Tuesday Puns


log in

Advanced search

Message boards : Cafe SETI : Tuesday Puns

Author Message
Profile Blurf
Volunteer tester
Send message
Joined: 2 Sep 06
Posts: 7576
Credit: 6,971,809
RAC: 3,184
United States
Message 1293311 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 0:09:41 UTC

Passed on by a friend...enjoy!

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now .

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

____________


Sirius B
Volunteer tester
Avatar
Send message
Joined: 26 Dec 00
Posts: 11507
Credit: 1,725,768
RAC: 1,728
Israel
Message 1293312 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 0:13:58 UTC


____________

zoom314Project donor
Avatar
Send message
Joined: 30 Nov 03
Posts: 46504
Credit: 36,854,790
RAC: 5,180
United States
Message 1293339 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 2:05:18 UTC

Nice Blurf...

Hey the bats are missing, someone call the Batman...
____________
My Facebook, War Commander, 2015

Profile tullioProject donor
Send message
Joined: 9 Apr 04
Posts: 3754
Credit: 388,028
RAC: 123
Italy
Message 1293348 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 2:25:43 UTC

American bats are suffering from a European disease which does not kill European bats. It was imported as a virus from some cave visitors. I've read this on New Scientist.
Tullio
____________

Profile JulieProject donor
Volunteer moderator
Volunteer tester
Avatar
Send message
Joined: 28 Oct 09
Posts: 21988
Credit: 3,922,428
RAC: 6,398
Belgium
Message 1293442 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 11:20:24 UTC

Funny, Blurf:)
____________


rOZZ

rob smithProject donor
Volunteer tester
Send message
Joined: 7 Mar 03
Posts: 8535
Credit: 59,258,966
RAC: 82,744
United Kingdom
Message 1293497 - Posted: 10 Oct 2012, 16:19:25 UTC

Keep taking the tablets Blurf - and when you've finished doing that can you send a cleaner over to dry out my keyboard please....
____________
Bob Smith
Member of Seti PIPPS (Pluto is a Planet Protest Society)
Somewhere in the (un)known Universe?

Message boards : Cafe SETI : Tuesday Puns

Copyright © 2014 University of California