Eric keeps his den messy so he can have a safe HAVALLON. He knows Angela wont go in there because she would need a RABIES shot. Allthough that does get her DISTEMPER up.

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Old James

Hi Friends! Just here for a minute. On my way to the grocery store to buy Eric some beer. He likes bitter beer with LAPSO APSO I'll have to make sure that I buy the right brands.

Hi Friends! Just here for a minute. On my way to the grocery store to buy Eric some beer. He likes bitter beer with LAPSO APSO I'll have to make sure that I buy the right brands.

A woman who will buy the right beer for you. That must be pretty hard to beat!

Researchers at the Texas State Zoo in Austin have found that if they feed the porpoises a diet of a particular mynah bird the porpoise’s life span is greatly increased. The other day, while bringing a cage full of the birds to feed the porpoise, the zookeeper had to cross a small bridge over their lion pit. Halfway across he was stopped by a Texas Ranger who stated he was under arrest for violation of the Mann Act. The zookeeper didn’t understand, and asked for an explanation. The Ranger said “The Mann Act… you know, ‘Transporting mynahs across state lions for immortal porpoises’”!

Alan now that is a great whale of a tail. But it makes that Texas Ranger the ANEMONE. Now the zookepper has to get an OTTER job.

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Old James

great whale of a tail...

A great whale's tail? Now that's pretty finny...

You know why Jona didnt like living in the whale? He was constantly BALEEN it out.

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Old James

Tough theme tonight. Already you nearly BELUGA me out of the water...

Oh, yeah, RIGHT... now I get the theme!

Im just swimming with the TIDE. Maybe Ill get WASHED up om shore. And Ill WAVE to you.

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Old James

You son of a BEACH!

Nah. Im an ASH.

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Old James

I intend to SHOVEL puns at you until you PAIL...

If you pour sand down your pants , will you be a BEACH BUM? OR just get a case of the LAND CRABS.

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Old James

Ouch! Either way goes against the GRAIN. So how soon until you throw in the TOWEL?

Throw in the towel not on your LIFEBELT BUOY.

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Old James

Jim, how GULLible are you? If I had a SAND DOLLAR for every time you tried to turn the TIDE in a pun war, my NET worth would be impressive! I hate to sound like a CRAB who won't CLAM up, but unless you are really on the BALL tonight, I'm going to CONCH you on the head and leave you KELPLESS. How does that SUIT you?

Now i sure would hate to get the HORSESHOE CRABS.

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Old James

If you do, you'll have to tell your wife and SHELL leave you so fast all you'll see is FOOTPRINTS in the sand...

That sure would be a fine MARSH to get in. Be hard to get out of that SEA PICKEL.

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Old James