Wonder how many I get on this one? Got numerous already quoting the law regarding impersonation...

Want fast service? Then try this.....


The other day I needed to go to the local NHS hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID card that I had made off the Internet onto the front of my jacket.

When I went into the hospital, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.



It also works at all supermarkets. It saves me hours..

At the Laundry, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running!

Don't try it at McDonald's though..... The whole staff disappeared and I never got my order !!!!!

Also.......... never wear it while trying to get a taxi !!

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Wonder how many I get on this one? Got numerous already quoting the law regarding impersonation...

Want fast service? Then try this.....


The other day I needed to go to the local NHS hospital but not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my blue jacket and pinned on a plastic ID card that I had made off the Internet onto the front of my jacket.

When I went into the hospital, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.



It also works at all supermarkets. It saves me hours..

At the Laundry, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running!

Don't try it at McDonald's though..... The whole staff disappeared and I never got my order !!!!!

Also.......... never wear it while trying to get a taxi !!

ROFL...

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I would not have thought that going public about this was in your best interests, but that is up to you. OK it might be meant as a joke, but HMRC are not known for their sense of humour.

For crying out loud! It was a "politically Incorrect" joke!

I think Mark got the title of this thread "SPOT ON!"

As WE CAN NO LONGER have a laugh & joke, lets all join together & shoot the hell out of each other!

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Sirius, you thought Chris's reply was serious? It was a joke reply. Gosh, as someone in a brilliant mode wrote, As WE CAN NO LONGER have a laugh & joke, lets all join together & shoot the hell out of each other!

<SMILE>

I mean, after all, if you want to post serious stuff, post it in the Politics message board. Oh --- oops -- never mind.

I'd better not post the "Trucker's Ode" then, lest I get arrested for inciting racial hatred.

As for the HMRC, they are more than welcome to try & take me on as that joke came from the HMRC in an e-mail addressed to me as the person has a great sense of humour & is well aware of my propensity for pranks.

@BarryZ, I knew that Chris was serious! Ask me no questions & I'll tell you no lies!

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I like it Sirius, and think I might try it when I come down to Cambridge then walk the streets. But it badge will be the The UK Badger Agency

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

I like it Sirius, and think I might try it when I come down to Cambridge then walk the streets. But it badge will be the The UK Badger Agency

Love it....make sure its the Westminister Division of said agency.

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Yeah, I know, but MY reply wasn't serious, it wasn't even sirius

@BarryZ, I knew that Chris was serious! Ask me no questions & I'll tell you no lies!

Yeah, I know, but MY reply wasn't serious, it wasn't even sirius

@BarryZ, I knew that Chris was serious! Ask me no questions & I'll tell you no lies!

LOL. Just trying to find my copy of the "Truckers Ode". You know what they say...."in for a penny, in for a pound"

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Hey, I wasn't serious, or even Sirius, but please, don't call me Shirley.
By now, most of you should know that my sense of humour has no bounds, and takes no prisoners.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

But shirley you understand that the best of humor has an element of truth in it and it give the author a way out of being held accountable, in the same fashion as some books have been written, like "Animal Farm." I laughed at your humor when I first read it. The problem is, nobody can tell what I'm laughing at. Am I laughing at the surprise ending (another element of good humor), or am I laughing at how you made fun of those who support things like larger government and their just rewards? Well, it depends on who you are and what your philosophy is on government and my decision on whether or not I want to show you I agree with you, offend you, or console you.

I was personally laughing at the end of the second paragraph. Reading further made me laugh even more.

Orwell was a socialist, and that ain't no joke. ;)

But shirley you understand that the best of humor has an element of truth in it and it give the author a way out of being held accountable, in the same fashion as some books have been written, like "Animal Farm." I laughed at your humor when I first read it. The problem is, nobody can tell what I'm laughing at. Am I laughing at the surprise ending (another element of good humor), or am I laughing at how you made fun of those who support things like larger government and their just rewards? Well, it depends on who you are and what your philosophy is on government and my decision on whether or not I want to show you I agree with you, offend you, or console you.

I was personally laughing at the end of the second paragraph. Reading further made me laugh even more.

Orwell was a socialist, and that ain't no joke. ;)

So was Jesus but you can't convince conservatives of that

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In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
Diogenes Of Sinope

Psychology 101

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.

The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment...... with enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by the fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked.

Now, the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, not one of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask? Because in their minds...that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Congress operates...

On the origins of "tradition" :-)

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I think you'll find it's a bit more complicated than that ...

This, my friends, is how Congress operates...

Stare Decisis!

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MacHamza

On a more sirius note, he's you're problem now. Hope you give him his nice dessert as he's had a very long dinner here!

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MacHamza

On a more sirius note, he's you're problem now. Hope you give him his nice dessert as he's had a very long dinner here!

We have a nice hell hole prepared. I'm sure he'll do just fine in general population. About a week before he gets acquainted with the sharp end of a shiv.

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MacHamza

On a more sirius note, he's you're problem now. Hope you give him his nice dessert as he's had a very long dinner here!

We have a nice hell hole prepared. I'm sure he'll do just fine in general population. About a week before he gets acquainted with the sharp end of a shiv.

Excellent. For breakfast on that day, I'd suggest giving him a BLT sandwich to see him off.

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For breakfast on that day, I'd suggest giving him a BLT sandwich to see him off.

American prisons can't afford BLT. Bologna on dry white is the best it gets. And I don't think it is halal either.

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