What do my peers say?

Seems asking the question doesn't mean anything when the answer isn't what you seek

But..........I have to say............

There may have been few here that knew how close I was...............\
A few ounces of something in the last drink............a few ounces of pull on the trigger..........and I might join Oscar.........I may do so yet. Join him in peace.........God might forgive me for that.

So as not to appear HOSTILE it seems all I can do is agree with Mark.
A dead cat is a worthy and romantic cause for the actions you describe and I fully support you in following Oscar to the other side.

Don't make a mess

Robert...Robert.

You obviously chose to ignore the statement I made in the first post in the thread.......

"Let me tell all of you that I shall not harm myself........no matter what I posture. It will not happen........"

I was in the depths of despair, and whether you personally sympathize with me or not, you would be surprised by the number of supportive PMs and emails I have received about my feelings about the loss of my dear friend Oscar.

Some people try to ridicule what they do not understand or are incapable of feeling themselves. Others extend a hand.

And there are many here that have kind hearts. It makes a lot of difference to me.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

It was a cat, dude.

It was a cat, dude.

Yes, it was Robert. A very much loved cat who returned as much love as he was given... A very special cat. He had ways about him unlike any cat I have ever known. Had he died of old age, it would have been a totally different pill to swallow. But to have him taken by cancer at only 8-1/2 years old made the pain much harder to take.
It's really impossible for me to explain it to you if you do not also love cats.

I never had children. These cats that I know and love are the closest I will ever get to knowing that kind of love.

That's what it was about.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I have compassion for virtually everyone.

My disgust comes from the endless reams you post about this cat or the millions of tears you cry for people because of your sensitive soul...yet you go on to post your willingness to shoot other humans crossing the border.

You have discussions about the use of hollow point vs armour piercing rounds when shooting at humans, then go on to spout off about your deep religious beliefs.

I don't care about your cat and I can't follow the emotional roller-coaster that you call a life.

Just keep crunching big numbers and seek some perspective.

I have compassion for virtually everyone.

My disgust comes from the endless reams you post about this cat or the millions of tears you cry for people because of your sensitive soul...yet you go on to post your willingness to shoot other humans crossing the border.

You have discussions about the use of hollow point vs armour piercing rounds when shooting at humans, then go on to spout off about your deep religious beliefs.

I don't care about your cat and I can't follow the emotional roller-coaster that you call a life.

Just keep crunching big numbers and seek some perspective.

Sometimes I have a hard time holding onto the roller coaster myself.

Thank you for at least expressing your criticism in somewhat civil terms.
That I shall accept. You are entitled to do that.

I am not a saint.....and I know my opinions can seem diametrically opposed at times...they do not always mesh into a coherent fabric.

Sometimes it's not easy being me. But....it is me, nonetheless.

And if I ask too many times for sympathy or approval, I am not really sorry for that, but I guess you are right, I am sometimes a very needy person.

And most on these forums have given me the latitude to be that person.

Robert......I apologize if I have offended you directly, I did not think I had. If my opinions sometimes offend you, please discuss them when and where they occur.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Sometimes I have a hard time holding onto the roller coaster myself.

Mark, on many occasions in your posts you seem to refer to a/some God. Why don't you try reading your bible and take it to heart. My little understanding of religion is that it is supposed to give one comfort, peace or whatever in difficult times.

One minute you mention God, the next you want to blow you brains out...

Maybe, you need a different religion that will actually help you in difficult times; it appears that the current one you have is not 'cutting it'.

I've lost a lot more cats than you and I know I drink a lot more Maker's Mark (and Absinthe), but never have I thought of leaving this mortal coil because of a dead pet cat. Come on buddy!

OK..................

Let me try to give some of you a little glimpse into the soul of a manic depressive......if you care.

I connected rather well to the movie Groundhog Day.....

Because that's kinda like it is......only not so funny. (It was a great movie.)

Every day you wake up and the world is still the same.......nothing has gone away, nothing has gotten better.....it seems only the bad things have stayed there. The good things fade. And so you are left with this mass of bad things that weight you down and keep growing.

Mind you.....as I told Robert, I can carry the weight, and will not let them take me down......but I will grumble about it. My younger brother gave in.....but I shall NOT.

It was like that today.......I woke up.......out of some crazy, crazy dreams.

And within seconds realized that I was in the same emotional toil that I have been in for years.......

And some of you wonder why I drink.

