. . . a few excerpts from what i term " . . . get a clue" -

> One of our users, upon receiving his new computer, deleted most of the files in the system area.
He said he didn't know what those files did, so he got rid of them. For some strange reason,
the system refused to work properly afterward

> A girl walked into the computer center where I work. She said she was having problems with her Mac.
I asked what kind of Mac she had. In an indignant voice, she replied, "Duh, Intosh."

> Customer: "I don't use DOS. What would happen if I deleted that directory?"

> Overheard in a classroom:

Student: "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"

> Customer: (angrily) "You said I would get 98 windows with this computer. Where are they?"

> A customer called in with modem problems.

- Tech Support: "Ok, we're going to check your modem settings. First thing we need
to do is make sure all programs are closed."
- Customer: "How do I know if everything is closed?"
- Me: "Make sure all windows are closed."
- Customer: "But...I'm in the basement. I don't have any windows here."

Lucky me, I made it to the the mute button in time!

> Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy woman, it's twenty below outside..."

Customer: "My machine won't do anything."
Tech Support: "What's on the screen right now?"
Customer: "It's frozen, it's showing my Windows desktop."
Tech Support: "Try hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete, tell me what happens."
Customer: (taptaptap) "Nothing."
Tech Support: "Did you hit all of them at once?"
Customer: "Umm...just a second." (taptaptap) "I did that time. Nothing happened."
Tech Support: "Try it again."
Customer: (taptaptap) "No, it's just sitting there."
Tech Support: "Move the mouse around. What happens?"
Customer: "Nothing, the arrow doesn't move."
Tech Support: "Ok, last try, hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete again."
Customer: "Still nothing."
Tech Support: "Hit your numlock key. Does the light flash?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, you're going to have to shut your computer off. Just press the power button, wait for a couple of seconds, and turn it on again."
Customer: "I've heard that's bad for Windows."
Tech Support: "Um, well, you can't do anything else, right?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Well, you can't hurt it any worse then."
Customer: "But I've heard it's bad for Windows to just shut it off without shutting down first."
Tech Support: "Yes, but it's locked up. There's nothing else you can do."
Customer: "Will it hurt my Windows?"
Tech Support: "Probably no worse than it already was by locking up."

Customer: "Well...ok...but if it doesn't work, will you come over and fix it for me?"

I got a call one day from a woman who wanted to delete a file and reclaim

some valuable hard disk space on her Macintosh.


Customer: "I've dragged the file to the desktop, and I still don't have the disk space."


Tech Support: "The file is still on your hard disk. You've got to click and drag it into the trash can."

Customer: "I still don't seem to have the disk space."


Tech Support: "You've got to click on 'Empty Trash', and that will permanently delete the file.

Then you'll have that disk space back."


Customer: "Permanently delete the file? But what if I need it?"

I've read the other day:

"If everything else fails, exchange the user!"

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Account frozen...

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Account frozen...

Seen on a web page:

"This site best viewed in Netscape Explorer."

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Life on earth is the global equivalent of not storing things in the fridge.

TRUE; I once had to tell someone they had to at least have a phone line to go "ONLINE"!(In the OLD days)

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I Desire Peace and Justice, Jim Scott (Mod-Ret.)

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Account frozen...

Where does all the backup go?

[Edit] spotted the backup potty - you sure that's big enough?

[edit again] shouldn't the backup be off-site in next door's closet?

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flaming balloons

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Account frozen...

