Good evening, Its friday night for the criminally bad punsters.

Here is one that I heard on an old radio program called Fibber Magee and Molly.
A wife askes her Husband to walk to the store in a raging rainstorm to buy a goose for supper. The man replys that its not fit to go outside for, Man nor Geese.

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Old James

So I says to my friend........
Take my wife........please.........
Henny Youngman....wayyyyyyyyyyyyy before most of you time.

Am I too late for the garbage??

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Always remember.....kitties are all Angels with fur.
'Cat lives matter.'

Have made friends in this life.
Most were cats.

Sorry I missed the festivities tonight. We spent a pleasant, but busy, day with house guests.

Mark, I'm sure that if you asked Lori what she thought of marriage she would say it has a nice RING to it.

Angela, How RICE that you are here.

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Old James

Yeah, yeah... strike up the BAND.

Id say any girl who gets married, deserves the MAID of HONOUR.

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Old James

I am just too tired tonight to get into a long pun ALTARcation...

So your going to THROW the bouquet in early.

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Old James

Yes, I'm TOAST and I know from past experience that a long pun war can be a CHAMPAGNE in the... (don't think I can say that here.)

I hear that. So how dowry are you? qwerty yourself maybe?

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Old James

Jim, your puns are like a wedding cake. They bring me to TIERS...

Ive seen some weddings wear the bride and groom eat there cake and wear it too.

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Old James

Thank goodness Eric and I were not cake smashers! If he had tried that on me, he would not have gotten a good RECEPTION.

Thank goodness Eric and I were not cake smashers! If he had tried that on me, he would not have gotten a good RECEPTION.

LOL the only ring he would have heard is that frying pan bouncing off his head. He'd be seeing a MOON from his HONEY.

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Old James

Yes, such behavior would have given me a LICENSE to kill, and I wouldn't even care if there were WITNESSES!

would you have TIED the KNOT around his neck?

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Old James

Perhaps... at the very least I'd have given him his WEDDING MARCHing orders!

Well Jim, tonight's pun war really takes the CAKE, but since we have GUESTS right now, I really can't stay here at this WEDDING PARTY any longer. You will just have to BRIDE your time until I can return. About the only thing I will have time to do this weekend is MINISTER to our guests, and maybe GROOM our cats, but I promise to return next weekend.

So without further CEREMONY, I say to you "goodnight punsters!!!"

Good night Angela. It was fun walking down the aisle with you tonight:)

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Old James

A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

Theres something about a wedding on a well manicured lawn that gets me all GRASSY-eyed.

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Old James