A copy of a current utility bill, bank statement, government check, paycheck, or other government document that shows the name and address of the elector. For example:

(I) A cable bill or telephone bill,

(II) Documentation from a public institution of higher education in Colorado containing at least the name, date of birth, and legal residence address of the student elector,

(III) A paycheck from a government institution or private company, or

(IV) A Certificate of Degree of Indian or Alaskan Native Blood.

(h) A valid Medicare or Medicaid card issued by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (formerly the United States Health Care Financing Administration);

(i) A certified copy of a U.S. birth certificate for the elector issued in the United States;

(j) Certified documentation of naturalization;

(k) A valid student identification card with a photograph of the eligible elector issued by an institute of higher education in Colorado, as defined in section 23-3.1-102(5), C.R.S.;

(l) A valid veteran identification card issued by the United States department of veterans affairs veterans health administration with a photograph of the eligible elector.

(m) A valid identification card issued by a federally recognized tribal government certifying tribal membership.


There is a report of an angry potential CO voter who stormed out when he was asked for a photo ID, refusing to listen to those working at the polling station who tried to tell him what his options were. He was angry it was a law. He looked ready to vote Romney.

Logic and proof: frustrating extremists since Euclid.

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Message 1307598 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 2:32:41 UTC - in response to Message 1307435.

"We lost, but it's not our fault"

I suppose it's easier to to blame your opponents for "appealing to minorities", the "Welfare Vote", "biased media coverage" and "voter fraud" than it is to admit that your candidate and campaign strategists totally screwed up.

If the GOP strategists had bothered to look at the demographics of the US rather than sitting round in a self congratulatory "circle j*rk" it would have taken less than five minutes to see that the Hard Right they were trying to appeal to were in fact a "minority group". They began to believe their own propaganda.

Surveys prior to the election were showing that this Hard Right line was turning moderate Republicans away. On election day, these people either abstained or voted for Obama.

The piece quoted by Sarge also misses the point that the popular vote in a US Presidential election is meaningless, it's the Electoral College that decides the president and the EC vote does not have to concur with the popular vote. Is the author of the piece in question insinuating that there is "voter fraud" in the Electoral College ?

If voter fraud was so rife, how come the numbers in the house of Representatives and the Senate didn't change ? According to the theory, the Dems should have won both houses in a landslide.

T.A.

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Message 1307600 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 2:45:40 UTC - in response to Message 1307598.

The piece quoted by Sarge also misses the point that the popular vote in a US Presidential election is meaningless, it's the Electoral College that decides the president and the EC vote does not have to concur with the popular vote. Is the author of the piece in question insinuating that there is "voter fraud" in the Electoral College ?


The Electoral Votes "mirror" the popular vote.
(As I seem to recall, the Senate is for equal representation of the states, while the House of Representatives and therefore, similarly, the Electoral College are based on population.)
Thus, if voter fraud were widespread, that would be "mirrored" by the Electoral College.
By "mirrored", of course, I mean that if a candidate wins significantly more electoral votes, that is because that candidate carried more of the districts.
I cannot recall any time where an electoral vote has differed from who carried a district in my lifetime. If it has happened in my lifetime, I suspect only once, at best twice.

If voter fraud was so rife, how come the numbers in the house of Representatives and the Senate didn't change ? According to the theory, the Dems should have won both houses in a landslide.


A very good question, I suppose.

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Message 1307613 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 4:19:02 UTC - in response to Message 1307598.

It appears you're not familiar with the election process in the US.

In the Senate 1/3 of the seats come up for re-election every 2 year. In this cycle there were something like 23 Democrat and 11 Republican held seats up for election. The Democrats (including one independent who will likely caucus with the Democrats) won 24 of those seats. Teapublicans flat out blew two seats (in Missouri and Indiana) with particularly BAD candidates capable of saying some VERY stupid things. Republicans would have won those seats, Teapublicans -- nope. The thing is these two Senate candidates (and a number of other Teapublican super right wing candidates) said stupid enough things to 'mark' less irrational Republican candidates for Senate in at least two and perhaps as many as four other states. Further, Senate contests are statewide, so there are no districting games to be played. Which leads to...

In the House, all 435 seats come up for election every 2 years. Democrats actually out polled Republicans -- but by a very small margin. Yet the Teapublican majority in the House was reduced by only a handful of seats. Why, you might as? Glad you did <smile>, in a number of states, as a result of the very successful election for Teapublicans in 2010 in conjunction with the census done every 10 years, the Teapublicans had control of redistricting. This is particularly clear in Pennsylvania. In Pennsylvania, where Democrats outpolled Teapublicans by a small margin in the House seats, the delegation ends up with 13 Republicans and 5 Democrats instead of a 9/9 split. Redistricting there got the Teapublicans 4 seats that more balanced redistricting would have seen go to Democrats. Texas is a good example of this as well. As a counter example, in Arizona, where, due to a state passed referendum a few years ago, a bipartisan panel does the redistricting -- with a non-partisan chair person -- the state delegation (increased by 1 seat due to population growth) went from 5/3 Republican to 5/4 Democrat.

As to in-person voter fraud -- frankly, there has been no extensive proof of this. Frankly, there are more likely sources of voter fraud via mail-in ballots (where no photo ID is required or will be required), or registration fraud (several cases pending where Republican operatives apparently took voter registration forms from typically Democratic leaning areas and dumped them in garbage bins or destroyed them).

Personally, I would like to see some form of national voter ID program -- I'd also love to see more consistent handling of voting in the country. But that is an issue for another day.

As to disgruntled folks looking to secede, perhaps instead they can search out a country which meets their political foibles and migrate there (though if they find a country which meets their foibles, they might get mistreated as migrants....).




If voter fraud was so rife, how come the numbers in the house of Representatives and the Senate didn't change ? According to the theory, the Dems should have won both houses in a landslide.

T.A.

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Message 1307632 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 6:29:34 UTC - in response to Message 1307320.

Item 15
You will use the proper tea which is Earl Grey.

...

Hot

...
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Message 1307725 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 14:57:35 UTC - in response to Message 1307320.

Item 15
You will use the proper tea which is Earl Grey.

What?! It isn't tea-publican?!! Wait till the NRA hears about this!!

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Message 1307730 - Posted: 19 Nov 2012, 15:44:56 UTC

Don't tell 'em Pike!

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Message boards : Politics : Pres is bad. Really really bad. We're lost. Time to implode!

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