The Old Phone

> > > > > When I was quite young, my father had
> > one of the first
> > > > > telephones in our neighborhood. I
> > remember the polished, old case
> > > fastened
> > > > > to the wall.
> > > > > The shiny receiver hung on the side of
> > the box.
> > > > > I was too little to reach the
> > telephone, but used to
> > > > > listen with fascination when my mother
> > talked to it.
> > > > > Then I discovered that somewhere
> > inside the wonderful
> > > > > device lived an amazing person. Her
> > name was "Information Please"
> > and
> > > > > there was nothing she did not know.
> > > > > Information Please could supply
> > anyone's number and the
> > > > > correct time. My personal experience
> > with the genie-in-a-bottle came
> > > one
> > > > > day
> > > > > while my mother was visiting a
> > neighbor.
> > > > > Amusing myself at the tool bench in
> > the basement, I
> > > > > whacked my finger with a hammer, the
> > pain was terrible, but there
> > > seemed
> > > > no
> > > > > point in crying because there was no
> > one home to give sympathy.
> > > > > I walked around the house sucking my
> > throbbing finger,
> > > > > finally arriving at the stairway. The
> > telephone! Quickly, I ran for
> > the
> > > > > footstool in the parlor and dragged it
> > to the landing. Climbing up, I
> > > > > unhooked the receiver and held it to my
> > ear. "Information, please"
> > > > > I said into the mouthpiece just above
> > my head. A click or
> > > > > two and a small clear voice spoke into
> > my ear. "Information." "I hurt
> > > > > my finger..." I wailed into the phone,
> > the tears came readily enough
> > > now
> > > > > that I had an audience.
> > > > > "Isn't your mother home?" came the
> > question.
> > > > > "Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.
> > > > > "Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.
> > > > > "No," I replied. "I hit my finger
> > with the hammer and it
> > > > > hurts."
> > > > > "Can you open the icebox?" she asked.
> > > > > I said I could.
> > > > > "Then chip off a little bit of ice
> > and hold it to your
> > > > > finger," said the voice.
> > > > > After that, I called "Information
> > Please" for
> > > > > everything. I asked her for help with
> > my geography, and she told me
> > > > > where Philadelphia was. She helped me
> > with my math. She told me
> > > > > my pet chipmunk that I had caught in
> > the park just the day before,
> > > would
> > > > > eat fruit and nuts.
> > > > > Then, there was the time Petey, our
> > pet canary, died. I
> > > > > called, "Information Please," and told
> > her the sad story. She
> > > > > listened, and then said things
> > grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I
> > > was
> > > > > not
> > > > > consoled.
> > > > > I asked her, "Why is it that birds
> > should sing so beautifully
> > > > > and bring joy to all families, only to
> > end up as a heap of feathers
> > > > > on the bottom of a cage?"
> > > > > She must have sensed my deep concern,
> > for she said
> > > > > quietly,"Paul always remember that
> > there are other worlds to sing
> > in."
> > > > > Somehow I felt better.
> > > > > Another day I was on the telephone,
> > "Information
> > > > > Please." "Information," said in the
> > now familiar voice.
> > > > > "How do I spell fix?" I asked.
> > > > > All this took place in a small town in
> > the Pacific
> > > > > Northwest.
> > > > > When I was nine years old, we moved
> > across the country to
> > > > > Boston.
> > > > > I missed my friend very much.
> > "Information Please"
> > > > > belonged in that old wooden box back
> > home and I somehow
> > > > > never thought of trying the shiny new
> > > > > phone that sat on the table in the
> > hall. As I grew into my
> > > > > teens, the memories of those childhood
> > conversations never really
> > left
> > > > > me.
> > > > > Often, in moments of doubt and
> > perplexity I would recall the serene
> > > > > sense of security
> > > > > I had then. I appreciated now how
> > patient, understanding,
> > > > > and kind she was to have spent her time
> > on a little boy..
> > > > > A few years later, on my way west to
> > college, my plane
> > > > > put down in Seattle. I had about a
> > half-hour or so between planes. I
> > > > > spent 15 minutes or so on the phone
> > with my sister, who lived
> > > > > there now.
> > > > > Then without thinking what I was
> > doing, I dialed my
> > > > > hometown operator and said,
> > "Information Please."
> > > > > Miraculously, I heard the small, clear
> > voice I knew so
> > > > > well.
> > > > > "Information."
> > > > > I hadn't planned this, but I heard
> > myself saying, "Could
> > > > > you please tell me how to spell fix?"
> > There was a long pause. Then
> > came
> > > > the
> > > > > soft spoken answer, "I guess your
> > finger must have healed by now."
> > > > > I laughed, "So it's really you," I
> > said. "I wonder if
> > > > > you have any idea how much you meant to
> > me during that time?"
> > > > > I wonder," she said, "if you know how
> > much your call
> > > > > meant to me. I never had any children
> > and I used to look forward to
> > > your
> > > > > calls."
> > > > > I told her how often I had thought of
> > her over the years
> > > > > and I asked if
> > > > > I could call her again when I came back
> > to visit my sister..
> > > > > "Please do," she said. "Just ask for
> > Sally."
> > > > > Three months later I was back in
> > Seattle. A different
> > > > > voice answered,
> > > > > "Information." I asked for Sally.
> > > > > "Are you a friend?" she said.
> > > > > "Yes, a very old friend," I answered.
> > > > > "I'm sorry to have to tell you this,"
> > she said. "Sally
> > > > > had been working part-time the last few
> > years because she was sick.
> > > > > She died five weeks ago."
> > > > > Before I could hang up she said, "Wait
> > a minute, did you
> > > > > say your name was Paul?"
> > > > > "Yes." I answered.
> > > > > "Well, Sally left a message for you.
> > She wrote it down
> > > > > in case you called. Let me read it to
> > you."
> > > > > The note said, "Tell him there are
> > other worlds to sing in.He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression
you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Why not pass this on? I just did.... Lifting you on eagle's wings.

May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.

Lovely one, Nobody.
I really enjoyed that. I will copy it and print. and hang it above my computer.

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Join Calm Chaos

Nobody, that was really great.

Thanks!

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It's good to be back amongst friends and colleagues

I liked that Richard.

Thank You.
Al

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Account frozen...

That one bought a tear to my eye buddy!

"Is it switched on?"
"Yes"
"Then please switch it off"
"OK... Oh, it's working now"

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I'll never use floppy disks again! They are DANGEROUS!!!!

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Account frozen...

Customer: Your program won't print to my printer.
Tech Support: Is it plugged in?
Customer: Oh.
CLICK.

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BOINC WIKI

"No, You weren't downloaded, You were born."