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Funny Answering Machine Messages
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Author | Message |
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Terror Australis Send message Joined: 14 Feb 04 Posts: 1817 Credit: 262,693,308 RAC: 44 |
The comedy answering machine message has become an artform in itself. Here are 2 of my favourites. What are yours ? 1) (in an operator type voice) "The number you have dialed is unreal, please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again". 2) "Sorry I can't take your call right now, However, this is an answering machine, this is the 21st century, you should know what to do" or the shortened form, "You know who it is, you know what to do". T.A. |
Sirius B Send message Joined: 26 Dec 00 Posts: 24879 Credit: 3,081,182 RAC: 7 |
New style auto-menu & totally politically incorrect. Please press 1 if you can speak English Please press 2 if you cannot "Thank you for pressing 2: Please come back when you can" |
Bill Walker Send message Joined: 4 Sep 99 Posts: 3868 Credit: 2,697,267 RAC: 0 |
A good one, many years ago, from a co-worker. A TV set is playing loudly in the background, and the message starts: "Hello?" long pause "Yeah" long pause "hang on a minute" sound of someone walking away, TV being turned down, someone walking back to the phone "OK" long pause "Oh, by the way, this is a recording..." Yes, he got me. |
John McLeod VII Send message Joined: 15 Jul 99 Posts: 24806 Credit: 790,712 RAC: 0 |
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.clair. Send message Joined: 4 Nov 04 Posts: 1300 Credit: 55,390,408 RAC: 69 |
For those that remember `Mork and Mindy` Mork used to `phone home` telepathicaly at the end of each show. And on one of them he got the other persons answerphone. "I am sorry but i am out of my mind at the moment please call back later" you get the idea :¬) |
Ex: "Socialist" Send message Joined: 12 Mar 12 Posts: 3433 Credit: 2,616,158 RAC: 2 |
#1. "Believe it or not, George isn't home. #2. The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now. #resist |
Angela Send message Joined: 16 Oct 07 Posts: 13130 Credit: 39,854,104 RAC: 31 |
Dave 2, you really need to use that first one!!! |
Donald L. Johnson Send message Joined: 5 Aug 02 Posts: 8240 Credit: 14,654,533 RAC: 20 |
Hi! You've reached the Johnson residence. Due to all the fund-raising politicians, telemarketers with auto-dialers, and morons who can't correctly dial the local pizza place, we're sending all our calls to the answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and we'll get back to you as soon as we get around to it. Donald Infernal Optimist / Submariner, retired |
The Simonator Send message Joined: 18 Nov 04 Posts: 5700 Credit: 3,855,702 RAC: 50 |
My answer phone already has HAL on it, using clips from the film. Probably breaks some copyright but i don't care. It goes thusly: Take a message please HAL I'm sorry Dave, i'm afraid i can't do that We've been over this before, my name's Simon. Now what's the problem? I think you know what the problem is just as well as i do. HAL, i won't ask again, take a message! This conversation can serve no purpose any more. *Beep* Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge. |
Gary Charpentier Send message Joined: 25 Dec 00 Posts: 30649 Credit: 53,134,872 RAC: 32 |
Do not hang up. Telemarketing Captcha must be solved to reach a human. You have three tries or you will be 976 billed $1000. To solve in Russian press 1 To solve in Greek press 2 To solve in Latin press 3 To solve in Aramaic press 4 To solve in Tagalog press 5 To solve in Pashto press 6 To solve in Hebrew press 7 To solve in Mandarin press 8 To solve in Spanglish press 9 To solve in French press 0 To repeat this menu press * To accept 976 charge press # or hang up |
Julie Send message Joined: 28 Oct 09 Posts: 34053 Credit: 18,883,157 RAC: 18 |
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