My wife hates to go grocery shopping, I Dont mind it at all. Being as I work 3rd shift I go right after work. No crowds and full shelves. My dad used to do the shopping when I was growing up. But a lot of times we would all go when he got home.

I do the laundry. learned how to do that growing up to. Came in handy when I enlisted in the Air Force. I also can do ironing, A skill I perfected in the Air force also. Wife will catch me doing a dress shirt and say I would have done that, I say you were busy.

I do the garbage, mow the lawn, shovel snow till im sick to death of it. Do dishes when needed by hand or use the dishwasher.

Now the wife cleans the stove top and does the bathrooms. Say I dont do it good enough. She can have the bathroom I hate cleaning toilets.

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[/quote]

Old James

I'm glad you appreciate what he does, that's probably why you've been together so long.

We have been together so long because we love each other. No other reason than that is necessary.

I'm glad you appreciate what he does, that's probably why you've been together so long.

We have been together so long because we love each other. No other reason than that is necessary.

You're such a romantic. LOL.

I think love soon dies without respect and appreciation of each other.

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Reality Internet Personality

self modded

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With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

You're such a romantic. LOL.
I think love soon dies without respect and appreciation of each other.

Perhaps I am a romantic, but I believe that love can see you through pain and despair and torment and temptation. I am 100% sure that Eric is incapable of any words or actions that would ever make me stop loving him. Sure I respect him. Sure I appreciate him. Respect and appreciation are not enough. I love him.

I agree, I'm not sure love without respect and appreciation is possible.

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@SETIEric@qoto.org (Mastodon)

Well dear, even though you just agreed with Esme, I still LOVE you!!! (I suppose you physicists have got to stick together...)

Alright, I will throw you both a bone. In most cases respect and appreciation are necessary for love, but I do not believe they are sufficient to constitute love. I think "love" is bigger than the sum of its parts.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a silly person who believes that there is one person and one person alone for each of us. The human species would die out pretty quickly if each of us had to traverse the globe searching for our "one". To be completely unromantic about it, I suppose that "love" is a mental shift that makes it impossible for you to be with anyone but the one you love.

I have a friend who calls herself a "serial monogamer". She has had many long term, happy relationships. She has a son with her current partner. The poor man appears to love my friend and he has wanted to marry her for years. My friend respects her current partner. She appreciates her current partner. She is still living with her current partner and their darling little boy is in kindergarten already. My friend simply will not marry her current partner because she knows that with time she will move on to somebody else and she does not want the hassle of untangling a marriage. I hope, someday, she finds love.

"Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself."

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
.Love possesses not - nor would it be possessed;
.For love is sufficient unto love."

~ Kahlil Gibran From "The Prophet"~On Love

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...
BETTER THE WORLD ~ PAY IT FORWARD
...

Well dear, even though you just agreed with Esme, I still LOVE you!!! (I suppose you physicists have got to stick together...)

I didn't realise agreeing with me was such a crime! People have agreed with me about things before, believe it or not!! :p

Alright, I will throw you both a bone. In most cases respect and appreciation are necessary for love, but I do not believe they are sufficient to constitute love. I think "love" is bigger than the sum of its parts.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a silly person who believes that there is one person and one person alone for each of us. The human species would die out pretty quickly if each of us had to traverse the globe searching for our "one". To be completely unromantic about it, I suppose that "love" is a mental shift that makes it impossible for you to be with anyone but the one you love.

I have a friend who calls herself a "serial monogamer". She has had many long term, happy relationships. She has a son with her current partner. The poor man appears to love my friend and he has wanted to marry her for years. My friend respects her current partner. She appreciates her current partner. She is still living with her current partner and their darling little boy is in kindergarten already. My friend simply will not marry her current partner because she knows that with time she will move on to somebody else and she does not want the hassle of untangling a marriage. I hope, someday, she finds love.

I used to have the same belief you do Angela. That love was itself enough. From my own personal experience I am of the firm opinion that it's not.

Finding love is one thing, but keeping it is something that has to be worked at. You might do it easily and naturally, either because of your nature or because you and Eric are both good at treating each other with respect.

Your friend might go on to find love, or she might have already found it. I am wary of marriage because I think that it can mean that people stop making the effort they need to do to stay together and they start taking each other for granted. My boyfriend said from day one that he always wanted to have to work at our relationship and I assured him that I would make sure that happened :D

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Reality Internet Personality

I didn't realise agreeing with me was such a crime!

LOL friend! You and I agree about many things, as you well know. I always enjoy chatting with you both in public and privately.

I am wary of marriage because I think that it can mean that people stop making the effort they need to do to stay together and they start taking each other for granted.

I'm hardly an expert on marriage, having only done it once, but it is my experience that marriage makes it EASIER for a person to accept his or her partner's little short-comings.

In our dating days, I used to have a visceral reaction each time I came upon a soda can that Eric had abandoned. My mental response went something like "I do NOT have to put up with this! I am NOT that man's mother! OMG he left a can on the table and now there is another %^&*()^%$#%&*()^%$#$%^&*()*^%$ ring!!!!! Do they not have coasters in Wisconsin? Why can't that man remember to rinse and recycle these cans? And why does he drink so much soda anyway???!!!"

