Puns O Fun

Good evening, Its friday night for the criminally bad punsters.

Here is one that I heard on an old radio program called Fibber Magee and Molly.
A wife askes her Husband to walk to the store in a raging rainstorm to buy a goose for supper. The man replys that its not fit to go outside for, Man nor Geese.


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So I says to my friend........
Take my wife........please.........
Henny Youngman....wayyyyyyyyyyyyy before most of you time.

Am I too late for the garbage??
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"Ask not, what your kitty can do for you. Ask what you can do for your kitty."

As it is kitten, so shall it be done.

Sorry I missed the festivities tonight. We spent a pleasant, but busy, day with house guests.

Mark, I'm sure that if you asked Lori what she thought of marriage she would say it has a nice RING to it.

Angela, How RICE that you are here.
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Yeah, yeah... strike up the BAND.

Id say any girl who gets married, deserves the MAID of HONOUR.
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I am just too tired tonight to get into a long pun ALTARcation...

So your going to THROW the bouquet in early.
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Yes, I'm TOAST and I know from past experience that a long pun war can be a CHAMPAGNE in the... (don't think I can say that here.)

I hear that. So how dowry are you? qwerty yourself maybe?
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Jim, your puns are like a wedding cake. They bring me to TIERS...

Ive seen some weddings wear the bride and groom eat there cake and wear it too.
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Thank goodness Eric and I were not cake smashers! If he had tried that on me, he would not have gotten a good RECEPTION.

Thank goodness Eric and I were not cake smashers! If he had tried that on me, he would not have gotten a good RECEPTION.

Yes, such behavior would have given me a LICENSE to kill, and I wouldn't even care if there were WITNESSES!

would you have TIED the KNOT around his neck?
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Perhaps... at the very least I'd have given him his WEDDING MARCHing orders!

Well Jim, tonight's pun war really takes the CAKE, but since we have GUESTS right now, I really can't stay here at this WEDDING PARTY any longer. You will just have to BRIDE your time until I can return. About the only thing I will have time to do this weekend is MINISTER to our guests, and maybe GROOM our cats, but I promise to return next weekend.

So without further CEREMONY, I say to you "goodnight punsters!!!"

Good night Angela. It was fun walking down the aisle with you tonight:)

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A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

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LETS BEGIN IN 2010

Theres something about a wedding on a well manicured lawn that gets me all GRASSY-eyed.
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