Quit telling me to get 'help', and quit telling me to quit drinking.....I am not now, by the way.

I am locked in my own little hell, in my own little mind.....and will be here until I die. And that time and place will be determined by my God.....NOT by my own hand......

I hope I have made that clear. Even when, in my worst moments, I allude to such.

So please just accept me for the tortured soul that I am, and reach out to me once in a while if you can or choose to.....or don't.

Your choice.

I live for the few days when the dreams have not been so bad, and the waking up part is not so much a nightmare.

Manic depressives are not bad people. Nor do they all do bad things to themselves. They tend to cry a lot, as I do. Not a real bad thing, I might mention, some would do well to show their emotions....it helps. Instead of just hiding behind snotty posts. A very few of you are just me, but hiding it.

One thing that manic depressives are good at is letting it out.......it's what keeps them afloat. Otherwise we would drown in what we perceive as the world's injustices against us.

I do have some good days, friends.....my Squirrel kitty is sitting here by my side, meowing for attention. Which I am giving her.
This is good.

Now if I never had to sleep or deal with life as most of you know it, all would be good.

Now can some of you understand just a little bit? Or are you just gonna go off on me again and tell me to get some fn' help? Ain't gonna happen, I am too proud for that. I will suffer my fate until God calls me home.

The thing is.....
It only takes one kind word to reverse a whole day of bad thoughts...........

THAT's why I seem to be such a needy person........

And why I treasure my friends here at Seti.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Robert......I apologize if I have offended you directly, I did not think I had. If my opinions sometimes offend you, please discuss them when and where they occur.

Thanks for that Mark, but there's no need to apologize because you haven't directly offended me.

I believe the problem I've had with your posts are in my inability to know where you're coming from at any given time.

Trying to follow the lines of logic becomes impossible when you take so many differing perspectives that are in complete opposition to each other.
After reading your description of life as a manic depressive, I feel I've gained a small insight into the swings you must go through.
This gives me reason to apologize to you, and I do.

Having said this, I would ask that you try to tone down the hateful aspects of some of your darker thoughts. This will help me to not feel I must make some type of response in order that the idea expressed doesn't hang out there and be thought of as acceptable.

PS: I've lost much loved pets too and I do care.
Sorry about Oscar

Robert......I apologize if I have offended you directly, I did not think I had. If my opinions sometimes offend you, please discuss them when and where they occur.

Thanks for that Mark, but there's no need to apologize because you haven't directly offended me.

I believe the problem I've had with your posts are in my inability to know where you're coming from at any given time.

Trying to follow the lines of logic becomes impossible when you take so many differing perspectives that are in complete opposition to each other.
After reading your description of life as a manic depressive, I feel I've gained a small insight into the swings you must go through.
This gives me reason to apologize to you, and I do.

Having said this, I would ask that you try to tone down the hateful aspects of some of your darker thoughts. This will help me to not feel I must make some type of response in order that the idea expressed doesn't hang out there and be thought of as acceptable.

PS: I've lost much loved pets too and I do care.
Sorry about Oscar

OMG........
Thank you Robert.

And may my or your God bless you for having the nerve to give me an apology.

I am sooooo glad that my short explanation of manic depressive helped you to understand.....
I really did not expect anybody to understand. I never thought, really, that anybody would realize through my simple explanation what it is really like.....It's something, like cats, that's hard to explain to somebody that has not lived though it themselves, or through a loved one.

Maybe, just now.....you have a glimpse into why I cherish my cats soooooooooo much, and why I took the loss of one, who was special beyond belief, so hard.

But, my friend......it is real. And I shall suffer through it.

Thank you Robert. Your words were the kind ones I needed for the day.......
You made me smile......go figure. Didn't think that would happen yesterday.

You get a gold star.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well, you just made me smile too.
That doesn't mean you get a free pass on future posts though...LOL

Well, you just made me smile too.
That doesn't mean you get a free pass on future posts though...LOL

You amazed me Robert, Have a great day!

---

Official Abuser of Boinc Buttons...
And no good credit hound!

The last thing I will say on the subject, unless somebody requests a further response.....

Is the old Bo Diddly song......played by many. This is the old CCR version......actually, Clapton played it more, was one of his favorites.

Keep it in mind before you weigh judgment on others.......you don't always know where they came from.

I have been both the accuser and the accused......so I know what I am talking about.

Meow meow.....purr purr.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Well, you just made me smile too.
That doesn't mean you get a free pass on future posts though...LOL

Fair enough.......smiles go miles......