Now I know this is going to sound insane, but after we got married my whole attitude started to change. Now when I happen upon a soda can, it simply reminds me that Eric's absent-minded nature is part of what I love about him. He doesn't leave his cans all over the place on purpose. He simply moves through life in a mildly distracted state. I prefer to believe it is because he is busy thinking deep thoughts, but who knows? He could just be re-running an episode of "Eek the Cat" in his head! Nevertheless, now when I encounter an abandoned soda can my mental response is more along the lines of "Oh goody! An Easter egg hunt!!! Look, a green one! (Mountain Dew) Ooooooh I found a red one! (Coke) Hey! A clear bottle! Yeah!!! He substituted a bottle of that unsweetened iced tea I got him in place of one of his sodas!"

Now I'll admit that I've given you a rather extreme example. I can't claim that I don't still get a little annoyed by things... (Eric's den, for example!!!) Eric is not perfect, but hey... newsflash... neither am I!

Esme, I do not think you should assume the power that love and marriage has to excuse partners from working on their relationship is necessarily a bad thing. Frankly it can be rather freeing. Most of the time I take Eric's love for granted. I hope he takes my love for granted as well.

I'm hardly an expert on marriage, having only done it once, but it is my experience that marriage makes it EASIER for a person to accept his or her partner's little short-comings.

I never did it..but that is to be expected when two Anarchist Atheists get together. We were together for 12 1/2 years though and had two children.

In our dating days, I used to have a visceral reaction each time I came upon a soda can that Eric had abandoned. My mental response went something like "I do NOT have to put up with this! I am NOT that man's mother! OMG he left a can on the table and now there is another %^&*()^%$#%&*()^%$#$%^&*()*^%$ ring!!!!! Do they not have coasters in Wisconsin? Why can't that man remember to rinse and recycle these cans? And why does he drink so much soda anyway???!!!"

Now I know this is going to sound insane, but after we got married my whole attitude started to change. Now when I happen upon a soda can, it simply reminds me that Eric's absent-minded nature is part of what I love about him. He doesn't leave his cans all over the place on purpose. He simply moves through life in a mildly distracted state. I prefer to believe it is because he is busy thinking deep thoughts, but who knows? He could just be re-running an episode of "Eek the Cat" in his head! Nevertheless, now when I encounter an abandoned soda can my mental response is more along the lines of "Oh goody! An Easter egg hunt!!! Look, a green one! (Mountain Dew) Ooooooh I found a red one! (Coke) Hey! A clear bottle! Yeah!!! He substituted a bottle of that unsweetened iced tea I got him in place of one of his sodas!"

Now I'll admit that I've given you a rather extreme example. I can't claim that I don't still get a little annoyed by things... (Eric's den, for example!!!) Eric is not perfect, but hey... newsflash... neither am I!

Esme, I do not think you should assume the power that love and marriage has to excuse partners from working on their relationship is necessarily a bad thing. Frankly it can be rather freeing. Most of the time I take Eric's love for granted. I hope he takes my love for granted as well.

My experience was very different. Soda cans here or there are one thing, but I think I was too forgiving and in the end I was treated with so little respect it was embarrassing. It was a one way street that set a bad example to my children. If I ever catch them treating any of their girlfriends the way their father treated me they'll hear about it from me...and if their girlfriends ever let them then I'll have a word with them too. There is a line between forgiving things because you love someone and being a doormat, and it's a line that can be crossed gradually without you knowing about it.

If I sound cynical it's because I am! LOL!

....and if you ask me Eric should pick up his own soda cans!

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Reality Internet Personality

Im no expert on marriage either. Though I have done it 3 times. I believe communications is the most important componet of a marriage. Thats why my first one ended. I was left a widower in the second. My now wife and I love each other very much. After 14 years being married we know each other very well. Do we irratate each other? Hell yes we do. And you know what? Ive found my love and would not trade her for anything.

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[/quote]

Old James

In my point of view respect is a principal of life.
So no reason to mention it.

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With each crime and every kindness we birth our future.

In my point of view respect is a principal of life.
So no reason to mention it.

Now that's an excellent statement and a worthy thought in reference to the title of this thread.

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Reality Internet Personality

He doesn't leave his cans all over the place on purpose. He simply moves through life in a mildly distracted state.


[Eric support on]
He has a PhD Ang, he has earned the right to!!
[Eric Support off]

Oooooohhhhhhh! So THAT is what is meant by "...with all the rights and privileges pertaining thereto..."
I had always wondered what that line on diplomas meant. Thank you for that clarification, Chris!!!

He doesn't leave his cans all over the place on purpose. He simply moves through life in a mildly distracted state.


[Eric support on]
He has a PhD Ang, he has earned the right to!!
[Eric Support off]

Oooooohhhhhhh! So THAT is what is meant by "...with all the rights and privileges pertaining thereto..."
I had always wondered what that line on diplomas meant. Thank you for that clarification, Chris!!!

I can't remember if you have your own Phd or not, perhaps it's time to get one so you can take advantage of those privileges too?

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Reality Internet Personality

I can't remember if you have your own Phd or not, perhaps it's time to get one so you can take advantage of those privileges too?

Yeah but then nobody would pick up the cans! :-)

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PROUD MEMBER OF Team Starfire World BOINC

I loves to recycle!