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What are PARAPROSDOKIANS?
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Bob DeWoody Send message Joined: 9 May 10 Posts: 3387 Credit: 4,182,900 RAC: 10 |
PARAPROSDOKIANS I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. OK, so now enjoy! 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 22. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. 28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were. 29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. 30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Words of Wisdom "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." Bob DeWoody My motto: Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow as it may not be required. This no longer applies in light of current events. |
Scarecrow Send message Joined: 15 Jul 00 Posts: 4520 Credit: 486,601 RAC: 0 |
Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected And here I thought that was the group that's all the time leaving Watch Towers on my door! Does "I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman but I have woke up with a few." qualify? |
Bob DeWoody Send message Joined: 9 May 10 Posts: 3387 Credit: 4,182,900 RAC: 10 |
I think that qualifies. Bob DeWoody My motto: Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow as it may not be required. This no longer applies in light of current events. |
soft^spirit Send message Joined: 18 May 99 Posts: 6497 Credit: 34,134,168 RAC: 0 |
To Err is human. To forgive is not our policy. Janice |
KWSN - Sir William The Flagrantly Verbose Send message Joined: 28 Apr 00 Posts: 829 Credit: 11,757,678 RAC: 0 |
To Err is human. To forgive is not our policy. Here's a version from my days in the USMC: To err is human. To forgive is Divine. Neither is Marine Corps policy. "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell |
KWSN - Sir William The Flagrantly Verbose Send message Joined: 28 Apr 00 Posts: 829 Credit: 11,757,678 RAC: 0 |
And another... JOIN THE MARINES. TRAVEL TO EXCITING FOREIGN PLACES, MEET NEW EXOTIC PEOPLE... AND KILL THEM. "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell |
James Sotherden Send message Joined: 16 May 99 Posts: 10436 Credit: 110,373,059 RAC: 54 |
When all else fails, Read the directions. [/quote] Old James |
perryjay Send message Joined: 20 Aug 02 Posts: 3377 Credit: 20,676,751 RAC: 0 |
And another... I always heard for the Army it was Join the Army, see the world... A shovel full at a time. PROUD MEMBER OF Team Starfire World BOINC |
KWSN - Sir William The Flagrantly Verbose Send message Joined: 28 Apr 00 Posts: 829 Credit: 11,757,678 RAC: 0 |
The meek shall inherit the Earth... in 6 foot by 3 foot sections... "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell |
KWSN - Sir William The Flagrantly Verbose Send message Joined: 28 Apr 00 Posts: 829 Credit: 11,757,678 RAC: 0 |
"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell |
Dimly Lit Lightbulb 😀 Send message Joined: 30 Aug 08 Posts: 15399 Credit: 7,423,413 RAC: 1 |
To Err is human. To forgive is not our policy. To err is human. To f*** things up completely requires a computer. Taken from the computer lab at my old college :). |
Julie Send message Joined: 28 Oct 09 Posts: 34041 Credit: 18,883,157 RAC: 18 |
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Julie Send message Joined: 28 Oct 09 Posts: 34041 Credit: 18,883,157 RAC: 18 |
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KWSN - Sir William The Flagrantly Verbose Send message Joined: 28 Apr 00 Posts: 829 Credit: 11,757,678 RAC: 0 |
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised" ROFLMAO! "People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." - Orwell |
soft^spirit Send message Joined: 18 May 99 Posts: 6497 Credit: 34,134,168 RAC: 0 |
The greatest thing about television is: If something important happens, at any time, anywhere in the world, ....You can always change the channel. (Rev. Jim Ignatowski, Taxi) Janice |
Julie Send message Joined: 28 Oct 09 Posts: 34041 Credit: 18,883,157 RAC: 18 |
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Mike Send message Joined: 17 Feb 01 Posts: 34253 Credit: 79,922,639 RAC: 80 |
No serious, what are paraprosdokians? is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.[1] With each crime and every kindness we birth our future. |
skildude Send message Joined: 4 Oct 00 Posts: 9541 Credit: 50,759,529 RAC: 60 |
or I shot an Elephant in my Pajamas, How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. Groucho In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face. Diogenes Of Sinope |
Michael John Hind Send message Joined: 6 Feb 07 Posts: 1330 Credit: 3,632,028 RAC: 0 |
"Sir your drunk".... "And madam your ugly, but in the morning I will be sober" |
celttooth Send message Joined: 21 Nov 99 Posts: 26503 Credit: 28,583,098 RAC: 0 |
like the man said "he I want to be two with the universe" |
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