Let's hope the next one is not too far down the road.

Thank you Robert......two smiles in one day is a bit much. Next you will want a group hug. LOL.

With all sincerity........meow.

Luv ya bro.......a man with a big heart is hard to find.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I believe there are a lot more people who would help you get to the other side, than help you on this side-regardless of the many PMs and emails recieved to the contrary.

I commend R.W. for railing against you, but now think his capitulations ridiculous.

Twisted logic, explanations, and all your seemingly masterful rebuttals will not sway the ones who truely would love to help you cross over.

There is a pile of chickens waiting for you.

Of course you will might say if it's a pile of your favorite furries, it would be fine with you.

You might also say you don't have an answer for everything, but you seem to always have them.

The Manic Depressive Way. Good for you. Bad for the ones who would love to help.

I know, I know, you ain't asking for it.

Cluck cluck. The stack awaits you.

I believe there are a lot more people who would help you get to the other side, than help you on this side-regardless of the many PMs and emails recieved to the contrary.

I commend R.W. for railing against you, but now think his capitulations ridiculous.

Twisted logic, explanations, and all your seemingly masterful rebuttals will not sway the ones who truely would love to help you cross over.

There is a pile of chickens waiting for you.

Of course you will might say if it's a pile of your favorite furries, it would be fine with you.

You might also say you don't have an answer for everything, but you seem to always have them.

The Manic Depressive Way. Good for you. Bad for the ones who would love to help.

I know, I know, you ain't asking for it.

Cluck cluck. The stack awaits you.

God shall take me when and where he deems appropriate...........

I really hope it shall not be soon, 'cuz I love my friends on this plane.........

I don't have an answer to everything........only HE does......

I just try to explain them the best as I can, as he (or her) relays them to me in my thoughts and dreams.........
At least you diss me in a gentle sort of way..........

I have answers to a lot of things.....they just never seem to apply to me somehow......
Keep stacking them livestock, Mr. Chicken.

Some day my thoughts may apply to you. And the you shall understand.

Meow.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

OMG...............
I just realized that my memory banks have reached their limit........
What is that in the human mind........a few trillobytes?

And this should tell you something.........
A little vid from my Dixie Chicks.......about Alzheimer's disease......which I suspect I am succumbing to........but as long as you suspect it, you are not quite giving in yet......are you?

Dixies......sad song.......be prepared for the sad truth...many of you will be here one day soon.........
Whether you wish to admit it or not.

Dixies.......Top of The World...

View at the risk of your emotions and beliefs.................................
Cuz.......every one is singin'...they just wanna be heard......somehow.

It's rather hard to see someone you love die slowly, like Oscar did.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Anger is the usual human response to adversity.

Wired in.

And I am at base level response.

Do you hear me now?

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

I understand we will all end up in RiverWorld. Where there are no chickens or cats. Fish and worms, that's it. And all the Wonderful Humanity a person may or may not desire. The best part is the Suicide Express, where a human can kill themselves and start over in another location on RiverWorld, and thus likely get killed or kill themselves again. Such a never-ending cycle.

Until an Ethical turns off the Resurection Process and person-kind faces The End for Good.

Well, a few Humans make it to The Tower, defeat the Ethicals and in the end turn on the Resurection Process again for The Good or Bad of It All again.

At least they now control and have the ability to go off-planet using the former Ethical Technologies. They can even have chickens and kitties made to order if it pleases them.

Science Fiction. Good stuff.

I understand we will all end up in RiverWorld. Where there are no chickens or cats. Fish and worms, that's it. And all the Wonderful Humanity a person may or may not desire. The best part is the Suicide Express, where a human can kill themselves and start over in another location on RiverWorld, and thus likely get killed or kill themselves again. Such a never-ending cycle.

Until an Ethical turns off the Resurection Process and person-kind faces The End for Good.

Well, a few Humans make it to The Tower, defeat the Ethicals and in the end turn on the Resurection Process again for The Good or Bad of It All again.

At least they now control and have the ability to go off-planet using the former Ethical Technologies. They can even have chickens and kitties made to order if it pleases them.

Science Fiction. Good stuff.

Perhaps some day I can live in your chicken world................

Make fun of me all you want......

I understand that you cannot all live in MY world......or would want to.

Nice try, Chicken..........poke all you can, that's usually what people who do not understand something do.

---

"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster