Trying to give the weed? Then don't use the new electronic cigarettes, it might get a bit dangerous for you....

Electronic Cigarette Terror Alert

One passenger every 10 minutes for 48 passengers? That is 470 minutes start to finish or about 8 hours. That is substantially more than the 4 hours reported for the whole incident.

(NOTE, 10 * 48 is 480 minutes, but the first passenger would leave at time 0, not time 10, so I subtracted 10 minutes).

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BOINC WIKI

Guess the Joke was on me........meowsigh.

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the
classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and
their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion
on the word 'tragedy'. So our illustrious president asked the class for an
example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm,
is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would
be a tragedy." "No," said Obama "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove
over a cliff, killling everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid
not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched
the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of
a tragedy?"

Finally, at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a
quiet voice he said, "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was
struck by a 'friendly fire' missle and blown to smithereens, that would
be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why
that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell
wouldn't be a great loss.... and you can bet your ass it's probably not
an accident either."

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Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...

"Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen.. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure.

"I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem ? "

"It's swollen," Fred replied

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WEE SCOTTISH BLONDE
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in Glasgow were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowploughs can get through".
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......." Then the power went off. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowploughs can get through?"
Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice, that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?"

What do you call a guy who takes too long to take his swing in golf?


A putts

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Rise of passive-aggresive wi-fi names

Mines "HMP Whitemarsh"

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This just has to be the joke of the decade......

craziest stag stunt ever?

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Anyone else following the Papal election? The result is announced by black smoke, or white smoke....

.... trouble is, all my TV can show is fifty shades of grey.

Anyone else following the Papal election? The result is announced by black smoke, or white smoke....

.... trouble is, all my TV can show is fifty shades of grey.

So does the book;)

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Office workers beware!

Bet he won't do that again

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An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket.

The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!"

Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?"

The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

A Manager, a Mechanical Engineer and a Software Engineer are going off to a new site in a car. The car gets to the top of a slope, and as it drops down the slope it becomes apparent that the brakes have failed. They negotiate the bend at the bottom - just - on two wheels and a door-handle and rattle to a halt in a hedge, shaken, though not stirred.

The Manager is the first to speak. "Well, I'm going to call a meeting, get everyone round the table, and run a cause-and-effect session to analyse what happened and see if we can prevent a recurrence."

"Fine", says the Mechanical Engineer, grabbing the toolbox out of the boot/trunk. "While you're doing that I'm going to fix the brakes."

The Software Engineer speaks last. "Well, I think we ought to push it back up the hill and see if it happens again!"

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BOINC WIKI

New cereal on the market....

..cereal or rabbit food? You decide......

Breakfast in Bed

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Something that might give you a giggle or two.
Vids of 7 epic game show fails...

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"Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting." Alan Dean Foster

Top Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Computer


10. Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.


9. It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.


8. In order to start it, you need some jumper cables and a friend's car.


7. It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".


6. The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.


5. Whenever you turn it on, all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.


4. The screen often displays the message, "Ain't it break time yet?"


3. The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"


2. The only chip inside is a Dorito.


1. You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Lol:) Never had a Dell before...

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rOZZ
Music
Pictures

Once upon a time, when you bought a computer, they gave you a manual. Now, they don't give you anything, except maybe a CD. But if you are a complete novice, you don't even know how to start it and consult the CD. Once, at Trieste Area Science Park some people in my office had a SUN workstation and crashed it. So they asked me to help. I had never used a SUN before, so I told them "give me a manual". They gave me a CD but the SUN would not boot and my Bull/MIPS mini with UNIX had not a CD reader, only a tape reader. Then I remembered that, in another office,, there existed a SUN WS. I went there and asked the permission to insert the CD and read a few instructions. That was the time when tapes for my UNIX machine arrived from the USA with "good luck" written on it. Happy Times!
Tullio

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I used to login to a Honeywell/Bull Mini in the mid 70's :-0

DPS/4 or DPS/6? Honeywell had Datanet before Internet existed. But really Honeywell Information Systems Italy was the Olivetti Divisione Elettronica which had developed the Elea computer in the Sixties. Then the Olivetti family sold it to General Electric, which sold it to Honeywell, which resold it to Bull, which buried it. I used to work in Pregnana Milanese in Via ai Laboratori Olivetti.
Tullio

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I used to login to a Honeywell/Bull Mini in the mid 70's :-0

DPS/4 or DPS/6? Honeywell had Datanet before Internet existed. But really Honeywell Information Systems Italy was the Olivetti Divisione Elettronica which had developed the Elea computer in the Sixties. Then the Olivetti family sold it to General Electric, which sold it to Honeywell, which resold it to Bull, which buried it. I used to work in Pregnana Milanese in Via ai Laboratori Olivetti.
Tullio

Every manufacturer of the time had a networking solution. That is why it is called the INTERnet. The internet was originally for networking across networks of different flavors.

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BOINC WIKI