My name is Eric and I'm a workaholic.
I'm not complaining and I'm certainly not bragging. I'm not looking for pity. I just want some you to know why I don't answer my email for days on end, or keep up with what's going on in the forums.
It sucks sometimes, but its what I am. I've become what I, as a child, vowed never to become. My father, in other words. I guess it happens to us all.
How do I know I'm a workaholic? I know the warning signs. My vacation pot is full at 384 hours. If I don't use vacation days, I don't earn any more. (But my grants still get charged for them). I would like to use them, but when I dream about vacation, I usually dream about using the time to do the work I don't have time to do when I'm at work (i.e. the parts of work I enjoy).
And my cats don't remember who I am.
I could have picked a better substance to become addicted to. Maybe if I added in amphetamines... Then I'd really get some work done. No? I guess caffeine will have to do.
That's not to say I don't enjoy my job. I do... Some of the time. Not really this week. I spent the entire week pounding the keyboard trying to get a proposal done in hope that I can convince a committee of my peers (read: people who don't want to see me get any money if what I'm doing might compete with their work) that I'm worthy of getting enough money to pay a bit less half my salary for the next three years. It goes with the turf, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
A fortunate part of aging is that you can't put in the hours like you used to. As a grad student I used to sleep at the lab 2 hours a night for weeks on end. Now that would kill me, and if it didn't my wife would.
The unfortunate part of aging is that after a 16 hour work day you can't do much of anything. My desk is so comfortable that I can barely turn my head. Does it look to you like I'm developing a shoulder hump? I think I can sleep face down without my chest touching the mattress.
The proposal is due on tuesday, so there are only 4 more 16 hour work days before I can get back to work.
But I can't. My parents are coming into town on Wednesday night and won't be leaving until Tuesday morning. Looks like I'll get to use 20 hours of that vacation time after all. Unless I count my actual work hours that is. Think there's any chance I won't have put in 40 hours by the time I leave work on Tuesday?
Sorry for the downer. I'll try to be a bit more upbeat next week, after a decent night's sleep.
Well, back to work... It's not quitting time yet.